Leading with Gratitude: A Blueprint for Connection and Growth

The Rock That Changed the Conversation

"What do you think this rock has seen across its lifetime?" It’s not every day you’re asked to hold a rock and consider its story. Yet, for Chris Schembra, this seemingly odd question from his mentor, Tony Lo Bianco, was the spark for a profound lesson in curiosity, empathy, and connection. The exercise wasn’t about geology—it was about cultivating the mindset to look beyond the surface, ask meaningful questions, and engage with the world on a deeper level.

This approach to life shaped Chris’s journey, establishing him as a champion for human connection in an age dominated by technology-fueled isolation. It’s the same perspective he shares in his Wall Street Journal bestselling book, Gratitude Through Hard Times, which challenges individuals to rethink the meaning of success. His message is clear: gratitude, empathy, and connection aren’t just niceties—they are essential skills for navigating today’s personal and professional challenges.

Chris’s ideas, inspired by personal stories and backed by data, remind us that the road to leadership and fulfillment starts with small but powerful actions. From sharing a meal to expressing heartfelt gratitude, he’s found that these principles can transform not just individual lives, but entire organizations. At the heart of his philosophy is the belief that soft skills—often dismissed as secondary—are actually the hard skills we need most in our interconnected world.

The Foundation of Connection

Connection is more than proximity—it’s about building trust, fostering collaboration, and understanding the unique stories that shape us. Chris Schembra ?? ’s journey into the power of connection began with an unlikely mentor, Tony Lo Bianco, whose unconventional lessons taught him to value depth over formality.

Tony Lo Bianco, a celebrated actor and mentor, is known for his deep curiosity and unique approach to teaching life lessons, inspiring those around him to look beyond the surface and embrace meaningful connection. Tony’s philosophy was simple: ask questions that matter. During one of their first encounters, Tony placed a rock in front of Chris and asked, “What do you think this rock has seen across its lifetime?” At first, Chris was puzzled—how could a rock’s history matter? But the exercise wasn’t about the rock. It was about slowing down, seeing the world through a different lens, and embracing curiosity as a pathway to deeper understanding.

This mindset aligns with the philosophy of Ubuntu, a South African proverb meaning, “I am because we are.” Chris referenced the Boston Celtics’ 2008 championship season, where head coach Doc Rivers used Ubuntu to unite a team of superstars with differing egos and backgrounds. The players embraced the idea that individual success thrives within collective unity. It wasn’t just about basketball—it was about humanity.

Both Tony’s mentorship and the Celtics’ success illustrate a universal truth: meaningful connection requires intentional effort. Whether it’s pausing to ask a thoughtful question or rallying a team around shared values, connection starts with a willingness to look beyond ourselves.

The Transformative Power of Gratitude

Gratitude is often dismissed as a fleeting emotion, a quick thank-you tossed out in passing. But for Chris Schembra, gratitude is a transformative practice with the power to reshape lives and build enduring connections. His journey into gratitude began with a single question: “Who is one person in your life you’ve never thanked enough?”

This question, first posed at one of his now-famous gratitude dinner parties, sparked a global movement. The concept was simple: Chris invited small groups of people—friends, colleagues, even strangers—into his home for a meal. At these dinners, the food was merely a backdrop for meaningful conversation. Attendees shared their gratitude, often discovering connections they hadn’t realized they needed.

The results were profound. Guests who were initially strangers left feeling closer than lifelong friends. This practice of expressing gratitude not only strengthened individual bonds but also revealed a truth about human interaction: gratitude creates space for vulnerability, trust, and belonging.

Gratitude’s impact isn’t just anecdotal—it’s backed by research. Studies show that practicing gratitude:

• Improves trust and collaboration within teams.
• Reduces stress and increases resilience.
• Boosts well-being and satisfaction in both personal and professional settings.

Chris’s gratitude dinners grew from a single gathering to a global phenomenon. Through his signature gratitude question, he created a framework that scaled intimacy and connection across diverse groups. Over time, his events reached thousands of people—from firehouses to Times Square, even to the Masters golf tournament.

Empathy: The Missing Link in Today’s World

Empathy is often described as the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes. For Chris, it’s more than that—it’s the cornerstone of meaningful connection and a tool for navigating an increasingly complex and polarized world.

At his events, Chris uses a simple exercise: “What’s one word that honestly describes how you feel right now?” This question opens the door to a deeper understanding of others and teaches active listening. By creating space for honest expression, leaders can build trust, foster collaboration, and uncover new insights.

Empathy isn’t about fixing—it’s about understanding. By asking thoughtful questions and listening deeply, leaders can create environments where individuals feel safe, seen, and supported.

Practical Applications in Leadership

Gratitude and empathy aren’t abstract ideals—they’re practical tools that transform workplace culture. Chris suggests:

• Starting meetings with positive momentum using questions like, “What are you most proud of in the last two weeks?”
• Encouraging cross-functional collaboration to leverage the power of weak ties.
• Practicing slow listening to fully understand others’ needs and perspectives.
• Making gratitude a habit through regular recognition and appreciation.

These small but consistent actions create a culture of trust, innovation, and growth.

Chris’s Call to Action

Chris’s regret at not expressing gratitude to his mentor before his passing is a reminder that opportunities to show appreciation are fleeting. His challenge to readers is simple: “Who is one person in your life you’ve never thanked enough?”

By committing to acts of gratitude and empathy, we not only strengthen our own connections but also inspire others to do the same.

Conclusion: Building a Legacy of Connection

Chris Schembra’s journey teaches us that gratitude, empathy, and connection are essential tools for navigating today’s challenges. These practices, though simple, have the power to transform teams, organizations, and communities. As Chris often says, “Gratitude changes our perspective, and our perspective changes our reality.”

The question is, what reality will you create?

#GratitudeLeadership #EmpathyInBusiness #HumanConnection #WorkplaceCulture #LeadershipSkills #PersonalGrowth

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