Leading with joy: Practical steps for women leader to achieve happiness

Understanding Happiness in Leadership

As a Holistic Leadership Coach for female senior leaders, I’ve often seen that true career fulfillment and personal happiness are deeply interconnected. Drawing insights from the Harvard Business Review’s Emotional Intelligence series book on Happiness, this article explores how understanding happiness can help women leaders navigate their professional journeys and achieve lasting fulfillment.

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Happiness Isn't the Absence of Negative Feelings

One of the key insights from the book, articulated by Jennifer Moss, is that happiness is not about being cheerful, joyous, and content all the time. There’s a common misconception that to be happy, one must always have a smile on their face. True happiness encompasses a full range of emotions and includes the ability to reframe negative experiences.

During a particularly painful period, I lost both of my beloved parents within four months. This experience was deeply sorrowful and challenging. However, after allowing myself time to grieve and reflect, I emerged stronger. I learned to reframe their loss as a celebration of their beautiful and loving lives. This reframing is a critical aspect of finding strength and meaning even in our darkest moments.

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Self-Awareness: The First Step to Happiness

The journey to happiness begins with self-awareness. Self-awareness involves understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and motives. For women leaders, this means taking a step back and reflecting on what truly makes them happy.

Self-awareness is more than just recognizing your feelings; it's about understanding the deeper drivers behind those emotions. It involves a comprehensive introspection where you examine your life’s patterns, identify triggers that impact your mood, and acknowledge the aspects of your life that bring joy or discontent. For women in leadership, this process is crucial as it helps in aligning personal values with professional goals.

Self-awareness also requires courage and honesty. It involves confronting uncomfortable truths about oneself and being willing to make necessary changes. This process can be challenging but is essential for personal growth and long-term happiness. Engaging in regular practices such as journaling, meditation, and seeking feedback can significantly enhance self-awareness.

One example from my coaching experience involved a senior executive who, despite her impressive career achievements, felt a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. Through self-awareness, she realized that her true passion lay in mentoring and developing young talent rather than climbing the corporate ladder. This insight led her to shift her focus, taking on roles that aligned with her passion, ultimately leading to greater happiness and fulfillment.

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The Link Between Happiness and Leadership

Happiness directly impacts our ability to lead effectively by fostering positive relationships, enhancing self-awareness, and promoting resilience. Leaders who understand and cultivate happiness build and maintain strong, positive relationships both professionally and personally. These relationships are a significant source of support, satisfaction, and joy. By understanding and managing emotions, leaders can navigate challenges with resilience, reducing stress and preventing burnout. This promotes a sense of well-being and balance. Self-awareness contributes to a strong sense of self, boosting confidence and self-esteem. This, in turn, enhances overall happiness and effectiveness as a leader. Understanding and aligning with one’s core values and passions leads to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven career and life.

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The Foundation of Happiness

Understanding the foundational elements of happiness is crucial for women leaders seeking lasting fulfillment. Martin Seligman, an American psychologist and former president of the American Psychological Association, introduced the PERMA model as a framework for understanding and cultivating happiness. The PERMA model encompasses five essential elements:

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1. Positive Emotion: Experiencing joy, gratitude, and contentment in daily life. To apply this, make a habit of acknowledging and savoring positive experiences. Keep a gratitude journal where you note things you’re thankful for each day.

2. Engagement: Being deeply involved and absorbed in activities, often losing track of time. Identify activities that engage you fully, whether it’s work-related tasks that challenge you or hobbies that you’re passionate about. Allocate regular time to these activities to foster a state of flow.

3. Relationships: Building and maintaining strong, supportive connections with others. Invest time in building meaningful relationships. Schedule regular catch-ups with friends and family, and foster a supportive work environment by practicing active listening and empathy.

4. Meaning: Pursuing a higher purpose and finding significance in what you do. Reflect on what gives your life purpose. This could be through your work, volunteer activities, or personal projects. Align your daily activities with your values and purpose to enhance your sense of meaning.

5. Accomplishments/Achievements: Setting and achieving goals that give a sense of pride and fulfillment. Set realistic, challenging goals and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This will help you build momentum and maintain a positive outlook.

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Conclusion: Embracing Happiness for Lasting Fulfillment

Understanding and cultivating happiness is a powerful tool for women leaders seeking to navigate their careers and achieve lasting fulfillment. By enhancing self-awareness, building strong relationships, and aligning with core values and passions, leaders can create a fulfilling and purpose-driven professional and personal life.

Remember, the journey to happiness begins with understanding and managing your emotions. Embrace the principles of happiness, and you will find that true happiness is not just a destination but a way of being, enriching every aspect of your life and career. True happiness includes contentment, well-being, and the emotional flexibility to experience a full range of emotions, enabling us to rebound from adversity and find meaning and joy in our everyday lives.

???? I'm Paula de Keijzer, your Holistic Leadership Coach.

?? With my holistic approach to leadership, I empower female senior executives in shaping a career that sparks a life rich in purpose, fulfillment, and lasting legacy that resonates both professionally and personally.

I've had the pleasure of working with individuals and teams for the last 30 years, guiding them towards their full potential, and achieving holistic success. My diverse experience span across living and working in 12 countries over 4 continents, exposing me to a many different cultures and working environments. This rich tapestry of global experience has equipped me with unique insights and strategies, which I am excited to share with you. Now, it's your turn to embark on a transformative journey with me

Ready to start your journey? Connect with me, and let's embark on this path to purposeful and fulfilling leadership. ?

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