Lean Musings and other stuff...

Be a better Magnet

This week’s topic could’ve easily been titled “what goes around comes around”, kismet, or even karma. Each implying some sort of reciprocal relationship between what you emote, share, or consistently put out to the world around you will be attracted to you. I thought we might look at that from a little less esoteric point of view.

Let’s step back for a second and reflect:

• Are you aware of how you are perceived? Do you care – why or why not?
• Are you aware of the choices you make and their consequences? Which types of decisions? What criteria?
• Are you willing to be accountable for both? To whom?

You answered yes to at least two of them

The argument for your word choice, attitude, demeanor, and choices creating a “feedback loop” that essentially attracts the same sort of behavior doesn’t need to be grounded in any thing exotic. It goes something like this. If you are unaware of how you come across, people who don’t prefer your brand or style will often steer clear versus pointing it out. For those that have no choice but to be around you, will do so by minimizing the number and length of interactions. If you are wreckless with your choices, more intentional people will avoid you or minimize contact to reduce personal risk. And, if you aren’t easily held accountable for how you operate and the choices you make, more responsible people will avoid being a part of your decisions or discussions whenever possible. Conversely, if you aspire or achieve all three, those that desire to be more like that or are the same, will seek you out and prefer to work and collaborate with you. What you put out into your environment comes back to you over time.

You answered no to more than one of them

Honestly, unless you said no to all of them, this makes up most of us. Actually, unless you said no to every question, you could merge both groups into one, large, “work in progress” super group. Unless another factor is true – you’ve stopped challenging yourself and growing. You might be “stuck” with an attitude, though process, or behavior you can’t seem to drop. Maybe those around who were attracted to it don’t like the idea of you changing and actually encourage the very thing you are trying to grow out of – yikes! Change people!

Since we paused to reflect, think about the conversations this week, meetings, emails, etc and what was given back to you. Did anything surprise you good or bad? Those are usually the clues we’re putting something out others don’t like or seems to be new for your interactions. You withheld a comment, you acted where you would normally be passive, you were calm and empathetic when in the past you would’ve lashed out are acted out. We all need help with our blind spots and we certainly all have them.

So, if you don’t have one, find someone to be your mirror, your “magnet checker”. Someone who will tell you honestly about what’s being attracted by what you are putting out to those around you. If you’re lucky, find a few and be one for them.

If you’re going to attract something on this journey we are all on, it might as well be something you actually want and benefit from – right?