Leadership is Uglier Than You Think

Mental health topics are very popular these days.

It's a topic that indeed should be covered from end to end...in society, at home, in schools and very much in the workplace. I've felt that way for many years. Then finally, in 2020, what seems like a lifetime ago, I took the opportunity to dig into this topic through a series for my then Podcast, #RealTalk About the Workplace. ??

Aside from that picture, I'd change some things if I were recording that podcast today. I'd add different areas of emphasis.

We need to have more conversations about the 'ugly' parts of leading. Leading while you're hurting, lonely, angry or just plain tired. It's much uglier than we think.

We need to provide more airtime to senior leaders in the workplace who are often struggling to stay afloat. Many leaders are drowning behind their masks - literally and figuratively. Many have fallen into despair, wrongly convinced that they have to keep up appearances as leaders. And, many believe that they need to have the answers, even though they feel baffled about what the right questions are.

There's no doubt that leadership is a high calling. But, it doesn't exempt one who answers that call from falling short...sometimes publicly. Sometimes privately. Sometime a little of both.

The good news is that many of the leaders who are struggling are wise enough to fail fast, embrace transparency and authenticity. They also tend to win faster afterwards.

Those types of leaders have the unusual trait combination of vulnerability, tenacity and quiet confidence. In my view, they fit the 'superhero' bill - even if they don't realize it.

Beth Shelton, CEO of the Girl Scouts of Greater Iowa is a fantastic example of this.

I recently sat down with Beth to tap into more of this 'secret sauce' as it relates to vulnerability in leadership.

Beth went straight to the heart of the issue of leadership - before during and after crises: prioritizing your mental health. "Why was it okay to go through life without the right resources and support systems?", Beth pondered. She described the after-effects of these resource gaps as "stress fractures" that hit her after the pandemic hit all of us. Taking care of yourself is not optional. You can't help others drink if your own well is empty.

Sometimes, you may find that your coping mechanisms are no longer helping you to march "through the fire like a warrior" leader, as she describes it in one of her recent posts. Beth wrote brilliantly and openly in that post about her use of alcohol as one those coping mechanisms which needed rooting out.

Beth was not only learning more about her own personal limits, she was elevating her awareness of what her team members viewed as a productive and healthy culture - through and beyond the pandemic. These days, in addition to the plaguing business challenges of the state of the supply chain, labor shortages and revenue, Beth is also laser-focused on "how to continue to connect with people authentically beyond the video screen....a social and emotional connection."

Here are four common sense ideas gleaned from my conversation with Beth that Boards, leaders and/or employees can use to help leaders maintain mental health in the workplace.

1. Identify and assess the core competencies of the collective team. Everyone is not good at everything. But, everyone is good at some things. Find out what those areas are and spread the genius around. It will provide a broader level of support to the entire workplace.
2. Give permission to throw things out the window - no, not literally! Meaning, reframe your concept of scalability and affordability to comport with what people actually need and want in order to thrive in the workplace.
3. Make values non-negotiable. At the Girl Scouts of Greater Iowa, servant leadership is one such value that has served them well.
4. Recognize that tough lessons and unpleasant chapters in our lives should be shared, with boundaries, of course. But transparency and trust, beget more transparency and even more trust.

And, business results from healthy leadership tend to speak for themselves. Strong membership numbers and retention are both metrics that Beth and her team are incredibly proud of. In addition, they are helping to lead the way with what some may still describe as 'radically great' benefits: 12 weeks of paid parental leave; bringing infants (up to 6 months) to work; paid caregiver leave (in addition to PTO); and paid bereavement leave for miscarriages among others. Kudos!

Leaders fail. They fall. But, please let common sense direct you to those who need help in getting back up. Because, once they do, workplaces will soar.

Joanne (Jo) Rencher, Founder & CEO of Joanne Rencher & Associates:?jrencher-associates.com?| email: [email protected] Author of?Tough As Nails: Finding Your Voice as a Woman in the Workplace