The Leading Edge: The Fear of Public Speaking

We’ve all heard that the fear of public speaking is one that ranks right up there with the fear of dying. Why is that?

One reason is because we put so much pressure on trying to please everyone in the room. Of course, that seems like a logical goal, but depending on the size of the room, it’s likely an impossible one. Having been a middle school teacher for nearly a decade and working in front of crowds from 25-250 regularly for longer than that, I have come up with some rules to allay the fear.

Forget about pleasing everyone in the room. Decide who you’re really speaking to, and then craft your speech around that group of people or that type of person. When you can, practice your material on those types of people. When you deliver it, focus on those folks again. When they love you, others will follow suit. When you feel that someone isn’t laughing at your jokes (or crying at the sad moment in your story), remember that it is not about you. They’re likely wrapped up in something else. Don’t let their lack of engagement throw you off of your game. As one of my mentors, Roddy Galbraith, says, “What other people think of you is none of your business!”

Everything does not have to go according to plan. In fact, many times when you get off script, even just a little bit, the audience will love you for it. I remember my first time speaking. I was preaching a 5 minute mini-sermon in front of a congregation of about 300 on a Sunday evening. I had it all written down perfectly, but somehow that wasn’t enough. I planted my head in my hands, took a deep breath, and, with my hands still firm against my face, I said, “I’ve never been so nervous in my whole life!” Everyone laughed, including me. The nerves were gone and the sermon was delivered. 

Act like you’re part of the group you’re presenting to. Don’t overdress or underdress. Don’t be under duress. Don’t use language and vocabulary that isn’t aligned with how they normally talk. In fact, speaking a little lower than them will make them feel smarter and makes them like you more. Mix and mingle with participants so that they don’t think that you think you’re better than they are. When you will build rapport, you’ll learn if you need to adjust anything in your speech based on a few quick conversations. Plus, it’s nice to know a few people so you don’t feel all alone up in front.

Relax, they’re just people. Sure, they want to know why you were hired to speak to them, so don’t be afraid to tell them. While you’re at it, tell them a little about yourself so they understand where you’re coming from and that you’re really just like them, too. They can’t fire you (they can only choose not to rehire you at this point). They can also leave if they want. They are, again, people in control of themselves. 

I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. But you can do it! The truth is, everyone would rather you be up there instead of them, so why not make them regret having passed on the opportunity? While you’re at it, teach them something they won’t soon forget!

About Michael:

Michael Gueltig, Jr., is a certified speaker, trainer, and coach with the John Maxwell Team. He is a father of two, husband of one, and lover of many things (like reading, writing, teaching, and chocolate, to name a few). He currently lives in Alexandria, VA and works as an instructional coach for D.C. Public Schools.