Leading Differently through the Conflict

I am struck by the thought we must lead differently in the coming years. The world is a different place than it was 10 years ago, 1 year ago and certainly since the election of our new president here in the United States. Technology, social media, global partners, home offices, five generations in the workforce, well-educated customers and so on. These all cause different viewpoints and different viewpoints cause conflict. I know so many people who at the mention of the word conflict get sick to their stomach. Are you one of these people? I am quite aware that even though you may be in a leadership role you may not be comfortable handling conflict. However, as an effective leader, you cannot avoid the conflict. Let’s face it, conflict happens every day we are alive and it is because we have different values, needs, and desires. So you may ask how do we manage and lead through these differences? In fact, the question I have been pondering personally is how do we lead through the conflict differently, effectively and maintain our health?

Our health is affected by conflict and conflict causes stress. Stress today is making us sick mentally, emotionally, and physically. If we are sick we are ineffective at work and unable to maximize our creativity and efficiencies. In essence, it affects our organizational bottom line. It is affecting our personal relationships, work relationships, and community relationships. So much so, the issue of stress and conflict are now studied by numerous organizations. The American Institute of Stress has reported on Workplace Stress main causes. They highlight that people issues are 28% of work stress, workload being 46%, lack of job security being 6% and juggling personal and work issues being 20%. This sends up a real distress signal to me. One that says we must confront the elephant under the carpet...conflict.

The first step is to be cognizant that conflict exists. Then we must decide if and when we are going to address it. With that being said let me be clear that I do not believe we have to address all conflict. If we did, we would be fighting battles all day and that would surely exhaust us and possibly make us sick. I have learned to ask myself several questions. Number one, what is at stake here? Number two, will it matter tomorrow? And third, is this the right time to address the issue? Perhaps, waiting until the end of the project, semester, or fiscal year is better timing. Asking key questions is a good beginning.

Secondly, I believe we need to be aware of who we are in conflict with. Let me explain. It is a proven fact that cultural differences cause conflict and stress. They are in fact the core of our differences we see today in the workplace. We know women and men think and respond differently to issues. We know corporate, community and nonprofit organizations have different values and objectives. Yet as we work smarter, more global, more collaboratively we do so with many differences. Differences we do not understand or value, or in some cases, even acknowledge. Dismissing or ignoring the difference does not make the difference go away. The conflict will continue to arise. I have found that acknowledging the difference is a starting place. For example, my business partner and I are quite different. She’s white; I am black. I am from the north; she is from the south. My work has been mostly in corporate settings; her experiences have been in mostly not for profit. We have acknowledged the differences which lead to different ways of thinking, however, we do our best to hear what the other is saying, acknowledging our different perspectives, and then moving forward to a point where we can agree. At times, we just agree to disagree and that’s ok. We have found that our differences stretch us to think our way into a solution because our partnership matters. We are in total agreement that the work we do in Cultural Intelligence matters. We move to the next step and that is to find common ground. In times of difference, it is crucial to keep the focus on common goals and values.

Carrie Wagner, my business partner and I are committed to being part of the solution that challenges today’s workforce. We believe that people are at their best when they feel valued for who they are (their full selves) and the unique perspective that they bring. How about you? If you value authenticity and cultural diversity, we’d love to talk with you about aligning your values with actions, systems, and practices in your workplace. Let's start a conversation. Call me 828-713-7949 or email [email protected]