Leading with Vulnerability: A Candid Conversation with Jacob Morgan

Jacob Morgan , author of Leading with Vulnerability, joined Kim Scott Scott on the Radical Candor? podcast for a candid conversation about how leaders can leverage vulnerability to build trust and drive performance. But don't let the title fool you – Morgan's message isn't about spilling your deepest secrets at the water cooler. Instead, he advocates for a nuanced approach, combining vulnerability with strong leadership.

Vulnerability: Not Just Oversharing

Morgan defines vulnerability as "exposing a gap" in your knowledge, skills, or experience. Leading with vulnerability means acknowledging those gaps while demonstrating a commitment to closing them. It's about admitting mistakes, asking for help, and showing a willingness to learn and grow.

Why Leaders Shy Away from Vulnerability

Many leaders are taught to project an image of strength and infallibility. Morgan's interviews with CEOs revealed a common theme: leaders are often discouraged from showing vulnerability, apologizing, or admitting mistakes. This outdated mindset can create a culture of denial and hinder growth.

The Dangers of Denial

When leaders refuse to acknowledge their weaknesses or mistakes, they create a toxic environment where problems fester and solutions are elusive. Morgan shares a chilling anecdote about a CEO who exploited an employee's vulnerability, highlighting the importance of choosing who to trust.

Building Trust Through Vulnerability

Vulnerability is essential for building trust and fostering strong relationships. Morgan cites a psychologist who identified 22 different definitions of trust in academic literature, all of which involve vulnerability. To build trust, leaders must be willing to show their human side and connect with their teams on a deeper level.

The Vulnerability Wheel: A Framework for Smart Vulnerability

Morgan introduces the "vulnerability wheel," a framework for approaching vulnerability strategically. It involves considering five key factors:

• Intention: Why are you being vulnerable?
• Audience: Who are you sharing with?
• Timing: Is this the right time and place?
• Professionalism: Maintain a professional demeanor.
• Self-compassion: Don't beat yourself up if things don't go as planned.

Vulnerability in Action: A Tale of Two CEOs

Morgan shares two contrasting stories of CEOs facing crises. One CEO, facing imminent bankruptcy, abdicated responsibility and left his team to figure things out on their own. While they ultimately succeeded, this approach demonstrates a lack of leadership. In contrast, another CEO facing a similar crisis acknowledged his own uncertainty but expressed confidence in his team's ability to overcome the challenge. This vulnerable yet empowering message inspired the company to rally and achieve success.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Morgan emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, especially when vulnerability doesn't yield the desired results. It's crucial to avoid self-criticism and instead focus on learning from the experience and moving forward.

Confronting Those Who Exploit Vulnerability

Morgan and Scott discuss the importance of addressing situations where vulnerability is misused. Drawing from personal experiences with their children, they emphasize the need to assertively communicate boundaries and expectations. In the workplace, this could involve addressing a colleague who undermines you in meetings or a boss who constantly yells.

The Power of "You" Statements

When confronting someone about their behavior, Scott explains how using "you" statements can be more effective than "I" statements. Instead of saying, "I feel hurt when you yell at me," try saying, "When you yell, I can't hear what you're saying, and it prevents me from doing my job effectively." This approach focuses on the impact of the behavior rather than personal feelings, making it less likely to trigger defensiveness.

Choosing Your Battles

While it's important to address harmful behavior, it's also crucial to recognize when a relationship isn't worth salvaging. Morgan and Scott discuss the importance of prioritizing relationships that are mutually supportive and respectful.

Creating Psychological Safety (Without Going Overboard)

Psychological safety is essential for creating a workplace where people feel comfortable taking risks, sharing ideas, and admitting mistakes. However, Morgan cautions against creating an environment where "anything goes." True psychological safety involves holding people accountable while maintaining respect and fostering a culture of learning.??

Leading by Example

Ultimately, the best way to foster vulnerability and psychological safety is to lead by example. Leaders who are willing to show their own vulnerability create a culture where others feel safe to do the same.

Key Takeaways:

• Vulnerability is essential for building trust and driving performance, but it's important to be strategic about when and with whom you share.
• Confronting those who misuse vulnerability is crucial for setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships.
• Following with vulnerability can empower employees to speak up and contribute more effectively.
• Remembering the fundamental attribution error can help us approach challenging situations with more empathy and understanding.
• Psychological safety is essential, but it shouldn't come at the expense of accountability.
• Leaders who lead with vulnerability create a culture where everyone can thrive.

This insightful conversation with Jacob Morgan provides valuable guidance for leaders and employees seeking to create a more human and authentic workplace where vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Tune in to the Radical Candor? Podcast to learn to love your job and kick a** at work without losing your humanity by practicing the principles of Radical Candor. Host and Lead Radical Candor Coach Amy Sandler leads discussions with Radical Candor Author and Co-founder Kim Scott and CEO and Co-founder Jason Rosoff about what it means to be Radically Candid, why it’s simple but not easy to Care Personally and Challenge Directly on the daily, and why it’s worth it. Want to bring Radical Candor to your team? Drew Muir or Dan Greene can help! Have a topic you want us to discuss? Email it to [email protected] .