Leading from the Passenger Seat

70 miles per hour doesn’t feel that fast until you’re doing it at night on residential streets with flashing red and blue lights on the roof of your car. I had done this run hundreds of times before, but this time was different. Everything felt much faster. I could feel my heart racing and my adrenaline dumping into my bloodstream. I yanked on my seat belt, making it tighter, and focused on what I would need to do when I arrived on the scene.

Still too fast. Instinctively, I extended my right leg to smash the brake pedal and slow down.?

The pedal wasn’t there.?

A flash of panic surged through me and I quickly remembered: I’m a passenger. My brand-new police recruit officer was speeding us to the shooting call. Although he was driving, I still needed to get us to the call safely. I had him slow down, take the corners a little less aggressively, and I could see his hands relax on the steering wheel. Thankfully, it worked out.?

Some of the most harrowing moments of my police career came while I was a passenger in a squad car. Field Training Officers out there; nod along with me. Few things in this life are as scary as riding code with a brand-new police officer, hopped up on adrenaline, Mountain Dew, and FNG-ness. If you know, you know.?

I’ve thought a lot about those nights as an FTO as I’ve recently begun teaching my 16-year-old daughter how to drive. Here’s the thing: at this point, she’s smoking the recruits.?

To be fair, we started very slowly: huge parking lots, middle of the day, no radio, flashing lights, or Armed Subject calls. We started the car, turned it off. Put it in drive, put it in park. Move forward 15 feet, stop, do it all again. Baby steps for my baby girl.?

In recent weeks, we’ve moved away from the parking lot to do real driving on real roads with other drivers and at different times of the day. She’s progressing along just as she should, and I’m less nervous sitting in the right seat than I was initially. I don’t even reach for the imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side anymore.?

All of this teaching brings back the fonder memories of my own field training, and also that of my time as an FTO. I really enjoy coaching. It’s why I spent 6 years as a high school swim coach and am in my fourth season as a youth baseball coach. Spending my time and energy to help people develop into a better version of themselves is remarkably rewarding. Coaching my daughter as she learns how to navigate the world, literally, is something I’m obviously vested in.?

How do you teach?

During our last training drive, I had opportunity to think about my teaching style (at least as a parent) and how I wanted to do that. Not surprisingly, a lot of common themes emerged:

• Articulated vision about the upcoming training session
• Clear instruction prior to expected action
• Real-Time Feedback with Explanation
• Allowing for variance of outcome as a training tool
• Bottomless Patience
• Hostage Negotiator-level vocal tones
• Progressive levels of complexity and challenge

Looking back at these, they’re really cornerstones for any coaching. My 11-year-old boys on the baseball team benefit from the same methods. Well, maybe not the vocal tones. I yell at them and give them a LOT of crap, and they reciprocate. That’s important too. ?

As she drives, we talk about what it means to be a motorist. What are her responsibilities as a driver? What sort of driver does she want to be out in the world? Familiar superlatives sneak in:?

• Considerate
• Safe
• Alert
• Purposed
• Decisive
• Prepared

Good attributes for anything, not just driving.?

I won’t claim to be a world-class coach or teacher. I’m no genius when it comes to learning methodology or pedagogy. What I can offer, however, is investment. The people that I choose to lead and teach have my attention and dedication. I care about them, and their success, in that order.?

Those themes above transfer to more than coaching youth sports or training new drivers. They can apply to how you lead your team or how an effective organization operates.?

The Other Side

Just take a look at the opposite of these themes and superlatives and ask yourself if this is what you see in your organization:?

• No vision
• No clear training outcomes?
• Retaliatory discipline
• Volatile management
• No margin for growth or development

Work done by employees is:?

• Inconsiderate
• Unsafe
• Seemingly random or without purpose
• Ineffective

The unfortunate reality is that these things are happening in most organizations, and at most levels. Why??

There probably isn’t ONE root cause for all of that. It’s likely to be a combination of factors stemming from poor management, training, ineffective leadership, culture, external pressure, politics and policy, the list goes on.?

I saw some of this as a police supervisor. Some things I could address, others were much more of an uphill battle. I was resolved, however, to demonstrate my commitment to my team and my co-workers. Just as I am invested now in the people I mentor and coach, I was invested in my officers. I’ve done the same in my current role as I’ve mentored working professionals.?

When I’ve had opportunity to do this, my teams perform better. They care about each other and their intrinsic motivation builds. I want to create situations where my people can build their own success. We develop trust, we operate more on dopamine than cortisol. It’s a much better mix.?

So what can you do??

None of these things change overnight, or quickly at all. It takes time, inertia, and baby steps. It’s the same as teaching a new driver or a new recruit officer. They need to know where you’re going and how you’re going to get them there. They need to know that you support them and will help them achieve what they’re striving for. Much has been written about culture change, so I won’t launch into that, but for me, it comes down to this:?

What will you do to effective positive change and growth in your organization, in a management role or not??

Consider that you might have to do it from the passenger seat

I’m slowly gearing myself up to have my daughter drive her first miles on the freeway near our home. It’s probably the most difficult driving she’ll have to do in her training. With that experience comes a notable increase across what I call the “Big Three” - Time, Complexity, and Consequence.?

Everything happens faster, there is more to take in, and if something does go wrong, the consequences are more severe. And although she’s done very well so far, I’ve resisted the urge to start teaching EVOC techniques or pursuit driving. Maybe someday, in someone else’s car.?

Thank you for reading. Please like, comment, share, and subscribe.?