Leading with Tough Empathy
Andreas von der Heydt
Member of the Executive Board - International Business and Online
Dear Life Amplifiers,
By now “empathy” has rightly earned its place in the leadership lexicon playing a crucial role in nurturing inclusive and understanding organizational environments. However, and that is highly relevant to know, it often can′t stand on its own as part of successful leadership. That′s the case because the 'soft side' (empathy) needs to be effectively balanced with a 'firm core' (toughness), enabling leaders to make necessary, sometimes difficult decisions for the welfare of their organization and employees. Standing one's ground in the face of adversity or opposition requires a delicate interplay of empathy, assertiveness, and strategic judgment. Therefore, true leadership success lies not in empathy alone, but in harmonizing it with courage and decisiveness, by applying “tough empathy.”
What is Tough Empathy?
Tough empathy is a leadership mindset and concept I believe in very much. It represents the delicate balance between compassion and accountability in a leader's approach to their team, as it is not merely about sympathizing with your team. It's about truly understanding their perspectives, their emotions, yet holding them to high standards of performance and ethical conduct. In the words of Goffee & Jones, "Tough empathy means giving people what they need, not what they want." (Source: "Why Should anyone be Led by You?" by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones). Meaning, that at its best, tough empathy balances care for the individual and the task at hand.
What makes Tough Empathy so unique and value-adding?
Unlike “regular” empathy, which primarily focuses on understanding and sharing others' emotions, tough empathy goes a step further, integrating this understanding with the willingness to make hard decisions for the overall benefit of the team and the organization. In other words, it's empathy with edge, promoting growth and development rather than fostering complacency. It challenges team members to improve, face challenges head-on, develop resilience, and live by a problem-solving mindset. It is equally crucial for successful leaders though because it helps them to foster trust and respect and to prevent favoritism. Additionally, it underscores the leader's authenticity and enables them to maintain a healthy and transparent environment.
领英推荐
How to embrace Tough Empathy as a leader?
Applying a tough empathy mindset requires strategic thinking and keen emotional intelligence:
Consistent practice of these strategies can create a transformative leadership style that inspires and motivates teams to strive for excellence.?
What do you think?
Recommended Reading: Why should anyone be led by you
Check out also my website for more information and insights
M?tas - Lyfta fram styrkor och utmaningar. M?l - h?llbar och stabil produktion. Med produkter fr?n Shell Lubricants och min erfarenhet kan vi optimera resultatet idag och fram?t. Framtidens sm?rjmedel idag! Kontakta mig.
1 年Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the TE. Sometime I hear people use the terms empathy and sympathy with an equal meaning. Empathy is understanding someone elses emotions. Sympathy is feeling the same emotions as the other person. Reading the above, and now I have to stress that I am not a native english speaking person, the sentence above ""Unlike “regular” empathy, which primarily focuses on understanding and sharing others' emotions..."" sharing seems to be more of sympathy than empathy. Why the comment? I agree that TE to be a good way forward in a good leadership role, regardless of what you professional title says. My experience is that empathy sometimes is disregarded as too soft, when interpreted as sympathy. This in turn then blocks the TE way of leading being implemented.
Entrepreneur and Founder of CANDLESPIRIT | Digital Commerce Consulting | Ex Amazon, Marc O’Polo, ESCADA, HALLHUBER
1 年Thank you for sharing this with us. Indeed it's a tough balance between empathy and following on tough goals. However as a quite empathic person, I am sooo happy that empathy is playing a role more and more in leadership. I definitely want to follow up on that and bought the book!
Managing Director | IT Leaders 100 | Fractional CRO & CIO | Digital Transformation Expert | Financial Services & Manufacturing | 5G | Cybersecurity | DEI Advocate | TEDx Speaker | UN Women UKCSW | Own Opinions @ALF05TER
1 年Agree & thoughts Andreas von der Heydt re Tough Empathy - TE is a leadership concept that effectively balances understanding and compassion with accountability for team performance. Through active listening, observation, and feedback, as leaders we can inspire growth, resilience, and problem-solving skills, while upholding high standards and preventing favoritism. With consistent practice, Tough Empathy fosters a culture of success, trust, respect, responsibility, and accountability, resulting in improved team performance. By working towards an ideal and providing necessary coaching and support, leaders create an engaging environment that promotes positive reinforcement and team morale. Ultimately, Tough Empathy is an invaluable tool for any leader looking to maximize their team's potential.
Government Relations, Policy & Partnerships | Community Engagement | Government Sales | Risk & Compliance Management | Team Support
1 年Absolutely! Finding the balance between compassion and accountability is crucial in effective leadership. Tough empathy enables us to support and challenge others, fostering growth and success within our teams. Thanks for sharing Andreas von der Heydt.
Business Facilitator & Mountain Guide | Leader Effectiveness Facilitator
1 年I learned to use my empathy when I became a mountain guide. I had to think first about the group I'm leading and then for myself. I applied the same attitude in my team and it was the game changer for me!