Leadership Series 5 - Building Trust with Communication

Are you Communicating with the team?

Business conflicts, office politics, workplace bickering, personality clashes - sounds familiar? These are a few common scenarios you might encounter at almost every workplace. It goes without saying that majority of these problems arise due to lack of communication.

The most important question we must ask ourselves is - are our team members communicating or informing each other? Does the core team believe in your common goals? Before diving deeper into the real meaning of communication, let’s discuss a few reasons why team members do not communicate:

1. Lack of correct information being passed to the team because people just assume everyone knows how something works
2. Lack of interaction because people want to avoid conflict
3. Lack of expression of opinions because we know or assume that the other person will not listen
4. Fear of exposing the weaknesses or becoming vulnerable

Give a closer look to these scenarios, think for some time and maybe close your eyes and you will realize the fundamental problem here.

The crux of the matter here is Lack of Trust.

There are several ways organizations adapt to build team building capabilities, leadership skills, etc. in the teams. However, they fail to understand that the important aspect is to build trust between the teams members.

As a business leader I’d first want to get this sorted with the members of the core team.

Trust is the product of right intentions and right communication and this is what we are aiming to establish in this article.

When we are aware and our intentions are aligned with the business, we have the direction to move in any given any situation. Our focus and concentration become sharp and we are able to arrive at the answers, or reach the reason of the problem in an effective manner. Thus, we know the right steps moving forward. In other words we know “what” to do or “what” to say. But knowing is not enough. Apart from the knowledge aspect, we must be familiar with the “action” aspect as well.

“How” to express or present or explain the knowing to the people is communication. Let’s start this article with a short poem.

You feel, you desire

You have an inextinguishable fire

You know what’s right

You have a crystal-clear sight

You know “what” to do

But here is a clue

Knowing won’t be enough

When things get tough

So “what” you know

Must follow the “how”

That is the only way to allow

Yourself to reach the heights

Bring light into the nights

Only when you know how to act

You will respond, and not react

Only when you know how to shrug the dust

Will you be able to trust.

Communicating your “knowing”

In the recent times, empathy and emotional intelligence have become buzzwords in the corporate world. However, they are nothing but offshoots from the state of awareness you are in. You don’t need to make separate efforts to be empathetic. Once you are aware, you will automatically develop empathy for people around you. Such is the power of awareness.

Empathy brings you the “what” aspect of communication. With empathy, you are able to understand other people’s feelings, state of mind and non-verbal behaviours. You then need to solidify that connection by expressing in the correct manner, which is the “how” aspect of awareness. That’s emotional intelligence. You are able to manage your emotions and the emotions of others through this awareness.

Emotional intelligence is the bridge connecting your awareness (what) with your actions (how).

Effectively communicating your intentions or your feelings is so important at workplace because that is when you are responding from your “knowing” (article 3). So, when you request your team to stay back for some urgent work, are you communicating your intentions with the team? Are you informing them about the urgency of the work? Or are you just “instructing” them to stay back? The difference between the two is how you communicate and with what intention. The combination of the two gives the perception whether it is an instruction or information.

It is equally important to understand that actions without “knowing” is also not as effective. The result of great communication skills without “knowing” is always weak, and most times temporary. People at the receiving end don’t feel and are not able to connect fully. Hence the two complete each other, and the result is what people call as communication skills.

Let’s take an example of you and your core team in the boardroom discussing why the company has not been able to create an impact in terms of brand perception even though growth and profitability have been fairly decent. The root cause can only be identified once everyone is aligned not just with their work or functions, but with the business as a whole. For instance, does the Marketing Chief know about what is going on in the tech department and why the projects are getting delayed? Most times they don’t and then they crib about the tasks being in backlog and delay in performance.

The four scenarios we discussed in the beginning, the moment we understand how to address them, people will start indulging in meaningful discussions. There will still be arguments and conflicts but with the purpose of understanding the problems and finding solutions together as a business.

Once you address those issues, the core team now will be in a higher state of awareness (congratulations to you as a business leader) and their intentions will be more aligned with the business. Moreover, even the decisions in the board meetings now will be more aligned to the common goal.

Such board meetings can only happen when the core team members know how to communicate what they know, and that the words and non-words question the result and not an individual.

Going beyond words

Once you have stepped into the state of awareness, you have tuned your frequency to receive the non-verbal signals from others. This results in understanding others, situations they are going through and their state of mind.

When you are communicating, non-verbal actions, like touch, facial expressions, body gestures, etc. accompany your words. It is a combination of your words that you speak and the bodily actions that is perceived by the sensory organs of the other person. This combination is what differentiates people with awareness and without it.

It is important to establish that as an aware leader, it is crucial to nurture your core team to develop this state of being. There will some form of mentoring that cannot be expressed in words and the only way to transmit that knowledge is through non-verbal communication. Both the sender and receiver should have the same algorithm for encryption and decryption for such “knowing” to be transferred!

