Leading with Empathy and Creating a Human-First Workplace

Ayishah Williams is a Director of People & Culture, MBA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP at Sounding Board .? Inspired by her past life experiences and professional experiences in the HR & People Profession, she has embraced a human resources philosophy that emphasizes viewing people as human beings first.

During our conversation, Ayishah spoke about the pandemic’s blurring of the lines between work life and home life, the importance of compassionate leadership, and the value of human connection in the workplace. She gives advice on how organizations can lead with empathy and strive to meet the needs of the whole person, and she shares how her own idea of career success has changed over time.

What is a life experience that has shaped your thinking on work and the workplace?

Being laid off at the beginning of the recession in 2008 helped to shape my thinking tremendously. I had just transitioned into my first managerial role in HR. That was around April, and by November I was laid off. In the months in between, I realized that there was a way to have layoff or workforce reduction conversations in a more thoughtful and compassionate way.?

There’s a way to offer people who are in bad situations kindness and additional resources, even when delivering bad news. With care, you can offer people a softer landing; that didn’t happen for me that time. So, from that point forward, I committed myself to demonstrating a better way to conduct critical people, culture, and operations functions.

It’s a way that isn’t just about layoffs and being the policy police, it’s about truly embracing the human experience and understanding how to be compassionate and empathetic in unhappy situations — and do what’s needed to protect the company. Every person has a story, a background, a reason they show up for work every day, and understanding that is critical to provide people with the support they need, especially during difficult times.

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In your own view, what does it mean to be a human-first leader?

Being a human-first leader means bringing your whole self to the HR world. There are two schools of thought within HR. The original is the policy police type, where HR is completely compartmentalized. You are not a human being – you only act in a human resources role. Being a human-first leader means acknowledging that you are a human being first, an employee of the organization second, and then an HR leader.?

You can be all of those things at once, rather than compartmentalizing them. So, when news of a layoff comes down the pipe, you’re allowed to have human emotions and a shared experience with the employees. But you also know how to transition into the HR leader role and do what’s necessary for your job.

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What is a leadership skill that you think more leaders, both formal and informal, should practice?

Without question, it’s compassion. I heard recently that compassion is empathy in action. Empathy is the feeling, but you have to do more than just feel in this role. You have to be able to apply those feelings into actions that are supportive, considerate, and mindful.

That’s especially important in the tech space because in a startup world, you work very closely with people. Working remotely, you get to know people very intimately.

You see people’s pets and children and spouses, and all these things occurring in the background. Because you know all these things about one another, compassion is key to maintain a professional but 360-degree relationship.

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How can others embrace human-first leadership?

You demonstrate human-first leadership by becoming more self-aware of the connections between people within their workspace. In organizations where people are working remotely, for instance, there tends to be a disconnect. So, it’s even more critical for people to go above and beyond to make personal connections.

It’s no longer acceptable for us to be just coworkers and never cross the line into the personal because these days so many of us are literally living where we work. Therefore, we need to be more understanding of our own biases and our own boundaries. We need to focus on getting to know who people are at their core, and avoid making assumptions about others.

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What should be a leader’s role in fostering more human-first leadership within their own company?

A. It’s important that leaders form mindful connections with others. When you’re managing a team, it’s really important to know who you’re managing and to view them as individuals, despite the fact that you have team goals.

I have three direct reports, and I know a lot about them. When one person who has a toddler is sick, I’m going to assume that the toddler is also sick, because that’s typically what happens, and I’m going to recommend that they take time for themselves. Especially in this climate, leaders need to know the people working for them and exercise empathy and compassion.?

That will be reciprocated when people recognize that they’re being treated kindly in the workplace, and that they’re allowed to have full-on human experiences. They don’t have to feel guilty about taking time off, or cutting their day short, or turning their camera off during a meeting because they’re consoling their child. Today, life experiences often are work experiences, and we have to make sure that we support that.?

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Who is a leader you admire who is creating a better workplace for their people, and what are they doing that others should learn from them?

A. I would definitely identify Lori Mazan (Chief Coaching Officer) and Christine Tao (CEO) Sounding Board’s co-founders. They have created such a human-centric, supportive, and nurturing environment. It’s very much rooted in coaching, and there’s no fear of failure here, because we know that we’ll all fail at some point.

There’s no fear of isolation, because we make sure that we provide opportunities for connectivity. We have an open-door policy, so you can lean on anyone in the company at any point and not lose your position of authority.?

It’s not like the old-school philosophy of management depicted in books like The 48 Laws of Power, where you never ever cede the power dynamic to someone who reports to you. We don’t really have a hierarchy here, so everyone gets to be themselves and connect at different levels. It’s really embedded in who we are and is a clear part of our culture and values.

I’ve never worked for two female founders before, so I really have it all. Female founders are only 1% of tech founders, and we have two who have grown a company in a very competitive space. I think this has made a big impact on me, and on how the company is run.?

What would you like to see companies do to improve the workplace for their people?

A. They need to allow people to be human. At some point, we created a space where human emotion was not acceptable in the workplace. If you are angry you can’t express it, or if you are down you have to hide in the bathroom to cry. If you are sad you have to smile, no matter what, because that is part of your job. But we’re now in a space where we should realize that we’re hiring whole human beings, and we need to address their human needs through our policies and procedures and the types of benefits we offer. Otherwise, we may end up with some very dysfunctional workplaces, and I think people are tired of dysfunction.

Further, now that we’re primarily remote, the time when you could decompress during the drive or train ride home from work is no longer there. You’re bringing that dysfunction right into your home, because that’s also where you work. It’s going to affect every part of peoples’ lives. It’s important for us to recognize just how much of a shift has occurred since COVID, and to understand that there’s now a very fine line between work life and home life. We don’t have to have all the answers, but we need to understand that we can’t just address work needs without addressing real life needs.

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What does career success mean to you?

My definition of career success has changed recently. I used to think it was just about achievement – completing this, moving up here. But now, I think career success means being appreciated for my craft. I value feeling appreciated, when someone tells me that I really helped them, and that’s something that is very much connected to a life experience and not just a work experience.

My mindset has shifted since joining Sounding Board , because in this space it’s okay for me to express my views and have a different philosophy regarding HR. Also, sharing my experience with people has been very rewarding. So, now it’s the connections that I make with people, and the impact that I have on their lives that defines career success for me. It’s not just the achievement or career progression side of things.

?To connect with Ayishah , click here. For more information on Sounding Board,check out their website