LEAKED: Copywriting Agency's Desperate Pivot to 'Artisanal Content' in the age of AI

INTERNAL MEMO?

Date: April 15, 2025

From: Managing Director's Desk

To: All Remaining Human Copywriters (Both of You)

Subject: Our Exciting Pivot to Artisanal Content Solutions?

Dear valued content craftspeople,

As we face the inevitable AI apocalypse in our industry, I'm excited to announce [meta]narrative's exciting pivot into what we're calling "Artisanal Content Solutions?" (formerly known as our Global Agency Network's APAC Digital Content Hub).

While our competitors race to the bottom with instant AI-generated content, we're taking a differentiated approach which we think will put us in a good position to compete: I call it Heritage-Centric Content Optimization?.

Here's how we're going to express our new positioning to clients:

INTRODUCING: THE LAST HUMAN-ONLY B2B CONTENT ATELIER IN SINGAPORE

Yes, AI can now generate perfect marketing copy faster than our intern burns through mental health days. But we're doubling down on what makes us uniquely special. Our Artisanal Content Solutions? positioning will be delivered as follows:

OUR CONTENT GENERATION PROCESS:

• Each deliverable personally written and aged in Moleskine notebooks which we will display prominently during our client meetings
• Sustainable bullet points ethically sourced from thought leadership farms within 2km of our office
• Statistics hand-massaged using Excel 2017 (as you know, HQ still hasn’t given us the budget to upgrade)
• Guaranteed AI-free* (*terms and conditions apply)

OUR NEW SERVICE OFFERINGS:

• Bespoke LinkedIn posts (now with 50% more trend-jacking buzzwords)
• Hand-crafted CTAs (tested on an actual human intern)
• Multi-language content (in both simplified AND traditional Chinese because our intern can read and write in both)

PREMIUM OFFERING: Our signature "Digital Transformation Journey" white paper package

• Only 2 months from brief to first draft!
• Includes unlimited revisions (or until one of you leave. But the intern has to stay.)
• Certificate of Authenticity proving no LLM was consulted

DELIVERY TIMELINE: Please advise clients that all deliverables are subject to our artisanal timeline (between 6 to 12 weeks, not counting public holidays).

You can use the following approved client testimonials:

"It's like having a time machine to October 2022!" - Former Client

“[meta]narrative's handcrafted content strategy was so far behind market trends, it became retro-chic. We're now using their work for our 'vintage digital approach.' - CIO from AI Startup

"Their commitment to human-only content creation is admirable; like watching someone craft artisanal ice cubes in Singapore." - Digital Transformation Lead of an MNC

YOUR NEXT STEPS:

1. Please update your email signatures to include "Artisanal Content Crafter"
2. Start practicing the phrase "handcrafted with human-originated authenticity"
3. Update your LinkedIn profiles (while you still have jobs)

Remember team, we're not losing the race against AI - we're pioneering what I call 'The Luxury of Human Latency?. And please please make sure the intern stays.

Warm regards,?

[NAME REDACTED]

Managing Director (Previously Senior Copywriter)