The Leading Edge: Leadership is Connection

This post originally appeared on the John Maxwell Team blog.

By Amy Malay, a certified John Maxwell Team coach, speaker, and trainer.

When I was almost 19, I became a big sister for the fourth time. Within a few minutes of my baby sister’s birth, the doctors and nurses and my parents realized that Rachael had a little something extra: an extra chromosome on her 21st pair. Yes, you may have guessed it! Rachael has Down Syndrome. To us, she was a little doll baby and she stole our hearts from the very start. Little did we know all that she would teach our family over the years.

Rachael Bea is now 26, very capable and strong physically, and very verbal. In fact, if you were to have a conversation with her, you would likely chuckle as you try to get in a word or two yourself! Rachael has a servant heart and an EQ that impresses most people that have the opportunity to meet her.

Sometimes, Rachael sleeps over at my house. She just loves sleepovers! One of the activities we almost always do together is to go for a walk. One weekend, as we got started on our walk, I walked a few steps and realized that Rachael always seemed to be a few strides behind. I would pause so she could catch up and then we’d repeat the cycle. I have to admit, I started feeling frustrated, and couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t just stay with me. After all, I wasn’t going that fast!

During one of my pauses while Rachael was catching up, I remembered a quote by Albert Camus: “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” I realized it was my responsibility to lead, not by walking faster than Rachael, but by intentionally walking beside her.

So, as Rachael caught up to me one more time, I held out my arm and said, “Here, Rachael, why don’t you link arms with me?” She grinned up at me and replied, “Thanks!” I grinned back and resigned myself to what I thought would be a much slower pace for the remainder of our walk. But to my surprise as we walked on I didn’t have to slow my pace at all. With our arms linked, Rachael stayed in step with me! That day, I experienced the leadership principle of connection.

Connection requires slowing down. When it seems like another person is going too slow, here’s a hint: it’s probably not them! Many times leaders think way ahead, beyond the awareness of those they lead. While it isn’t a bad thing to have vision and a plan to reach it, intentionally slowing down helps us to match the pace of others. Then, we can find common ground to move forward together.

Connection requires reaching out. Reaching out to link arms with Rachael, to stay connected physically with her, was how I found myself walking beside her. Sometimes reaching out takes the form of intentionally asking questions. What does the other person value? What are their hopes and goals? Imagine the camaraderie that that we can build by taking the initiative to connect at this level, rather than just talking about the weather.

Connection provides a launching pad for success. Once Rachael and I had linked arms, once we connected, we moved forward together quickly. We chatted and laughed and had fun together. We gave each other energy and inspiration, and we were no longer thinking about the “work” of walking or trying to stay together. We were just enjoying the journey. And that is what I would call success.

So, on your journey, remember to slow down, to reach out, and to walk beside others. The investment of your time and energy to connect with your team, family, or friends, may seem like a small sacrifice. But in the end, a small connection can make a big difference!

About Amy:

Amy J. Malay, Chief Change Leader at Join Me on the Journey, is a certified coach, trainer, and speaker with the John Maxwell Team, and is the Director of Team Development at Ambassador Advisors. Amy desires to be an agent of change in others’ lives and businesses. She helps individuals and teams to get “unstuck” in areas where they feel growth is needed. Amy has accumulated over 30 years of business experience in a variety of industries, and is well-equipped to serve you and your team in areas such as leadership, communication, team building, and personal growth. Change leadership is her passion. Transformation is her goal!