Leading by example or something else?

I turned my head and saw a glimpse of him watching. In that moment, I became a leader and my job was to lead by example.

 Minutes before we were mom and son laughing and enjoying a Saturday afternoon and soon-to-be yummy lunch at a favorite restaurant. As I turned to get out of the car, she approached me. I smiled and she softly spoke to me….

 “Excuse me.” She said. “I mean no harm to you.”

 I smiled again and nodded my head.

“Do you have any money you could give me? I’ve been out for hours looking for food. I have 2 young kids and I just need to get them some food. I just want twenty dollars to go to Aldi’s and get some bread, some bologna, some cereal and milk. “

 As she spoke to me, our eyes met. We were 2 mothers wanting desperately to take care of our children. We were 2 humans needing to survive. We were the same…in that moment.

 “When people go within and connect themselves, they realize they are connected to the universe and they are connected to all living things.” -Armand Dimele

 I turned my head and saw a glimpse of him watching her and me. He was shaking his head in agreement. I knew in that moment he was the learner and I was the teacher. Leading by example is THE most important lesson we can give others. It is the essence of living life well.

 Son handed me my wallet.

 He watched me grab money.

 He watched me had the money to the mom needing it.

 He watched me hold her hand and wish her Godspeed.

 He watched me offer my prayerful blessings to her and her children.

 He watched and he learned…….to have compassion, to love others, to give when needed, to follow an intention bigger than oneself.

 Actions speak louder than words. Actions speak louder than beliefs. Actions speak louder than rules. Actions speak.

 “You have been created with the ability to change the world. Every single choice you make…Every single action you take…MATTERS. But remember, the converse is also true. Every choice you do not make…Every action you do not take…MATTERS just as much.” -Andy Andrews in The Lost Choice.

 Being a leader means standing alone for reasons aligned to what matters. What matters? It matters to treat people with love and kindness. It matters to do for others. It matters to have compassion for another human being. It matters to say YES to opportunities to show another how it matters.

 I asked him, “What do you think?”

 He replied, “Well I guess you have to believe she will use it for food and not something else.”

 I shook my head and added, “My intention was to give to another human that which was needed. Holding that intention as sacred means I let go of what ifs and focused on why I gave her money. I gave her money literally and as a symbol of loving compassion. It served as a message of hope for her and has a message that she matters. “

 He shook his head like he understood, so I asked him, “Would you have done the same thing?”

 He quietly answered, “Yes.”

 My heart leaped with love. A+ for both of us!!

 He learned and I taught well…..by example.

 Leading by example means you know in your heart WHY you do what you do. You are certain with little to no doubt that doing the right thing is never easy, often feels uncomfortable and will always elevate you to a level you never knew existed.

 Think about this.

 Last summer I watched the USA Women’s Soccer team win the World Cup. It was awe-inspiring to watch. Essentially their win was even more spectacular as I began listening to how they played each game and what technics and strategies they learned and used to bring the success. In order for the team to play well, each of them had to trust the other to do the right thing when the right thing mattered. AND….the right thing mattered EVERY second of each game.

 Each win was a powerful metaphor for leading by example for any educator, parent, manager and individual wanting to live a life well.

 “If we want to change things, we must first change ourselves. If we want to play –if we want to change the world - we must first show up on the field to score.” -Paul Rusesabagina

 Leading by example is an act of showing up in the moment and doing the right thing because it matters. It matters to those watching and learning from us. It matters to our soul that our actions are aligned to the heart of who we are in the present moment.

 So….

 How do you show up and lead by example EVERY day?

 Be YOU

 No masks….No fakeness….No mean stuff. Get real with yourself and figure out who you are and BE that person EVERY day. Be YOU when others are being fake. Be YOU and walk away from drama and toxic energy. Be YOU even when it feels awkward. Be YOU and align EVERY thing you do EVERY day to who you are.

 Feel the LOVE

 Pay attention to those moments when your heart leaps with love. Do more of those actions EVERY chance you get. If your life does not bring those heartfelt moments of love…..create them…..make heart felt moments a requirement EVERY day.

 Say YES

 Find the bigger purpose….the huge mission to conquer. Let it be your guiding force. This is changing the world kind of action. When we allow our eyes to focus on a life’s purpose, our heart will definitely leap with love. Say YES to serving others, helping others, and strengthening relationships. Success comes organically to those who serve a higher purpose.

 Add VALUE

 Every day ask, “Who can I add value to today?” Adding value comes in the form of a compliment, a tangible token of appreciation, a formal regard for good work and quality effort, or a simple act of gratitude. It sounds like, “Thank you for _______.” Make someone else’s day and add value.

 At the heart of it……aligning YOU with your daily actions, recreating heartfelt moments, following the light of a higher purpose and adding to another’s life are powerful ways to lead by example. Why lead by example? IT. IS. THE. ONLY. WAY. TO. LEAD. AND. LIVE. LIFE.

 I DARE YOU – by example, lead well!   by example, live well!   by example, show up for what matters!   by example, be YOU!!

 XOXO,

Kristi

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