Leading in a Sh*t Storm: How Address Survivor's Guilt - #2 in a Series

Years ago, I wrote speeches for three FBI Directors and taught public speaking at George Mason for twenty years. No speech is more difficult to give than to employees being laid off. Also, while counterintuitive, those NOT laid off often suffer from what's called Survivor's Guilt--a complex emotional state characterized by intense feelings of guilt and self-blame after surviving a traumatic event in which others did not. After a recent call with a Government Contractor whose business was gutted, I decided to outline some notes for others facing this same onerous task. The first I wrote was to those laid off. This talk is geared toward survivors. I hope it helps.

CEO/US Department Leader Speech Outline: Addressing Survivor's Guilt Among Remaining Employees

Title: "Moving Forward Together: Acknowledging Loss, Rebuilding Strength"

I. Opening: Acknowledge the Loss and Emotional Impact (5 min)

? Tone: Compassionate, supportive, forward-looking.

? Key Message: "This has been a difficult time for all of us. Many of our colleagues—your friends—are no longer here, and that's NOT something we can just brush aside."

? Recognize survivor's guilt:

? "Some of you may be feeling relief that you still have a job but also guilt that others don't. That's a normal reaction. I want to acknowledge that openly because ignoring it won't help."

II. Why This Happened, but Why It's Not About You (5 min)

? Be transparent but reassuring:

? "These layoffs were not about individual performance or worth. They were decisions made at the highest levels, often without consideration for the personal impact."

? No one 'deserved' to stay or go:

? "Some of you may wonder, 'Why them and not me?' The reality is that these decisions were made based on factors beyond anyone's control—not because those who left were any less valuable."

III. The Emotional Toll and How to Cope (10 min)

? It's okay to grieve:

? "Change brings loss, and loss brings grief. It's okay to feel sadness, frustration, or uncertainty. Ignoring these feelings won't make them go away."

? Encourage open conversations:

? "Lean on each other. Talk about your colleagues who have left. Share stories and memories, and stay connected with them if possible."

? Mental health support:

? "If you're struggling, please take advantage of available resources—whether it's counseling, employee assistance programs, or simply reaching out to a trusted colleague."

IV. The Path Forward: Redefining Our Purpose (10 min)

? Acknowledge the workplace has changed:

? "Things feel different now. We lost great people, and their absence will be felt. But we are still here, and our work still matters."

? Focusing on what we can control:

? "We can't change the past, but we can shape how we move forward—how we support one another and how we continue to do the important work we believe in."

? Recognizing extra burdens and stress:

? "Many of you may have additional responsibilities now. We see that, and we are committed to making this transition as fair and manageable as possible."

V. Strengthening the Team and Supporting One Another (10 min)

? Check in with each other:

? "Even a small 'How are you doing?' can go a long way. We are stronger when we support one another."

? Maintain morale through action:

? "If you feel frustrated or lost, channel that into something meaningful—whether it's mentoring a colleague, streamlining processes, or finding ways to innovate."

? Commitment from leadership:

? "We will continue to be transparent, to listen, and to make sure you have what you need to succeed."

VI. Closing: Finding Strength in Adversity (5 min)

? Final message of resilience:

? "This moment does not define us, but how we respond will. Our strength as a team comes from how we support each other, how we push forward, and how we adapt to Change."

? Encouragement to stay connected:

? "Let's move forward—not forgetting the past, but using it as a foundation to build something even stronger together."

? End with a sense of unity and reassurance:

? "We are still a team. We are still here. And together, we will get through this."

Speech Delivery Tips:

1. Speak from the heart – Employees need to see sincerity.

2. Make eye contact and pause for effect – Give space for reflection.

3. Use inclusive language – Say "we" and "us" often to reinforce togetherness.

4. End with a call to action – Encourage employees to check in with each other and seek support.

Here is a podcast overview of an article, Leading in Uncertain Times, that I wrote, which might help you navigate this uncertain and unfair time. I will also give presentations on this topic to agencies, companies, and organizations.

The profits from the presentation will support Northern Virginia Family Services, on whose board I served for nine years.