Leading by giving

There is one story I have been keeping locked up in my mental reservoir for quite some time, it’s the story of my upbringing. Not for any reason other than waiting for the right time to share something deeply personal. Something that will make a lot of sense as to the reason why I lead with giving and have a passion for social mobility. 

Born to immigrant parents, a Colombian mother and Moroccan father, I inherited two very different cultures but I would only come to truly know one of them. When I was 12 months old my Dad walked out on our family and my Mum raised my brother and me. We lived in an affluent area, but we lived in social housing (a council flat). My mum maintained numerous jobs in order to keep us clothed and fed, but there were many times when rice and eggs were our dinner.

The above will come as a shock to many of you, even more so those that know me in person because my accent is often described as ‘posh’, my clothes ‘expensive’ and I live in a ‘nice’ neighborhood - from that people draw the conclusion that I’m from a privileged background.

I’ve stopped fighting back when people attribute those things to me, but over time I’ve come to the realization through sharing this part of my story at social mobility events, that this is actually what makes me who I am and I shouldn’t hide it.

Despite growing up in those circumstances I was instilled with a strong sense of the importance of looking after those who were less fortunate than us. For example, if we saw a homeless person on the street, my mum would go and buy food and a hot drink for them. As an adult, I have taken a lot of those ideals into my everyday life and into everything I do. 

When your foundation is nothing you know that ‘something’ means everything.

Why is giving so important? 

You only have to take a look at some of the happiest countries in the world to know that we get our priorities wrong in the western world. Colombia has been nominated as one of the happiest countries on numerous occasions but whenever I go there to visit my family I see vast landscapes of poverty. However, if you go into peoples’ houses they will feed you their last grain of rice, even if it means they won’t eat. 

Yet here we are as a modern society, a big WorldWideWeb of people finding ourselves clambering over each other to get ‘something’. Shoving each other out of the way, taking from each other just to get ahead. Instead of offering our neighbours or colleagues help, we are more divided, more isolated and disconnected than ever before. 

Unfortunately, now it is only in the moments of tragedy that we unite, that we help, that we give.

If I could share one key factor in my success, it’s the ability to start with ‘giving’, without expecting anything in return. 

I’ve always been good at connecting people, creating business opportunities and networking, mainly because I didn’t set out to gain anything from starting new relationships. Instead I relished in the joy of being the enabler of new opportunities for others. In changing the trajectory of a person’s life through one simple introduction, I received something which money couldn’t buy - personal fulfillment. 

At times I’ve gotten the balance wrong in my own life, trying to give too much, at the detriment of my own mental health. I’ve let people take advantage of my giving nature, and at times I’ve even questioned if this is the way to run a business. But despite that I don’t regret all the time I have given to people along the way, because at the heart of giving, is personal connection and a sense of belonging.

Something that has taught me so much has been my involvement with #LinkedInLocal, a movement I’m a founding member of. We encourage LinkedIn connections to take their conversations offline and meet on a human level. In the business world we have become accustomed to trying to ‘get’ something from someone, especially at networking events. So, at our #LinkedInLocal events we lead with giving instead!

I often get asked if there is any monetary gain behind it and the answer is no. Everything is not-for-profit, it’s been a labour of love and one of ultimate giving - but not just mine, hundreds and hundreds of hosts worldwide who joined to give their time to the same cause - helping, empowering, and supporting others. 

Perhaps we have forgotten how to give? Not in huge terms, but in the little things - giving our time, giving our care, giving our attention, and giving of ourselves.

Building relationships isn’t hard. The problem is that we exist in a society where everything is transactional, focused on ROI, and we’ve forgotten how to truly connect. Ironically technology has connected more of us than ever before. Yet we are still disconnected from each other, separated from each other – recognising only our differences, instead of our shared humanity. 

Now when you take time to speak to someone, when you manage to not take out your phone for an entire meeting - that’s what people remember. Being present. Being in the moment and truly listening. Not just listening but hearing the person sat opposite you. 

We work in places that may not ‘ban’ bringing your ‘whole self to work’ but they will frown upon on it. Giving people the space to be themselves is genuinely appreciated.  Asking each other how we truly are and being interested in the answer, is a rarity these days. 

We have forgotten how to communicate, how to connect to one another, and how to create together.

One question I’ve frequently been asked over the past year of being a LinkedIn Top Voice, on podcasts, interviews or simply in conversations, are my views on leadership. The answer is simple; from eighteen I set myself the goal to be the CEO of a company. It was a goal I became fiercely attached to until my quarter-life crisis. But what I’ve come to see since then is that you don’t need a fancy title to be a leader. You need a mission, a message and the balls to be able to say it out loud for others to hear.

And whilst 2018 has been the year of raising voices, let this future year be one of reminding ourselves what divides us, what connects us, and what we can do to give back and help each other thrive.

Lastly thank you to all of you that have at one point another this year have either read my articles and posts or watched my videos, I appreciate you, you have given me your greatest gift, your time and attention.

My LocalX team that have been absolute rocks: Anna McAfee, Ryan Troll, Manu Goswami, Nicole Johnston, Andrew Griffiths, Greg Caillol, Quddus Porshafie, Marc Webb, Marcus Jamieson-Pond, Javier De Torre. This is just the beginning.

My #LinkedInLocal family: Our hosts all around the world, you are way too many to list now, but your giving of time, knowledge and love for the cause continues to inspire me every single day.

My clients that even though they've come to work with me, have taught me so much this year or those that have given me opportunities beyond my wildest dreams: Marlon de Cruz, Leigh Howes, Sandra Thompson, Karen Pagington

My friends and confidantes for always picking up the phone in my times of need: Calvin Niles, Mari Williams, Danny Seals, Andy Webster, Roberta Fusco, Mark Williams, Simon Chan (congrats).

Lastly but most importantly, my mum who instilled her values of giving in me and my now (editor in residence) boyfriend Joe Webster who I'm incredibly lucky came into my life this year.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart x