Leading From Within: The Power of Knowing Yourself

“Mastering oneself is true power.” – Lao Tzu

In a world where success is often measured by titles, achievements and outward symbols of accomplishment, it’s easy to lose sight of who we truly are. We become so absorbed in our professional roles that we forget to ask a vital question: Who am I beyond my work?

As a life and leadership coach, I’ve worked with many successful individuals who, despite their accomplishments, struggle with defining themselves outside of their job titles. When asked, “Who are you?” they often respond with their professional identity. But beneath this response lies a deeper truth—a need to understand and connect with their true selves.

The Role of Fear and Impostor Syndrome in Self-Knowledge

Fear is a powerful force that can shape our lives in profound ways. Often, it manifests as impostor syndrome, where we doubt our abilities and fear being exposed as a "fraud" despite evidence of our competence. This fear isn’t something we’re born with; it’s learned over time as we internalize external expectations and societal pressures.

Impostor syndrome can create a barrier to self-knowledge. When we’re constantly worried about being “found out,” we focus more on maintaining a fa?ade than on understanding who we are at our core. This disconnect prevents us from leading from within and living a life that is truly aligned with our values and desires.

The ancient Stoics, who were deeply committed to understanding the nature of the self, remind us that true leadership begins within. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, famously wrote in his Meditations, "Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one." This call to action is a powerful reminder that our true identity is not found in external labels but in how we live our lives and align with our inner values.

The Power of Leading from Within

Leadership is not just about guiding others; it starts with leading yourself. The Harvard Business Review highlights that self-aware leaders are not only more effective but also more fulfilled. This self-awareness doesn’t come from external achievements; it comes from understanding your values, passions and purpose—those inner virtues that the Stoics revered.

"What we know matters, but who we are matters more." - Brené Brown

However, fear & limiting beliefs can undermine this process. When we doubt our own worth, we may overcompensate by chasing external validation—titles, promotions and accolades. But as Seneca, another Stoic philosopher, taught, "The greatest wealth is to live content with little." This isn’t about rejecting ambition but about recognizing that true fulfillment comes from within. When you lead from within, you make decisions that reflect your true self, rather than being swayed by the shifting tides of fear, self-doubt or even the opinions of others.

Quantum physics, too, offers insights that align with Stoic wisdom. The observer affects the observed, meaning the energy you bring to your life shapes your reality. When you are grounded in self-awareness and personal truth, free from the grip of fear or the unknown, you create a life that resonates with who you truly are. This internal alignment is the key to living a fulfilled life, both personally and professionally.

Uncovering Your True Self

Consider the moments when you’re not working—those rare, quiet times when there’s no meeting, no deadline and no task demanding your attention. What do you do with that time? These moments reveal who you are beyond your professional identity.

Impostor syndrome often surfaces in these quiet moments, when the distractions of work fade, and we’re left alone with our thoughts. It’s in these times that fear can creep in, whispering doubts and causing us to question our worth. We might think that because we are not working or busy that we are not worthy or valuable. Insecurities about not doing enough take over. But it’s also in these moments that we have the opportunity to confront these fears and begin the journey of self-discovery.

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - Aristotle

Imagine your life as a ship navigating the vast ocean of existence. Your job is the vessel that carries you forward but your true self is the compass that guides your journey. Without a clear understanding of who you are, you risk drifting aimlessly, allowing external forces to determine your course.

Epictetus, a former slave turned Stoic philosopher, advised, "Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly." This isn’t about putting on a fa?ade but about recognizing your true nature and living in a way that reflects your inner virtues and values. When you know yourself, free from the fears, you lead with authenticity and your life becomes a true expression of who you are.

Aligning with Your Authentic Self

Deepak Chopra teaches that “When you know who you really are, you can shape your life to match your deepest desires.” This idea resonates with the Stoic concept of living according to nature—aligning your actions with your true self and the natural order of the world.

Seneca once said, "No man can be happy who does not think himself so." This suggests that happiness and fulfillment come not from external circumstances but from an internal state of being—a state that is consistent and aligned with your true nature.

It is so common to hear most people talk about how they dread a new work week. They live for Fridays and Saturdays. If you find that starting a new workweek feels uncomfortable or even disheartening, it may be a sign that the person you are on the weekends—the one who is more relaxed, creative, fun-loving and authentic—is not fully integrated into your weekday life. This resistance can create a feeling of dissonance, where you're living two separate lives, neither of which fully reflects who you truly are. Over time, I have seen this cause immense tension in a person's life where they feel depleted when they get home because they have held up a front at work... and it can even affect their relationships.

