Leading Woman

The year is 2016.

I recently move back to Nigeria and start working as an Assistant Program Manager at eHealth Africa (an international NGO that develops data-driven solutions for health systems strengthening within underserved communities). My focus is on getting acquainted with the eHealth Africa team, learning the ropes, working diligently, and adjusting to my new life as a 'Nigerian abroad that has returned home' after many years away.

It's intense.

Thankfully, when it comes to work, I have a great manager - Anu Parvatiyar .

Anu is one of those managers that wants you to win.?

Have you ever had one of those?

They're priceless.?

From the minute I am hired, Anu kicks into gear - she ensures the operations team gets me a new work laptop and phone, pushes me to lead key stakeholder meetings and initiatives, champions me to our executive team, critically reviews my reports and provides valuable?feedback, takes me out for lunch from time to time (if you know me, you know food is one of the ways to my heart), encourages me to rest when needed, and adds me to her personal list of people she sends insightful articles and book reviews/recommendations to yearly.

Talk about being spoiled.

Little do I know that Anu is about to go from a great manager to a great leader in my books.?

Stay with me to find out why.?

About 6 months into working with Anu, she asks me to attend a key stakeholder meeting put together by a global health organization we collaborate with on multiple initiatives, alongside a male colleague of mine from a different department.?

We get to the meeting and there are about 40+ stakeholders in the room (mostly men). My colleague and I sit down and listen to the presentations being given.?

At a point during the meeting, the coordinator turns over to us to introduce ourselves and talk about our program role in the work we collaborate on. He starts to hand the microphone immediately to my male colleague. As my colleague tries to tell him that I'll be the one speaking, while I'm simultaneously standing up and reaching out for the microphone, the coordinator smiles (more like laughs) while shaking his head to insist that my colleague speaks instead.?

Awkwarddddd.?

Especially as I'm the one representing our programs department (which the coordinator knows since he has worked with us beforehand).?

Oh, the embarrassment I'm feeling at this moment.?

I quietly sit down as my colleague (who is equally confused about what happened) goes on to speak on our behalf. When the meeting ends and we leave, my colleague apologizes for what happened and says it's clear that the coordinator did this because I was a woman. I also believe this to be the case however I tell him to forget about it and move on, I'd rather not dwell on the experience.?

He doesn't.?

By the time we get back to our office the next working day, unbeknownst to me, he has already informed Anu. She pulls me aside and tells me she knows what happened and that it is not acceptable. I tell her I don't like what happened however I'm fine with moving on.?"No"?she says, something has to be done.?

She sends an email to the coordinator, with our mutual funding partner in copy, expressing that what happened to me is completely unacceptable and I deserve an apology from the coordinator. She also mentions if this happens again with a team member of hers, we will no longer work with the coordinator on any initiatives.?

Wow...Anu for President, anyone??

This is a big deal because the coordinator is from a renowned global organization and the initiatives are well-funded.

Is this too much of a risk to bear?

Outcome: The coordinator swiftly responds to the email with an apology to me, we continue working with the coordinator and his organization, he never behaves that way to me again, and I'm grateful that my experience is seen, heard, and validated.

Misogyny:0

Women's Empowerment:1

Lessons I Learned:

1.?'Manager' and 'Leader' are not synonymous, and that's OK.?They don't have to be. You can be a great manager without being a great leader. You can be a great leader without being a great manager. You can also be a great manager AND a great leader. In this case, Anu exemplified the characteristics of both. ?

2.?Great leaders are willing to 'have skin in the game'. They have courage. Anu was willing to risk our continued relationship with two global organizations, additional funding, and potentially her own job position because an injustice happened to her team member. That's high stakes right there.

3.?Speaking up against injustice matters because 'seeing is doing'.?As you can see, this incident happened in 2016 yet here I am 6+ years later still talking about it. Why? The voices of the people who spoke up on my behalf (my colleague and my manager-turned-leader Anu) mattered and had an impact on me. Because I witnessed Anu speak up for me, it empowered me further to, later on, speak up for my team members (male and female), when necessary.?

4.?Trust is earned.?It seems that globally, we're at a trust deficit when it comes to leaders. With good reason. Trust does not automatically come because a person holds the title 'Leader' or dresses well or speaks good English. Trust is earned over a period of time, experiences, and intentional acts of care.?

5.?Being a good team member makes it easier to get support. It is always easier to stand up for a team member that cares about the team and the work. On the flip side, it is harder to stand up for a team member that shows a lack of care for the team and the work. C'est la vie.

We live and we learn.

Until the next story :)

Nwanyibuife Adaeze Ugwoeje

#Leadership #Misogyny #WomensEmpowerment #GreatLeaders