Leading & Working From HOME: Tips to Lead Yourself, Your Employees and Your Family

As more leaders step up to the challenge of leading while working from home, many of whom are joined by children who are schooling-from-home, this Leading/Working from HOME guide provides proven tips and tools to better lead yourself, your employees and your family.

Write down the top 1-3 things you’ll put into practice today.

H: Hold One-On-Ones

Hold consistent, reoccurring one-on-ones or “O3s”. 

Whether you call it an O3, one-on-one meeting, 1:1, 1-2-1, 1-on-1, or check-in, we’re talking about conversations where it’s just you as the manager and one of your employees. Click here to learn why O3s are important and how to roll them out, including a sample e-mail you can send to your team.

The same reasons to have an O3 with an employee at work apply to everyone in your personal life, from your partner to children. Set aside individual time for each member.

In times of crisis and while many are working from home, in addition to O3s, the frequency of your touchpoints should be almost daily. Use multiple channels to communicate: video calls, IM, meetings, e-mail. Along with O3s, plan a weekly team meeting. 

And even for those you don’t manage, consider scheduling virtual water cooler chats. 5-10-minute touch bases with no set agenda but just a chance to chat. 

O: Organize & Order 

Set aside a designated work area that works.

You’re trying to figure out how to do your best work outside of your typical office setting, and your kids will need to learn how to do it outside of school.

The more you can organize your new way of life and maintain a house of order, the easier it will be to focus and excel in the new environment.  

• If feasible, your new workspace should have a closed door, so you can mentally and physically separate yourself when working. 
• Your room should have good ventilation. You smell. Don’t worry, I smell too. But it’s not just about the smell, it’s about oxygen. After several hours in a closed room, you’ll get headaches as you’re not getting enough fresh air. 
• When you’re focusing on being at work, mentally and physical work; when you’re ready to play and relax, allow yourself to play and relax. Give yourself triggers to know when to transition into each.  
• Make it ergonomic: to get the correct posture, your feet should be flat on the floor, and when sitting upright, your eyes should be roughly level with the top of the computer screen. Pay attention that your shoulders are relaxed and low, not high and hunched up. It’s also best to have your arms resting on a support rather being held up.

Master the morning:

1. Make your bed.
2. Immediately chug water.
3. Move: exercise or stretch.
4. Meditate or read something inspirational.
5. Shower and/or get ready for the day…look good; feel good.
6. Eat a healthy breakfast.
7. Mentally and physically transition into your office space and work mode.
8. Take 15-30 minutes to plan out the day.

Notice how “check iPhone and inbox” were NOT mentioned yet!

Leverage the top 3 productivity tips (click here to see these in detail).

1. Turn off e-mail notifications.
2. Manage your day through your calendar and not by your inbox. Your kids also need structure, order and a schedule (click here to get the sample schedule in the full e-book).
3. Use the EDGE Model (Empty – Decide – Group – Execute).

M: Manage Your Mind

Managing your mind changes everything, without having to change everything.

Click here for the full version for managing your mind.

Many people right now are feeling stressed out, anxious, overwhelmed or fearful.

When asked why, they say because of the coronavirus, or their bad boss, or fear of not having enough money or food, or because they have so much work to do…and now they must do it at home with kids running around!

But have you have stopped to think about what causes us to feel what we feel? Why do you feel stressed, sad, fearful, happy, confident, angry or inspired? 

So many people think happiness, feelings of love, security or other emotions they want to feel occur outside of their control and that is simply not true.

Many are taught that if we don’t feel joy inside, we should seek immediate pleasure from something outside of us…and it’s usually presented that it will come when we do or get something we don’t yet have. The problem is this pleasure is usually short-term and then the lack of joy remains. 

Joy and happiness come from within us, from managing our mind. How we feel is never because of what we have or don’t have or what we do or don’t do.

So, if circumstances in our outer world don’t cause feelings, what does?

The thoughts you choose to BELIEVE in your brain cause EMOTIONS you feel.

What you choose to think about in regard to your circumstances either makes you feel better or worse, regardless of what is going on in your life. It’s not what happens to us, but what we choose to think about what happens to us that causes us to feel any emotion.

Nothing that happens in your life is good, bad, painful or wonderful UNTIL you choose to have a thought about that circumstance. And when you choose a thought, that drives how you feel. All our emotions come from our beliefs, what we’re thinking. 

Most leaders have no idea of the world they’re co-creating because they’re not aware of what they’re thinking and the impact that has on their emotions, actions and results.

That doesn’t mean we always want to only think thoughts that make us happy. When someone is impacted by the coronavirus, we want to be sad, we want to feel longing for those we love and have lost. But the power comes when you realize that you are still choosing those emotions and it’s part of this wonderful, growth-producing human existence to not feel happy all the time. We sometimes experience the sorrow to fully appreciate the joy.

The BEAR Model

There’s a way to take back control of what you can control. It’s by uncovering your beliefs (what you think), and your emotions (how you feel). The process to help you do this is through The BEAR Model. 