On the other hand, if you feel a sense of continuity between your weekend and weekday activities, it suggests that you are living more in alignment. You’re not compartmentalizing your life into work and play but instead, weaving your authentic self into most aspects of your life. This alignment fosters integrity, a key Stoic virtue and creates a seamless transition from weekend to workweek, where you feel more of an inner peace with who you are all week long, no matter what the outside circumstances reflect.

Epictetus teaches us, "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." This principle reminds us that our actions, whether on the weekend or during the workweek, should be a reflection of who we truly are. Are we living in integrity with who we truly are? When you know yourself and live in alignment with that knowledge, there is not such large divide between your work and personal life—only a more consistent, authentic expression of your true self.

The Price of Survival: A Personal Reflection

Growing up, I witnessed firsthand the incredible strength and resilience of my mother. She raised three girls on her own, working tirelessly to provide for us and ensure we had what we needed. Her days were filled with work, worry and the constant demands of keeping our family afloat. She was in survival mode, doing everything in her power to keep us alive and well.

But in the midst of all that giving, there was something missing—something she couldn’t afford to focus on at the time: herself.

My mother was so dedicated to our survival that she never took the time to truly get to know who she was outside of being our mother and provider. Her identity was wrapped up in her responsibilities and she rarely had the space to explore her own desires, dreams, or even her own needs. When we all grew up and left the house, she faced a profound struggle with her identity. Without us to care for, she found herself asking, "Who am I now?"

This is a challenge many of us can relate to, especially in the fast-paced, achievement-driven world we live in. We work hard to collect a paycheck, pay the bills and take care of our families. But in doing so, we often put our own needs and our own identities on the back burner. We tell ourselves that there’s no time to slow down, that we must keep going for the sake of those who depend on us.

Yet, what I’ve learned from watching my mother’s journey is that slowing down is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. When we take the time to slow down and connect with who we truly are, we actually speed up in the areas that matter most: alignment, fulfillment and purpose. Slowing down allows us to realign with our true selves, to reassess our direction and to ensure that we’re living a life that reflects our deepest values.

Even if you’re stepping into a new chapter of life—whether it’s becoming an empty nester, changing careers or pursuing a long-held dream—knowing who you are is essential to your mental health, inner peace and self-love. When we operate solely in survival mode, as my mother did, we risk depleting ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We give and give until there’s nothing left and in the process, we lose sight of who we are and what truly brings us joy.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Taking time for yourself, to understand and align with your true self, is not an act of greed—it’s an act of responsibility. It’s about ensuring your future longevity, building a legacy that reflects your authentic self and experiencing the joy that comes from living in alignment with who you truly are.

So I urge you to take a moment to reflect: Are you giving so much of yourself that you’ve lost touch with who you are? Are you running on empty, simply surviving rather than thriving? If so, know that you have the power to change that narrative. Investing in yourself—can transform your life in ways you never imagined.

Don’t wait until you’re depleted to take action. The time to align with your true self is now. By doing so, you not only enrich your own life but also create a foundation for a legacy of joy, fulfillment and purpose that will impact generations to come.

A Call to Reflect and Realign

To recap, the journey to leading from within begins with a question that the Stoics themselves might have asked: Who am I, really? The answer to this question holds the power to transform your life, enabling you to lead with authenticity, build deeper relationships and create a legacy that reflects your true self.

If you find yourself struggling with this question, if fear and impostor syndrome are holding you back or you know you would like to grow your confidence in self, I invite you to book a strategy call with me. Together, we’ll explore the depths of who you are, beyond the titles and roles and chart a course toward a life that is aligned with your deepest values and desires.

Remember the wisdom of the Stoics: The path to fulfillment begins not with seeking external success but with cultivating the inner virtues that define who you truly are. Let’s embark on this journey together. I haven't been on this Earth long enough to know everything or claim to but after amazing mentorship of individuals who spent 60+ years understanding and studying human development, I have a framework that can help you get unstuck and grow into your next level. Book a strategy call with me today, and let’s begin this transformative journey together.

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Here's to your continued success and alignment,

Gitzy | Life and Leadership Coaching For Professionals

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