Leading with Emotional Intelligence

Here’s what to expect in this month’s edition of The Coach Approach newsletter…

> 6 Characteristics of an Emotionally Intelligent Leader

> A coach’s thoughts on dealing with your emotions (and your team’s emotions!) while still staying professional

This month's leadership quote:

“No doubt emotional intelligence is rarer than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.”?—Jack Welch, Former Chairman and CEO of General Electric

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6 Characteristics of an Emotionally Intelligent Leader…

This isn’t a news flash:?soft skills are no longer optional. We know this. We recognize it especially when unhealthy team culture hinders productivity or when an emotionally unhealthy leader causes systemic issues in an organization.

But surprisingly,?even though we recognize the NEED for emotionally intelligent leaders, we don’t always know what it takes to BECOME one.

Are you wondering if you’re an emotionally healthy/intelligent leader??

Here are six important characteristics you can use to gauge where you are in your journey…

1. SELF-AWARENESS

Emotionally healthy?leaders?have invested time to understand WHO they are – their values, their triggers, their natural wiring, and how their actions affect the people around them.

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2. SELF-MANAGEMENT

Awareness doesn’t mean much if you don’t USE that?awareness?to take action. In those times of being triggered, or solving business problems, or dealing with a crisis, self-management skills offer the ability to stay calm and focused and work toward helpful solutions.

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3. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Emotionally healthy leaders have learned how to LISTEN well. They pay attention to energy level, body language, tone of voice, speed of speech, types of language being used, as well as to what isn’t being said – and they don’t interrupt or finish people’s sentences (whether literally or in their heads). It’s equally important to ARTICULATE AND CONVEY things in a way that others can receive well.

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4. EMPATHY AND COMPASSION

This is the ability to appreciate someone’s perspective, circumstances, and challenges, whether those things are difficult for us or not. It’s about validating the experiences of others even when you may not fully understand.

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5. CURIOSITY WITHOUT JUDGMENT

This is practicing what we call in coaching ‘JUDGMENT-FREE AWARENESS’—seeing the facts of a situation without jumping to a conclusion or making an assumption about them…staying open and asking questions.

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6. OPTIMISM AND VISION FOR THE FUTURE

Emotionally intelligent leaders see the future as HOPEFUL, BRIGHT. They look for and envision positive outcomes. But it doesn’t stop there. They also SHARE what they see. They’re willing to?inspire?others with their?vision?— even in the face of seemingly impossible odds and difficult circumstances.

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What does all this mean?

Put all these leadership characteristics together, and not only do you have an emotionally healthy and intelligent leader, but you have the possibility of a psychologically safe?culture?– where people can bring the best version of themselves and their highest contribution to the table, love what they do, and be committed to the team.

This isn’t a “fluffy” idea. Study after study has shown these kinds of working environments produce the BEST and most sustainable business?results.

‘Ask the Coach’ Corner...

Question:?How can I deal with my emotions, or my team’s emotions, effectively while still being professional?

Alissa’s Answer…

I had a leader tell me that the way he teaches his leaders to deal with conflict is to “IGNORE THE EMOTION.”

While I appreciate the motive behind not becoming combative with someone,?ignoring emotions is one of the WORST strategies for resolving conflict.?It’s like putting a band-aid over an infection and expecting it to heal.

Emotions are like the?warning lights on the dashboard of a car. They are?indicators. Red flags. Flashing signs that show us something needs our attention. And we MUST PAY ATTENTION to them.

One of the keys to becoming a great COACH LEADER is learning how to respond to and support others THROUGH their EMOTIONS.?Staying curious, open, not assuming, naming what we are observing, and genuinely asking about it.

Here’s?what NOT to do?when you or one of your team members is experiencing a strong emotion about a situation:

• IGNORE the emotion
• DOWNPLAY it
• NORMALIZE it
• RUSH TO FIX it
• JUSTIFY it

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Here’s?what TO DO?when dealing with emotion:

• IDENTIFY the emotion
• GET CURIOUS about the emotion
• ASK QUESTIONS to further understand & DIG DEEPER into the “why”
• ACKNOWLEDGE the emotion for what it’s trying to tell you
• DECIDE what positive actions you can take in light of the emotion

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Remember, emotions themselves aren’t good or bad.?They are just indicators, information, data, helpful notifications that let you know something needs attention.

What emotional “indicators” can you start paying attention to—in yourself or in your team—today??

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Please let me know if the information in this newsletter is helpful by hitting 'like' and?sharing a comment below!

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Alissa DeWitt,?MCC, CPC, CERS,?is the Founder, CEO and?Executive Leadership Coach at Executive Impact, an organization dedicated to developing coach leaders and building leadership dream teams. With 30+ years in business and leadership, expertise in human behavior working with leaders from the front line to the C-Suite, and competencies as a Master Certified Coach, Alissa is the creator of the 'Coach Approach to Leadership.'