Leading through this crisis - there aren't any easy answers - SORRY!

Everyone is talking about the current crisis. Yet I hesitated to join in the conversation. And here's why. I'm supposed to be an expert on leadership, and in theory, I know how we SHOULD be managing our teams, but honestly, I found myself in my mind going from uncertainty to more uncertainty, from panic to more panic, and from fear to more fear. So I asked myself, how could I give advice to other leaders, especially those at our many healthcare clients, who are on the frontlines of caring for patients in these incredible times when I didn't have control of my emotions?  

Or put more simply, when I can't get my act together who am I to offer advice or suggestions or words of wisdom.

Then I realized maybe that was the message. None of us have our act together. If we did, the crisis would be over and we would all be back to our old lives. But we don't. We don't know. We don't know how long this crisis will last. We don't know how many people will be affected or worse. We don't know how much our economy will suffer.

I know that I am not happy when I don't know. 

One of my darkest times was when my husband died in a drowning accident in Hawaii. In the morning my husband and our six-year-old son had breakfast and at dinner, I was all alone with a hotel bill I wasn't sure how I was going to pay and a kid who thought I was hiding his "papa" from him. I thought that maybe the answer was to end it all. I didn't know what life would bring me with 50% of the income and 100% of the bills. But for the last eight years, I worked it out. My business grew, my son grew and I did too as a leader. Not easy and not according to plan but life went on and a lot of it (not all of it) was actually pretty good.

So how can we deal with this crisis?

1. Acceptance. Accepting that this is happening. That this is a mess. That businesses are closed. That people are struggling. That healthcare could be overwhelmed. Acceptance doesn't mean we like what happens. It just means that this is where we start from. If we don't want to accept the situation then it is hard to make decisions. When we give feedback to a leader about his or her performance and they don't accept it - "the survey was not accurate" or "people are out to get me" - it's hard to look at how to change. When we pretend that this crisis is made up or ignore what experts are telling us about social isolation, we have the potential to make it more difficult.
2. Compassion. Be kind to each other and to ourselves. The range of emotions I go through just in the space of a few minutes is huge. I can go from immense fear about my health, my son, and my business to immense gratitude for the friends I have who are supporting me and looking out for me. I read a diatribe today from a neighbor who was complaining that the leafblowers were spreading the virus and he was going to report them to the police. This is someone who is scared and is letting that fear make him say and do things that are not the best options. It's also nuts, but I also understand why someone who is scared and feeling out of control might want to make sense of this.
3. Connection. Whenever I isolate from my team, my friends and family, and from my faith, I find that things get scarier. When I listen to my faith - my heart, my inner wisdom, my intuition - I can get back in balance. Yesterday, I was asking myself what was going to happen with my consulting and my team and my finances and I didn't come up with any great answers. But when I stopped and felt the California sun shining on my face and listened, I just heard "it will be OK". I know that doesn't mean all my problems will disappear or that life might not be very different when this pandemic is over but it does mean the sun will still come out.

Know that we are going to have dark times. Know that everyone is doing their best. And that we will get through this.

Thank you to all the doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers who are on the front lines, but also to all those people who are working out in the world whether you are delivering food or keeping the lights on.