Leading with Radical Candor to Build Stronger Teams

There was a time when I thought being a good leader meant keeping the peace. I believed that if I created a supportive, positive environment, my team would thrive. So, when I saw someone struggling, I’d cushion my feedback, soften the message, or sometimes avoid the conversation altogether. I told myself I was being kind. But the truth? I was failing them.

One particular moment made this clear. A senior engineer on my team - brilliant, experienced, and highly capable - was unknowingly creating friction in discussions. His technical ideas were strong, but the way he pushed them shut others down. Over time, I noticed teammates withdrawing, disengaging from debates they once enjoyed. I knew I had to address it, but I hesitated. Would he take it the wrong way? Would it damage our relationship?

When I finally spoke up, I didn’t sugarcoat it. “Your ideas are strong, but the way you push them is making others hesitant to contribute. If we can adjust that, you’ll have even more impact.” I expected resistance. Instead, he nodded. “No one’s ever told me that before,” he admitted. That conversation changed everything - not just for him, but for me. I realized that avoiding tough feedback isn’t kindness. It’s neglect.

This is the essence of Radical Candor - caring personally while challenging directly. It’s not about being brutally honest for the sake of it. It’s about giving people the truth they need to grow, delivered with the intent to help, not harm. Too often, leaders shy away from this balance. They either prioritize harmony, avoiding hard truths, or they lean too far into criticism, forgetting the human behind the feedback.

Over the years, I’ve seen the impact of both extremes. Managers who avoid difficult conversations create teams where frustration simmers beneath the surface, where issues are left unspoken until they explode. On the other hand, leaders who wield feedback like a weapon leave people demotivated and disengaged. Neither approach builds strong teams.

When done right, feedback isn’t a source of fear - it’s a source of momentum. But that only happens when people trust that honesty comes from a place of investment, not judgment. Trust like that isn’t built in a single conversation. It comes from consistency - making feedback part of the team’s DNA, both in giving it and receiving it.

One of the toughest lessons I learned as a leader came when a developer pulled me aside and said, “You always encourage us to be open, but sometimes it feels like you’re holding back about your own challenges.” That one hit hard. He was right. I was asking for transparency without fully embracing it myself. If I wanted a culture of Radical Candor, I had to live it.

So I made a shift. I started openly sharing my own areas for growth, my own blind spots. I asked my team for feedback, not just about processes, but about me. The change was immediate. When people saw that I wasn’t just giving feedback but receiving it, the dynamic shifted. Conversations became more honest, more productive. People felt safe to say what needed to be said.

Radical Candor isn’t about getting feedback perfect every time. It’s about committing to honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about choosing to have the conversation rather than letting a problem fester. It’s about recognizing that the hardest feedback is often the most important.

As an Engineering Manager, my role isn’t just to deliver results - it’s to create an environment where people aren’t afraid to improve. A place where feedback isn’t a performance review checkbox but a continuous loop of growth. Because when feedback is normalized, potential is unlocked.

I’ve seen it firsthand: teams that embrace Radical Candor move faster, innovate better, and support each other more. They’re not held back by unspoken frustrations or unaddressed problems. They challenge, they push, and they grow - together.

So the real question isn’t whether to be candid. It’s whether we care enough not to hold back.