Leading with Love!

When I first started a leadership role, I noticed that employees seemed overly stressed and the work environment was not where it needed to be. There were a few personalities that were less than stellar and created an unhealthy work environment that was often tense and confrontational. As I continued to observe daily, I knew immediately that I had to make some changes. Although it took a while, I had to address some of the toxic personalities and make some changes to create an environment that was productive and bought out the best in my team and myself as well. At one point, I said to my employees to be patient with me as I will work to address these issues. I also remember saying to my employees, “Shame on me as a leader if I don’t address these issues.” 

Over the next couple of the years, I had to make some staff changes and adjusted workloads and responsibilities. Additionally, I worked to create a culture that was more open and collaborative-where people felt like they were valued and appreciated. We created an environment where they could leverage their gifts and could take risk to foster innovation. I wanted a cohesive team in a loving environment that allowed failure while providing grace to move forward.

three years later, I had a meeting with my team where we reflected on improvements over the last three years and one thing that got my attention was when one of my employees said, “I used to have anxiety just thinking about going to work on Mondays and now that has gone away!” She then went on to say that she now feels like she works in a healthy work environment. I attribute this primarily to hiring a good team and providing them the space and tools to succeed, but more importantly on being a leader who endeavors to lead with kindness and love.

Being kind does not mean that you are so nice that you have no backbone and are simply a people pleaser, but quite the contrary. When you lead with love you can have high expectations and tough conversations, but it is all done in the right spirit. You do not scream, holler, or criticize your team, instead you are able to connect, support and model the way for them. You make a conscious effort to make them feel valued, appreciated, and empowered. You also are not afraid to address toxicity as you know that it is not good for your employees or business.

In my many years in the corporate sector and last six in the nonprofit world, I have seen a mix of good and bad leadership. The good examples were the leaders who were kind and supportive, but also were able to bring out the best in me as we work toward meeting shared visons and goals.

I unfortunately can recall one leader who did not lead with love. She was a micromanager who always criticized and controlled and tried to mold us to be just like her. I did not find this approach very motivational and empowering She was exceedingly difficult to work for and I was probably more excited than she was when she retired.

I endeavor to be a leader who leads with love. A leader who is kind, inspires and challenges his employees to realize their full potential while meeting or exceeding the organizational goals/objectives. A servant leader who creates an environment where my team knows that I have their backs, even if when we have tough conversations and do not always agree. At the end of the day, they know that we are on the same team, and can trust my integrity and decisions because I lead them with love.

One of my favorite leadership quotes is from leadership guru John Maxwell, “You don’t have to lead the people you love but must love the people you lead.” This quote does not mean that you will like every employee, as that is impossible. However, they should know that you will serve with integrity and kindness and do your best to meet their needs when possible.

” When your employees know you care about them, they will knock down walls for you!”

According to [i]Psychology Today there is research that shows that kind leaders are more effective They have been shown to increase morale, retention, productivity and reduce stress. Not only does leading with love sound good but is also good for the bottom line!

If you are a leader who is selfish, harsh, screams, manipulates, dominates, and controls, you may need a change of heart. If that is not possible, you can be kind just because it is pragmatic or maybe consider a job where you are not in a leadership role.

What can you do to be more kind as a leader and lead with love?

10 Keys to Leading with Love!

1.     Integrity

Integrity is essential to any leader; it almost feels trite to list. Moreover, there are still many leaders who do not lead with integrity. Integrity is not just what you say, but what you do. Modeling and living the values speaks louder than just reciting the corporate creed. When you only give lip service to integrity, you lose your power as an effective leader.

2.     Vulnerability

If you want to build greater trust and connectivity with your team, you must let them get to know you (with healthy boundaries of course). You should not only share your successes, but also your failures. In taking the risk to be vulnerable, it brings greater connectivity to the team and they will know and trust you more as well as learn from some of your mistakes. I will admit that it takes courage, but it has worked well for me.

3.     Apologize

Apologizing is not always easy, but I have had to learn as a leader to acknowledge when I have offended my employees and apologized to them. Recently, I realized that I had offended a team member and had to acknowledge how I made her feel. In doing so, we continue to create a healthy and productive work environment. When you are too proud to apologize for mistakes, your team and organization will suffer.

4.     Listen

I do not profess to be the best listener in the world, but I do my best to listen to my team. Listening may not mean that I do everything they say. However, I make every effort to hear them out. Listening has resulted in improving my leadership and improving the performance of my organization. Good leaders not only hear their people but actively listen to them. You do not learn much while your mouth is moving!

5.     Extend Grace

If you are a leader who challenges your team, then you need to give them the space to fail. These failures are opportunities to learn new things and foster innovation. If your employees are afraid to make one wrong move because of your wrath, it will not allow them to thrive, learn and grow. It will cause them to lose confidence, play it safe and maybe even make more mistakes because of their fear of you!

6.     Challenge

Kind leaders are willing to challenge their employees and the process. Leaders who love always expect the best from their team. Their employees often deliver because they build confidence, and their employees are often inspired to believe they can achieve what is expected. Kind leaders are willing to challenge the status quo and process as they realize that mediocrity is not an option. They are committed to excellence and will not let anything stop them from creating a thriving organization and culture.

7.     Invest in People

When you love someone, you want to see them win and succeed. Leaders who love endeavor to find resources to help their employees thrive and grow. Yes, it benefits the organization, but kind leaders are servant leaders who care about their people and create opportunities for them to become the best versions of themselves and are well positioned to make a positive impact on the organization. This could include training, coaching and continued education.

8.     Celebrate

Good leaders celebrate when goals are met, and milestones are achieved. It may be something as simple as recognizing their accomplishment in front of others or having a formal celebration. In any event when you see good behavior make sure you recognize it. There is no greater motivator than positive reinforcement

9.     Courageous Conversations

As a parent of 3 sons, I love my children, but just because I love them does not mean that I do not have tough conversations. I must correct behavior and broach tough topics. These courageous conversations go both ways. A team member may need to share something with me that I may not like either. When you have these conversations, focus on addressing their behavior while at the same time affirming who they are. They call it The Who and the Do! Check out my YouTube video!

?

10.  Show Compassion

As a leader there are times when we must be tough and make tough decision, but that does not negate our responsibility to be kind. I can sense when my employees are having a bad day or that something is on their minds and I make sure that I acknowledge how they are feeling. I let them know that my door is open, and I am willing to listen. I respect boundaries and am never a therapist, but they know that they have a coach who is there to support them. As grandma used to say, “People do not care how much you know, until they know how much they care.” Treat people the way they want to be treated.

These ten keys to leading with love are not exhaustive, however they are principles that I have used successfully in my own leadership. They have empowered me to create healthy, productive, and highly performing teams. Several key stakeholders once told me that my team is probably the best that the organization has ever had, and my response was that it is no accident!

Leading with love is not easy. You will sometimes fall short and that is OK, but you must be committed and intentional. When you make the decision to be a kind leader who leads with love, there is no limit to what is possible for you and the people you are privileged to serve!

-Make today great!

 Remember, Greatness Awaits You!

If you like this article...please share with your network!

For more motivation/inspiration or to subscribe to my page...please visit my website: www.seeds2fruitmotivation

To subscribe to my YouTube Channel click on link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI-LX3j-YfdImK9OPt_eXSA

Reference Article:

[i] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/vitality/201807/can-being-kind-make-you-better-boss?amp

@2021 all rights reserved by Carlos T. Carter