Leading with Compassion: A Journey from Fear to Enlightened Leadership

I want to take you on a journey - my journey - of discovering what it truly means to lead with compassion. This isn't just another business strategy or leadership technique. It's a profound shift in consciousness that has the power to transform not only our organizations but our entire lives.

As I sit here writing this, I'm in the midst of a years-long custody battle. I'm sharing this not for sympathy, but because transparency and vulnerability are at the core of who I am and what I teach. Despite the challenges, I want you to know that I am thriving. We are winning. Good always prevails.

This experience has reinforced a truth I've come to understand deeply: compassionate leadership isn't just about being nice or kind. It's about having the courage to face our fears, heal our traumas, and show up authentically in every aspect of our lives.

The Hidden Power of Unresolved Trauma

Let me take you back to a pivotal moment in my life. I was fresh out of Harvard, filled with ambition and dreams, ready to conquer the world. I decided to start a plant-based hair product company, inspired by my own experiences of discrimination in the workplace due to my natural hair.

On the surface, it seemed like I was living the entrepreneurial dream. But beneath that facade, I was operating from a place of deep fear and insecurity. I allowed someone to become a 50-50 partner in my company - someone who took advantage of my kindness and generosity, someone who contributed nothing but took credit for everything.

Why did I do this??

Because at the time, I didn't have the capacity to set boundaries. I didn't have the experience or the modeling of what healthy boundaries looked like. I was leading from fear - fear of being seen, fear of standing alone.

This fear wasn't random. It was rooted in trauma that I had been carrying since childhood. When I was six years old, my sister was murdered. My father went to federal prison. My mother struggled with mental illness. And I was told to keep silent about all of it.

I learned to suppress my truth, to hide my pain, to pretend everything was okay when it wasn't. This trauma, left unaddressed, manifested in my business decisions and leadership style. I thought I needed someone else to feel safe, even if that person was taking advantage of me.

The Turning Point

The universe has a way of shaking us awake when we're not listening to our inner truth. For me, that wake-up call came in a series of painful events. My father passed away. One of my best friends was murdered. My mother attempted suicide just as we were launching our full product line.

These events forced me to confront the fact that I was living out of alignment with my true self. I had to make the difficult decision to shut down the company. At the time, I framed it as needing to take care of my mom. And while that was true, it wasn't the whole truth.

The whole truth was that I was running a business with someone I didn't want to work with, someone who didn't deserve to share the spotlight with me. I was hiding behind a partnership that was draining my energy and stifling my creativity.

Letting go of that business was one of the most painful experiences of my life. It felt like I was losing my dream. But looking back now, I realize it was the beginning of my true healing journey.

The Path to Compassionate Leadership

So, how do we move from leading with fear to leading with compassion??

It starts with doing the inner work. We have to be willing to look at our traumas, our insecurities, our fears. We have to be willing to speak our truth, even when it's uncomfortable.

This isn't easy work. It requires courage and vulnerability. It requires us to challenge the beliefs and patterns that have been ingrained in us since childhood. But it's necessary work if we want to become truly effective, compassionate leaders.

For me, this journey involved working with therapists, healers, and coaches. It involved diving deep into my childhood experiences and understanding how they were shaping my adult behaviors. It involved learning to set boundaries, to speak my truth, and to value myself.

As I did this work, I began to understand what true compassion looks like. It's not about being a doormat or always turning the other cheek. It's about seeing people (including ourselves) for who they truly are, acknowledging their struggles and their potential, and creating space for growth and transformation.

Compassionate leadership means having the courage to call out bullshit - in ourselves and others. It means being honest about our boundaries, what we stand for, and what we won't tolerate. It means communicating these truths kindly but firmly.

The Rewards of Compassionate Leadership

As I've embraced this path of compassionate leadership, I've seen incredible transformations in my life and work. I've moved from coaching individuals in my Sol Full Accelerator program to launching The MetaBusiness World and executive leadership work. I've become an international keynote speaker, sharing my message with larger audiences.

But more important than these external achievements is the internal shift I've experienced. I feel more aligned, more fulfilled, more alive than ever before. I'm no longer driven by fear or the need for others' approval. I'm driven by a deep sense of purpose and a commitment to my own truth.

This shift hasn't always been easy. There have been moments of doubt and frustration. I've had to learn to have compassion for myself, even when things aren't moving as quickly as I'd like.

For example, I currently have about 5,500 followers on Instagram and often get only six or seven views on my YouTube live videos. Compared to other influencers and international speakers, these numbers might seem small. But I've learned to have compassion for myself in this journey. I recognize that I'm showing up consistently, speaking my truth, and doing the work. The right audience will come at the right time.

This is a key lesson in compassionate leadership: trusting in divine timing. When the right time, place, and conditions align, everything will manifest in perfect harmony. This is what Abraham Hicks calls "deliberate creation," and it's a principle I've come to embrace fully.

The Ongoing Journey

Compassionate leadership isn't a destination; it's an ongoing journey. It requires daily practice, constant self-reflection, and a willingness to grow and evolve. Some days are easier than others, but every day offers an opportunity to choose compassion over fear, authenticity over pretense.

As I prepare for my next chapter as an international corporate keynote speaker, I'm continually refining my message and my understanding of compassionate leadership. I'm exploring how to bring these concepts into corporate settings in ways that are practical and transformative.

I invite you to join me on this journey. What would it look like for you to lead with more compassion - in your business, in your relationships, in your relationship with yourself? How might your life and work transform if you approached them from a place of compassion rather than fear?

Here are some practices that have been helpful for me:

1. Daily self-reflection: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What fears or insecurities are coming up? How can you approach these with compassion?

2. Speak your truth: Practice being honest about your experiences and feelings, even when it's uncomfortable. Start with trusted friends or a therapist if speaking publicly feels too daunting.

3. Set and communicate boundaries: Identify what you will and won't tolerate in your life and work. Practice communicating these boundaries clearly and kindly.

4. Seek support: Don't try to do this work alone. Whether it's a coach, energy healer, or trusted friend, find people who can support you on this journey.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially when you're struggling. Treat yourself with the same compassion you'd offer a good friend.

6. Trust the process: Remember that growth and transformation take time. Trust that you're exactly where you need to be on your journey.

As we wrap up, I want to encourage you to take some time this week to love yourself. For me, that looks like traveling to Tampa to spend time with my healers and mentors, bringing my son along, enjoying good food, participating in plant medicine ceremonies, and resting. It involves reflecting on my vision for the future and how I want to show up in my next iteration as an international corporate keynote speaker.

What will self-love look like for you this week? Will it be nurturing self-care activities? Taking time off to envision a brighter future for your business? Assessing your circle and deciding who truly aligns with your vision? Whatever it is, approach it with compassion and honesty.

Remember, this journey of compassionate leadership starts with having compassion for yourself. It's about seeing yourself clearly, acknowledging where you are, and loving yourself through the process of growth and transformation.

I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity to share this journey with you. Thank you for being here, for holding space for me as I hold space for you. If you'd like to connect further, you can find me on social media @iamerinpatten or check out my offerings at www.erinpatten.com. I offer keynote speaking, MetaBusiness VIP Days, MetaStrategy Vision and Values work, and one-on-one coaching for those ready to take themselves and their organizations to the next level.

Remember, you are exactly where you need to be. Trust the journey, embrace compassion, and keep shining your light.