Leading from the middle

It has been a year now. 365 days in confinement and working from home, this gives a lot of time to think. A few years shy of my retirement, I look back at the path traveled with a sense that I still have so much to accomplish. Somewhat, this craving remains the same as the one I felt when I was 16 or 17, that the world is in my hand and that everything is possible. Along the way, the recurrent themes of my professional life seem to be leadership, startups, women, extraordinary itineraries of ordinary people, poverty, development, connections, changing the course of someone’s life through a conversation.

As I witness the wealth explosion in South East Asia, the rise of social media influencers, and the hundreds of successful “leaders” who fill my LinkedIn or Facebook timelines, I feel at odds and wondering if I have failed instead. Of course, I have done things, others look up at me or feel inspired. A refugee, a PhD, some 30 countries traveled, people mentored, communities helped, three gifted children raised, a meaningful job often envied, events and concerts organized.

But so little time is left to become a millionaire, an influencer, a manager, a business owner, an Ivy League graduate, an activist, a freedom fighter, a writer, a researcher, an artist and so much more. There are people at the top of their game I admire for holding up to their humanist values. On the other side, I have known or worked with so many corrupt officials, empty social influencers, incompetent managers, worthless millionaires, talentless artists. Yes, I feel lost … do I really aspire to this type of greatness?

Below the noise, there is this nagging anguish that I have not honored the past, the grandfather who died of starvation at age 73 in a reeducation camp, the in-laws assassinated in a genocide, the parents who lost all and swallowed their pride, the civilization that has come before us. So many times, when I have the chance to sit down with someone and I listen to their stories, the no grades, the zero followers, the woman sitting in a thatched roof, the refugee, the student, they have often shown me more leadership, more humanity, more generosity that those in power, those with millions views, those with piles of Hermes boxes in their Instagram posts. Looking inwards, I have always been in the middle: middle of three siblings, middle in terms of grades at school or college, middle grade in my job, middle person in facilitating collaboration, middle class. But there is one middle I am so fulfilled with: the middle path.

Buddhists understand what the middle path is, the one that leads us to serenity and freedom from wants. Of course, even if you are good at trying, you will need 547 iterations before you get there (that’s the number of reincarnations that Siddhartha Gautama, founder of Buddhism went through before reaching Buddhahood). What is it, that society is pushing us to always want more, to crave for more money, more cars, more love, more fame, more followers, more power? This makes me think of my grandfather - yes the one who died in the cold mountains of Houaphanh - who wrote at the height of the Indochina war a book advocating for the middle path to bring peace.

Maybe to rationalize my own disappointments, I have come to believe that leadership comes from the middle, those who are like you and I, who are ordinary, who might not achieve fame or millions but who try to attain excellence, who have something to offer to the ones they love, the ones they hate, their community, their organization, their village. In the end, maybe if we have been able to transform one life, just one, then our life was worth living. Heart is also sitting in the middle of our body. Leading with heart is badly needed in an increasingly divisive and sectarian world.

So… this is a manifesto, an invitation to embrace the middle and to believe in the extraordinary power of ordinary people, of the ordinary of our life. We can all lead from the middle, a journey to search for serenity, for positive impact on others’ lives, even if this is of one. Join me in this journey.