Leaky Language…..

How the Words We Use Shape Our Leadership.

What am I talking about when I say "leaky language"?

As coaches, we know that our job isn’t about telling someone what to do. It's about listening—really listening, like your life depends on it. Not just to what is being said but to how it’s being said. The words chosen, the tone, the order—it all matters.

Coaching starts with building deep, long-term relationships, connecting, and creating awareness. And we begin by paying attention to what we call “leaky language”—the subtle cues people reveal through their words without even realising it.

What is Leaky Language?

It’s the fillers, the word tics, and the semantics that leaks through when you think you’re being clear. It’s that frustration when you’re not understood when you’ve said exactly what you needed to say, but the other person doesn’t seem to get it.

Do you blame them?

Think about the last time you gave instructions and the task was misunderstood or left incomplete. You were sure you were clear, but somewhere in the exchange, the message got lost.

Recently, in one of our workshops, we were reminded of our language's impact.

Someone asked, “What’s the most important thing we can do to be heard?”

The answer was obvious: It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.

Plain Speaking vs. Leaky Language

In our Leadership or Leadershit program, we often see leaders struggle to connect with their teams because they’re unknowingly caught in leaky language. Plain speaking—clear, direct, and without filler—is key to creating impact, influence, and trust.

But let’s be real: how often do you fall back on jargon, acronyms, or clichés? The language you use can either create clarity or build walls.

Do you ever get frustrated when your message doesn’t land? It’s not just the listener's fault. It’s how you’ve spoken.

The Dark Side of Plain Speaking

Now, plain speaking isn’t just about being blunt. Kim Scott’s Radical Candour tried to promote this straightforward approach, but it fell short. She had to revise her work because she realised that plain speaking without care often becomes just rudeness.

At and., we believe in direct, impactful communication that isn’t about undermining others, but about building clarity and connection. It’s a principle woven into our Survive or Thrive program, helping leaders move from leadershit—where communication is reactive and unclear—into leadership where your words drive action and trust.

Practical Tips for Managing Leaky Language

If you’re a leader, coach, or anyone who communicates regularly (and that’s all of us), it’s important to be aware of how you speak.

Here are some questions to consider:

1. Do you use plain, clear language? Or are you using filler words and jargon that confuse others?
2. Are you communicating to be understood or to show power?
3. Do you rely on company acronyms and buzzwords? Are you connecting or disconnecting with your audience?

At and., we train leaders to become aware of their leaky language and replace it with clear, direct communication—helping them move from managing to leading.

Instant Tips for Clear, Impactful Speaking

1. Never assume. Ever. Always ask questions and listen to the answers before speaking again. We naturally assume the other person is in the same headspace as we are, but they never are.

2. Slow down. Stop interrupting. Speak less. Use familiar words. Speaking clearly requires fewer words and more pauses.

3. Be aware of your leaky language. Filler words like "um," "like," or "you know" dilute your message. These habits can cost you credibility and make it harder for others to follow your point.

Understanding Your Own Leaky Language: A Quick Exercise

1. Record yourself speaking for two minutes on a topic you love.
2. Then, record yourself speaking about something you dislike.
3. Finally, talk about a neutral topic for two minutes.
4. Review the recordings and identify repeated words or phrases.
5. This is your leaky language. Be aware of it, and slowly work to reduce it.

Word Granularity: The Key to Precision

Brene Brown speaks to the power of words in her book Atlas of the Heart. The more specific your words, the more connected and effective your communication.

For instance, instead of saying you’re “happy,” think about whether you mean “content,” “joyful,” or “proud.” Each word evokes a different emotion and response. The same goes for leadership—your words directly impact how your team responds.

Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research on emotional granularity also highlights the neurological impact of clear, specific language. In leadership, plain speaking isn’t just about clarity—it affects brain processing, making your message easier to absorb and act upon.

Speaking with Impact: Transforming Leadershit into Leadership

At and., we’ve seen firsthand how leaky language keeps leaders stuck in leadershit. It’s one of the key areas we focus on in our Leadership or Leadershit program—helping leaders transform their communication from vague, reactive, and unclear to precise, purposeful, and actionable.

What’s Stopping You from Speaking Clearly?

Ultimately, plain speaking creates better connections, builds trust, and leads to results. Yet, we often avoid it because it requires self-reflection and effort. At and., we challenge leaders to slow down, self-analyze, and become better communicators—both with their teams and with themselves.

If you’re ready to move from leadershit to real leadership, start by reflecting on how you speak. Take our Leadership or Leadershit Quiz to find out where you stand and what changes you need to make to become a more impactful leader.

Are you ready to stop leaking leadership potential?

Take our Leadership or Leadershit Quiz today and start your journey to clarity.

Take the mini Leadership or Leadershit Quiz