Leading in Fear: This is How it Looks

As leaders, we lead teams and are responsible for project execution while respecting standards and deadlines. So, what does it look like when a leader is directed by fear? How would they respond if the delivery and performance of their team member(s) were not as expected?

It is a sequence, an internal dialogue. Let us go inside the head of a leader who is directed by fear and low self-esteem. The first step would be to start self-accusing with thoughts like: "I am not enough; I didn't do enough. I haven't performed well enough. I didn't pay attention to the performance of my team. Maybe the goals and deadlines were unrealistic."

As we are creatures with egos, the internal dialogue will take a different turn for self-protection. The self-talk could look like this:

“If I am honest about what and why this is happening, they will think less of me and use it against me. No one else is honest about this, so why should I be?”

The ego will then be satisfied. With fear now 75% in control, the leader will continue thinking: “I don't care; I don't owe any explanation! They have plenty of issues themselves (team and higher management), and they are not honest about them.”

The leader will then nod in satisfaction, smile, and feel even more secure. The fear is pushing them to build more and more shields around themselves: “Their incompetence is what put me in this situation in the first place! Now that I think about it, I am actually better than them.”

When you, as a leader, are directed by fear, unfortunately, you will tend to protect yourself first, accuse your team members, and create an environment of apprehension, guilt, and fear. All this leads to a lack of motivation among the team and hinders creativity and honesty.

Coaching plays a big role in uncovering those unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and in creating stronger and more authentic, daring leaders.

If you are a leader and you feel that fear is somehow controlling you and your leadership skills, book your free chemistry call, and let us talk about how I can help you.