We call it the BEAR model or C’ing (like seeing) your BEAR because each letter represents an important sequential part in the process:

Circumstances are neutral facts, your past, what other people say or do, or anything else outside of your control. You form beliefs or a sentence in your mind for what those circumstances mean; those beliefs drive your emotions; emotions fuel your action or inaction and the combination of those actions create results.

The way to improve your mental and emotional health is to first become aware of what your brain is thinking and separate it from your circumstances, so you gain power over what you can control. In other words, you C (“see”) your BEAR by becoming aware of your beliefs, emotions, actions and results in your current BEAR model.

If you want different results, you lead and direct your brain to envision the future results you want, then up-level the beliefs, emotions and actions to get the results you want. In other words, you BEAR Up.

As you begin to manage your own mind and become aware of what you’re thinking and the emotions that creates, consider these key principles:

Every thought is a choice you choose to think, and beliefs are optional.

Every feeling is a choice you choose to feel, and emotions are optional

Most all problems we face in life are because we think something should be different. You should be different, other people should be different, your past should have been different, your present should be different of your future should be different.

Instead of having to change the world, which you can’t control, change the way you think about yourself, think about others, or think about the past, present or future and you change everything.

When you understand which belief you want to change, you can then start to think differently and take control of what’s inside your own brain, which will make you feel and act differently, and give you different results…no more feeling like you need to control everyone and everything else.

Left unsupervised, the human brain for both you and those you lead will do the exact opposite of what is needed to get the desired results. You can reprogram your brain or direct it by engaging your Reticular Activating System (RAS), along with other strategies like laddering or building Belief Bridges to believe new thoughts. (see how HERE)

As you shift your thinking, your feelings, actions and results will start to shift accordingly. Soon small shifts will be giant leaps to the life you want. 

We, as a human race, are going through a growth moment. We don’t need a lower bar of challenge during these turbulent times, but to become the type of people more capable of reaching higher. 

Just as we’re advised on an airplane to use the oxygen mask on ourselves first before helping others, you first BEAR Up and learn to manage your own mind and then you can go lead. 

E: Exercise & Energize

• Get at least 30 minutes of sweat-producing exercise a day.
• Get more and better sleep (7-8 hours per night). Make the room dark, keep it clean, and avoid electronic devices (yes, that means your iPhone).
• Drink more water. Instead of a complex formula on how much you should drink, here’s the simple test…when you go talk to your porcelain buddy John throughout the day, make sure what’s in the toilet is clear. If it’s not clear, you’re not drinking enough water.
• At least every hour, take a break (and drink more water). Stand up, close your eyes, and do simple breathing exercises or stretches. Go for a quick walk outside. 
• Follow the 20-20-20 rule. Every 20 minutes focus on something at least 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Most all of your time is staring at a computer screen and this will give your eyes the needed breaks.
• Focus on your breathing. Most of us don’t properly breathe and we don’t get enough oxygen. When you do these breathing techniques right, the renewed energy is better than coffee and caffeine. When you do deep breaths you should feel it in your belly then chest then back then ribs. Try the 4-4-8 method: Breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, then out for 8.
• Need a quick stress relief? Take a deep breath and then when exhaling, repeat the word, “Release, release, release” as you blow out.
• Take time to eat, especially during lunch (and drink more water). But then close the kitchen when it’s not eating time, or else you’ll be grazing throughout the day.
• Connect with nature. In as little as 5 – 10 minutes, go outside and focus on your 5 senses. For one minute, focus only on what you can hear. Then, focus only on your touch, paying attention to what you feel. My favorite is when I focus on what I can see. Look at the intricacies in the flower, the blade of grass, the sky. It’s amazing how great you feel after appreciating nature while also appreciating how amazing your body is for having senses.

You’ve just read many different tips and tools, now is the time to write down the top 1-3 things you’ll put into practice today, then continue to build on that list as you’re ready for more. 

During times of crises and ambiguity, leadership is needed more than ever. From the boardroom to the family room, those you care about need you to show up at our best, to become the leader they want to follow.  

BEAR Up and Go Lead!

For those few, brave souls who want more, enjoy the full e-book version below, especially the life-changing “Manage Your Mind” section.

Click here to access the FREE e-book.

*Note about the BEAR model and its origin: Joe Nabrotzky has been working on the BEAR model since the 1990’s, initially while studying the brain and human behavior, and then using it to train and coach leaders in a Fortune 100 company for over a decade. But when he and his wife, Brittany Nabrotzky, came across the work of Brooke Castillo from the Life Coach School, Brooke took the concepts and explanations to another level, to the point that Brittany became certified to use Brooke’s model. But even Brooke with her CTFAR model (Circumstance – Thought – Feeling – Action – Result) would be the first to share that her model is just one of many ways of describing true principles. All credit for the value you get from the BEAR Model is attributed to Brooke Castillo and all the other brilliant behavioral and cognitive scientists who describe the laws behind why we do what we do, feel how we feel and get the results we get.