Leading is a Privilege. Hold Space for People When They Need it.

The following is the introduction in my book, The Retail Leader's Field Guide: How to Run a Kick-Ass Store Where Everyone Wants to Work.

I go back to this story often because it illustrates how we can care for our teams. What makes good leaders great are all the small human interactions that aren't tied to a metric.

May we all find great leaders, support them, and be them.

Leading is a Privilege. Hold Space for People When They Need it.

I was bleary-eyed. It had been a long week on the sales floor. The California sun streamed through the ten-foot windows which wrapped around the building, but the light did little to recharge my overworked body.

Everything hurt, and I was exhausted. I'd been working a mix of open and closing shifts, had helped in shipment, and the customer traffic had been heavy. This morning I opened, ran the floor, helped the cashiers, and stocked the shoe room. I was the only manager in the building until one o'clock.

I'd been watching the time all morning, aching for a break. By 12:30, I couldn't wait to go to lunch and sit down. I was tired, hungry, and thirsty. The minutes ticked by until my closing manager came in.

Finally, she arrived.

The 30-Minute Lunch Break

We chatted, I got her caught up, and I sprinted out the door to get food. Often in retail, you have thirty minutes for a lunch break, so you need to move quickly if you need to buy lunch. On a typical day I’d return to the store and only have ten minutes to eat.

I arrived back, sat at the management desk, and shut the office door, something I rarely did. But today, I was craving just a small slice of silence. I took a deep breath and a sip of water and unpacked my lunch. Then a knock came at the office door, rapid and urgent. I looked up at the doorknob and reluctantly leaned over to open it. Maybe it was the closing manager looking for her keys. I pulled the door open and saw my opening associate standing there. I was confused; his shift ended thirty minutes ago.

"Hey, man, what's up?" I asked. I had to tilt my head way back to look up at him. He was tall and thin. A black T-shirt hung off his skinny frame. His hands were covered in tattoos. He stepped halfway into the office, keeping the door ajar with his body.

He launched into a story about how his dad died in a car accident, and he was trying to figure out what to do next. He was in his mid-twenties but alone in this somewhat unfamiliar state—he'd recently moved here. He spoke quickly with a heavy Southern drawl, so I had to listen closely. I was trying to put the pieces together.

"Did this just happen? When? When did you find out? How?" I asked.

He spoke a mile-a-minute. He rambled without punctuation, a stream of consciousness.

I stood up, grabbed an extra chair for him and kicked the door closed. I pushed my lunch aside, as well as my exhaustion. I listened. I gave him space. I answered any questions I could. I didn't look at my watch. Time no longer mattered. Neither did my food or the sales floor. Everything else faded like a fog had rolled in and nestled around us. At that moment, he was the only person in my life.

Leading is a Privilege

I can't tell you how honored I am that he came to talk to me that day. It means he felt safe in my presence and trusted me. I only told one other leader because I knew she'd keep it confidential. I needed another leader in the building to understand his situation.

This wasn't the first time I sat in the office with a team member, listening closely to a massive life upheaval, and it wouldn't be the last. Sometimes as leaders our job is to shut the door, push aside our lunch, and listen. Nothing else matters—not metrics, not selling, not the business.

Yes, we lead teams, and our job is to generate positive results for our company. But remember you're leading humans, and people are dealing with a complex personal life.

Leading is a privilege. Hold space for people when they need it.

Hey, I’m Kit. I spent two decades leading retail teams and I now write about Leadership, Retail, Web3, and Business.

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