Let us take a simple example. In Indian tradition, it is usually considered revered to touch the feet of the elderly to get their blessings. While some of you might not agree as it involves fading the lines of your ego, there is a scientific explanation to it. Our finger tips have the most energy. When we touch the feet of elderly, our fingers comes in contact with the toes of elderly and the circuit gets completed for the knowing to be transferred. What we then call blessing is actually the knowing. Since our finger tips have so much energy, this is the reason earlier people used to relish food by eating with their hands, as it also made the food easier to digest.

In order to protect a building getting destroyed from lightning, some antenna sort of spikes are attached to the roof of the building. Other end of the spike goes all the way down and grounded in earth. Those pointed areas are conductors of energy which transfer the current directly to the ground.

When we are aware, we somehow “know” how to pick up the right non-verbal cues for communication. But are we conscious of this knowing? Only when you realize you are in the state of awareness will you be able to mentor your core team. Here are a few ways to reflect on your non-verbal communication:

• In a meeting, you will be paying 100% attention to the team. You will be indulging in active listening, and listening to understand rather to respond
• Notice how you are maintaining an appropriate physical distance between you and your team members
• While addressing your team you will be maintaining the eye contact and moments of silence. Intentions are energy are best absorbed while maintaining eye contact and pause frequently to let that communication sink in
• Even as a business leader, you leave the door open for someone following you and at times prepare your own soup

Building trust through effective communication

Suppose someone walks into your office to talk to you about something. But before this person speaks up, you take out some time to appreciate his helpful attitude towards the team. You also explain him that you understand how he has been sounding low for the last few days but still managed to contribute positively in the team. Now, when it is time for the person to speak up, instead of drawing his resignation, he feels a sudden pang of motivation. He starts talking about how he can contribute more and take added responsibilities. I have almost always been successful in this. My intentions have always been in the best interest of the people and business. But intentions are not enough if not expressed effectively.

Such intentions combined with the right words makes wonders. All my non-verbal actions come up automatically because of my intentions and I make no effort there. They become a part of me. I become a part of the other person, I become ONE with him.

Effective communication leads to trust and meaningful connections.

A salesperson might do a good internet research about a prospective buyer before the appointment. Before talking about the product, the salesperson start making a connect with the prospective buyer by striking a meaningful conversation. Lets illustrate this with two examples:

1. Building a rapport - Suppose the prospective buyer is the CEO of an NGO that makes notebooks. Now the salesperson can share how he had a similar vision to build something like this to eradicate street beggars. He can also express interest in participating part time for the cause and share how his 12-year-old son can also be of some use by initiating some basic literacy course with the kids there. Now that the connection is established and the trust is earned, the buyer is more likely to buy a car from that particular salesperson.
2. Beyond rapport - You must have heard of the popular buzzword value-based selling. Once a rapport is formed understanding the potential buyer’s needs creates a sense of trust and belonging. The idea is not sell the product/service but the value it brings. Purchase will happen once the value is established in potential buyer’s mind. For instance, if I am interested to buy a four-wheeler for several reasons, a two-wheeler might not add any value to my purchase. Thus, the first step towards this technique is for a salesman to form a connection so that he gets to know the mindset of the potential buyer.

If you are hiring for some role, you must first understand the needs and aspirations of the candidate. With you awareness and communication indulge in meaningful conversation that enriches the experience of the candidate. Such experience will remain with the candidate always. if you hire without having a meaningful conversation, the person might leave the job in a week or the work might not be so efficient. Hiring without knowing might squander your time and energy and theirs as well. Note: Once a talented person joins as an effect of your charm and culture, establishing a connection throughout the journey will ensure his stay and attrition. Building a foundation is trust is important.

Leadership is about continuously emitting energy and establishing deep connections. The moment you become an uninterrupted source of energy, you automatically become an inspiration for people and it cannot happen without building a relationship with them.

For instance, once you start forming connections, the communication will be more about understanding the situation and growing together. Your team will realize the only reason you are interacting is to learn together and even if you make a mistake, you are not going to let them go. There would be no stress and subsequently, the productivity of the organization would drastically increase.

Effective communication helps to build trust both ways because it only happens when both the sides are in the awareness state.

Now that we have already established the importance of non-verbal communication, we must not forget the role it plays in building trust. Suppose you say you trust your team but spare no chance to interfere in their working or sharing your suspicion, this might lead to dissonance, either through your action or your words. Thus, only words are not enough to make any communication effective. If you want to build trust with your team, these words must also be in sync with your behaviour or actions.

Here's a little poem on the importance of building trust.

Trust when you are perplexed

Trust when you wonder ‘what next?’

Trust is a source of blessings

Which sometimes leads to lessons

When things go south and

You are scared of blunders

Trust and witness the wonders!

Most of the virtues we are discussing in this series, in some way or the other, are moving towards building trust with the team, whether it is care for the core team or effective communication. This is because trust is what holds the team together. If you do not trust your team, everything will eventually fall apart. Thus, effective communication is a must to build a strong foundation of trust.