Leading Through Conflict: Navigating Complex Workplace Dynamics

Dear friends,

The need to resolve conflicts through difficult conversations is just part of the territory for any leader. Whether the topic is difficult or the person you need to have it with is, the approach must be the same. It's less about what you say and more about the kind of person you are.

The challenge is finding the correct balance between being clear and firm and being empathetic and emotionally intelligent. The person on the listening end of a dialogue determines the meaning, regardless of how well you express yourself. Your aim is always to be understood. And sometimes that seems impossible. But as long as you take full responsibility for the conversation's outcome and make clear the consequences of accomplishing what you aim for, you will have done your job.

Today's piece is focused on what you might do when there is no resolution to an ongoing conflict. There are quite a few things you should do. Exerting authority, taking a combative stand, or being obsequious and trying to please your way out of a difficult situation are reactive tendencies you should definitely avoid.

What you do is up to you —and whether you are prepared to do what it takes to resolve the issues that keep you from accomplishing what matters most.

Here's wishing you a great week ahead!

prl

Leading Through Conflict: Navigating Complex Workplace Dynamics

by Philip R. Liebman

I don't know if it was disapproval, disappointment, or something else. But if it was disappointment, it may have been the Chairman's disappointment in himself that soured a years-long relationship that had previously seemed solid. Things were mostly friendly enough that working together felt easy — until it wasn't anymore. Over the past year and a half, everything had changed. The reasons felt murky and unresolvable. They were no longer, if ever, friends, which made matters deeply unsettling and created a disconcerting element of risk.

I sat across from my friend, a former client, over dinner as he explained why he asked to meet. He wanted to talk this out, try to make sense of the situation, and maybe get some advice on what he might do. I understood his past working relationship with his board chairman from our long-time coaching relationship. As the CEO of a sizeable financial institution, it was clear why this was weighing on him. He didn't feel personally threatened, but the souring of this relationship made things more difficult, and situations (and relationships) lacking clarity are never good.

Situations like this demonstrate why solving people's issues is more challenging than fixing problems involving even the most complex things. The more complex, ambiguous, uncertain, and volatile the world becomes, the more crucial it is to have strong working ties with the people you depend on to solve critical problems.

This friction may have been triggered by a complex technology conversion that could have gone better. These migrations rarely go perfectly, but the senior leadership team ultimately managed to see it through.

Challenges like these test a team's strengths by exposing its weaknesses. They demonstrate how the team responds to stress, remains cohesive, recovers, and can learn to adapt to change. It can be harrowing, and that's good.

Leading such a team is also a test. If you exert too much control, you undermine theirs. You must have a team you trust and fully demonstrate that trust. Competent leadership involves having both a firm grip on the problem and a light touch with those who solve it. Organizations make leaders successful, and the leader must allow the team to be fully responsible, especially when the stakes are high.

I suspect that the Board Chair, who tends to overstep his authority by inserting himself in operational issues, might feel overwhelmed by his inability to get his arms around the project. He also lacks the leadership skills to stand back and watch things play out. Instead of offering guidance, support, and congratulations to the team, he seems to sulk in his realization that he had little to do with the success – and his passive aggression towards the CEO expresses his disappointment in himself.

My advice to my friend was to give the Chairman no legitimate reason to be unhappy with him. How he feels about anybody or anything is his business. The CEO's business is to keep the organization moving forward successfully, no matter what.

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