Leading Through Our Brokenness

As human beings, we each suffer from myriad sources of brokenness. While finishing the book, "Just Mercy" by Bryan Stevenson, this past weekend, I was absolutely arrested by his chapter on brokenness. One of Stevenson's observations is so on point; that each of us is impacted by harmful past experiences and, that at a subconscious level those experiences shape our view of the world. How often do we judge a person or situation based upon our own internal bias and defense mechanisms without first seeking to check ourselves to understand what is triggering us, and more especially what conditions had to pre-exist in order to form that person or precipitate the situation?

At its most constructive, past hurt serves to teach us and to help elevate us into our next better selves. Left unexamined, and at its worst, unresolved hurt serves as the fuel for; our justifications, the tenacity to cling to fear, an ingrained sense of entitlement, and the expectation of absolution when guilty of bad behavior. As a leader*, it is our primary responsibility, to identify the root of our individual brokenness so that we may truly empathize with those we lead and provide sound reasoning, advice and direction. Secondly, we must take the time to reflect upon the brokenness that exists in others in order to empathize through difficult situations, recognize that context does matter, and provide mercy and grace in the face of mistakes made by our fellow human sojourners. Otherwise, our own "stuff" serves as fertile ground for the weeds of subconscious biases, outright biases, racism, discrimination, candor without compassion, reactionary behavior and any number of other defense mechanisms that have become our weapons of choice.

As leaders, particularly White leaders, we have an opportunity to lean into our broken parts in order to make us better. We can choose the leadership path that creates space for self-examination in regards to our motives and motivators. We can recognize the privilege that we have enjoyed before becoming aware the privileges were present. We can choose to educate ourselves on the fact that due to those privileges, we do not share the same every day life experience as those of Black, Indigenous or other Brown people and that difference must be recognized and reconciled for there to be healthy workplaces and a healthy world. We have the opportunity to show our vulnerability, which in turn strengthens us and those we lead. We have the opportunity to help others get help, not merely judge them for needing help. And, possibly most importantly, through a good leadership example we have the opportunity to help others help others. When we emulate what is it like to be accepting of the fact that we are all human, we are at our most humane.

#leadwell #leadershipmatters #antiracism #brokennessisstrength #behuman