The leadership trait that will get us through this crisis

This is Working Together, a weekly series on the changing face of U.S. business. These are challenging times and we are all trying to work out what the coronavirus means for our lives and our careers. If there are topics related to the virus that you’d like us to discuss as a community, let me know in the comments below or send me an email: [email protected]. Let’s dive right in. 

A couple weeks ago, Marriott CEO Arne Sorenson had a difficult decision to make. Fresh off a round of medical treatments that led to the loss of his hair, Sorenson needed to update both his employees and customers on the devastating impact of the coronavirus in the hospitality industry. Layoffs were unavoidable. Should he share this update privately or publicly? What should he say?

Sorenson chose to record a video and post it publicly on LinkedIn. Since then, more than a million people have watched it. 

“I can tell you that I have never had a more difficult moment than this one,” Sorenson said amid tears. “There is simply nothing worse than telling highly valued associates, people who are at the very heart of this company, that their roles are being impacted by events completely outside their control. I have never been more determined to see us through as I am in this moment.” 

Now, perhaps more than ever, corporate leaders are choosing empathy to guide their communication and decisions in the wake of this crisis. Even just a few years ago, it would have been considered bizarre for the CEO of a Fortune 500 to weep in public. But the changing nature of work has forced leaders to show empathy in real time. And, in turn, what a successful corporate leader looks like has begun to change.   

“The stereotype of what a leader is is still, in many instances, a white male stoic leader. But what we want from a leader has changed quite a bit.” said Mollie West Duffy, co-author of No Hard Feelings, The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions At Work. “Regardless if the leader is a man or a woman, we want that leader to be emotional and show some emotions.”

Empathetic leadership — the ability to understand and convey the needs of others — might sound like a touchy-feely skill. But it may be one of the most challenging traits for executives to master. If you show too much emotion as a leader, people may perceive you as unpredictable and chaotic. If you don’t share enough, you could be perceived as cold and calculating. Getting the balance right — particularly in a high-stress situation like a global pandemic — requires considerable emotional intelligence. 

The best executives practice what Liz Fosslien — the co-author of No Hard Feelings — calls “selective vulnerability.” It’s important that business leaders acknowledge they have emotions, but they also must provide a clear path forward. 

“Leading with empathy is also about prioritizing stability and reducing anxiety, and that means not standing in front of your employees and having a panic attack,” Fosslien said. “But you do have to show that you're human and that we’re in an unprecedented global crisis right now.” 

Consistent, clear communication is critical as well. With many employees working from home, it’s important that managers reach out to their staff with both guidance on how they’re doing and assurance that they’ll get through the ambiguity together. 

Since the pandemic began, West Duffy and Fosslien have led weekly webinars with people across the country on how the coronavirus is affecting our mental health. During these sessions, they have seen a sharp divide between workers with managers who are leading empathetically and those with managers who aren’t. 

The workers who do not feel like their leaders are supporting them through this time can’t wait to find another job when this crisis ends. And West Duffy and Fosslien argue that the leaders who create a place where workers feel supported now will be at a competitive advantage later on. 

“When this is over, job candidates will ask in interviews how your leadership responded to the COVID-19 crisis,” Fosslien said. “You want to make sure your current employees have a great response if you are going to get the best talent.”

Today’s unique environment may very well encourage more leaders to embrace empathy, said emotional intelligence expert Harvey Deutschendorf. Many people hone their sense of empathy during a personal hardship like the death of a family member or a job loss. With everyone in the world experiencing the impact of the coronavirus in their own way, Deutschendorf says that collective experience may lead to a new leadership paradigm altogether. 

“Even the leaders that are not empathetic and don’t think that it is important, if they are seeing other leaders doing it, they will make an effort to be more empathetic,” he said. “If they see empathy as related to success, that will make them want to be empathetic.” 

So, how can you lead your team with more empathy starting now? Deutschendorf recommends putting yourself in the shoes of your employees. That could mean considering the experience of a working mother who now is homeschooling her children, or it could mean taking a week to budget the same way as your frontline workers. Understanding the experiences of others begins with active listening. Most people are preoccupied with what they are going to say next when someone is talking. Particularly in an all-remote world, really listening when you are in conversations with people is critical, Deutschendorf added. 

West Duffy and Fosslien shared a tip that may seem counterintuitive to many business leaders: Admit that you don’t have all the answers. You may not know how to respond to a colleague with a sick loved one or a family that is far away during this time. Many executives might immediately go into problem-solving mode. But for now, the best response may be to simply lend a supportive ear. 

“There is a leader's urge to be there and fix things, and I think we should back off that a little bit when you don’t have everything figured out,” Fosslien said. “Just remember that empathy can mean just listening, you don’t have to have the answers.”

What’s Working

The ‘new normal’ for moms. It’s a scary time right now for pregnant women who don’t know how to get the care they need while sheltering in place. Maternity startup founder Katherine Ryder created a targeted COVID-19 product for prenatal, postpartum, and pediatric care and is also launching webinars to bring moms information in real time. [LinkedIn]

‘Equal pay’ wakeup call. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg spoke with Yahoo! Finance about how the COVID-19 virus is shining a light on inequities for women on everything from equal pay to domestic violence. “We have to fix them so that when these moments hit, we are better prepared and people are better taken care of,” she said. [Yahoo! Finance] 

Virtual growth. Goldman Sachs is still moving forward with its eight-week program to connect Black and Latinx founders with resources, investors and information. [You can apply here] 

A new project. Past Working Together Live guests Minda Harts and Michelle P. King teamed up to share tips on how to start that book you have always wanted to write. It’s worth tuning in. [LinkedIn]

What Needs Work

Not in the data. Women have been underrepresented in clinical research for decades, and the research around a coronavirus treatment is no exception. “Everybody is doing the best they can in these times, but if it is not on somebody’s radar who has the power to get the data out there, you’re just not going to see it,” a scientist at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health who studies sex difference in viral infections told the New York Times. [NYT]

50/50? Think again. When the pandemic started, there were many thought pieces published about how social distancing could lead to more men taking on household chores, with many workers at home. Early survey data shows the opposite: Only 8% of 150 women surveyed from companies with 50 employees or more say their partners are sharing these responsibilities. [Sarah Lacy] 

Who’s Pushing Us Forward

Shortly after joining us on Business Unusual Live — our new daily show on how the coronavirus is impacting the ways that we all work — Luminary NYC Founder and CEO Cate Luzio contracted the virus. She shares on LinkedIn what she learned from the experience. Feel better, Cate!

What topics do you want to discuss next week? Let me know in the comments below using #WorkingTogether