The leadership secret I found in the back of a taxi

The leadership secret I found in the back of a taxi

It’s strange where some of the lessons you learn in your leadership journey come from.? Today’s story is about a leadership secret I found in the back of a taxi.

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And the reason for sharing it is because recently working with some coaching clients both first time leaders and stepping into leader of leader positions I felt I’d heard some of the story before.??

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And I had, and it happened in the back of a taxi.

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But first.

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Raised in the judgement of others.

Let’s talk about judgement.

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For as long as I can remember, I can remember being judged.

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Sometimes that judgement felt good.? In primary school we were divided into reading groups and maths groups, and I was proud to be in the top class.?? As were my parents.

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Other times judgement sets you back.? Like being picked out for sports and hoping you’re not in the last few reluctantly picked at the end.? That was me, growing up in Wales, judged for not having a naturally Welsh gift for rugby, unenthused by rain soaked and wind whipped hours on the boggy and inaptly named Paradise Fields that doubled up as a film set for World War 1 Somme battle scenes.

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League tables, exam results, university applications, job interviews, assessment centres – all judgement, ranking performance against others.

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And in the world of work, it continues.? Sales results, league tables and my personal favourite – the performance bell curve – a triumph of maths over behavioural science.?? Intended to raise performance whilst training everyone to judge and snitch on everyone else to feed the curve.

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Judgement can be brutal, painful and costly.?? But some folk deliberate choose occupations where judgement is part of the job.

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Opening ourselves to judgement is a brave thing to do.

I admire athletes, actors and all those whose profession is performance related for their courage in putting themselves out there to be judged, often by people far less skilled and talented that themselves.??

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That was my brother, as a semi-professional footballer.

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There’s nothing like being on the football pitch, soaked, tired as it heads towards the 90th receiving colourful judgement from an overweight guy in the stands whose athletic achievement that month consists of making it to his seat without dropping his pint or pasty.

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In a way, these performance professions have it easy because there is no choice but to dance with judgement.?? The rest of us have shadows where Imposter Syndrome tells us it’s safer to hide so judgement can’t get us.

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Being a first-time leader takes great courage.

Many people will get their first promotion for having shown they’re good at something.? The expert promotion.?? It’s understandable.?

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Show your competence as a project assistant apply to be the project manager.?? Be an awesome junior developer, now you can look after other juniors.

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This takes us on a journey from being up there, lauded for all we know to suddenly having a group of people around us who know more than we do and can also smell the stench of leadership fear.

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No one really tells you as a first-time leader this is likely to happen or how to prepare for it.??? You’re so keen to get the gig, how you’re going to live with it doesn’t really hit you until you’re there.

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It takes huge courage to step through this period of judgement.?? Which is why lots of people bottle it and adopt two equally unsuccessful strategies.

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Two common and unsuccessful strategies for first-time leaders.

To solve our dislike of being judged we tend to split into two tribes.

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Tribe 1 of first-time leaders will brave it out, keep their head down, try to learn the ropes fast and silently and not cause waves.?? Trying to reclaim the expert title again because that was the secret of success last time round.

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Tribe 2 of first-time leaders will emulate someone they think has it nailed.?? Adopting the pose, vocal style, written style, I’ve even seen office wear style, of the person they admire.?? Trying to clone themselves hoping what worked for someone else must surely work for me.

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Both strategies are about hiding in plain sight.? It doesn’t really work.? You’ve worked for these people.? You know it doesn’t work.? Yet whether you’re a first time leader or first time leader of leaders you’re tempted to do it anyway.

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Better this than the pain of being judged.

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What happened in the back of a taxi

In the back of a taxi the conversation with significant leader went like this.??

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I’ve been watching you.?

(OK so now my judgement radar is on highest alert)

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I have a challenge, and I want you to be part of it.

(I’m curious but my Imposter Syndrome is screaming you’re going to get found out for not being that great)

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This is the challenge, and this is specifically why I’m asking you to do this.

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At the time my feelings were a mixture of honour and imposter syndrome.?? Some while later the true lesson emerged.? I realised I’d been observed for some time.? The verdict as to who I was, what I was good at had already been reached.?

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But I’d been very lucky.

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Because though I was a fully signed up member of Tribe 1 – behave, do a good job and people will surely notice

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My learnings from the back of the taxi (TL:DR)

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1.??????? Be known

2.??????? Be known for something

3.??????? Work your butt off to be the best you can be at this thing

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Because if you don’t, then you leave this to chance.?? You could strike lucky.

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But you risk people attaching a label you don’t deserve or don’t want.?

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Or worse, they ignore you because it’s too much effort to find out the real you.

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How Imposter Syndrome deceives you

Imposter Syndrome will tell you that you’re not good enough to play in this league.?? That you’ll be found out sooner or later.?? It’s a fluke.?? The higher you rise the bigger the fall.

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And it’ll encourage you to hide in the shadows where it’s safe.?? Or hide behind an image of someone else.?? Or hide any imperfections or self-doubt.

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The longer you spend in leadership the more you realise everyone has flaws, gaps and foibles.?? Anyone who says they haven’t is either a liar or lacking self-awareness.

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Awareness is the first step to being awesome.?? If someone is investing in you and self-doubt kicks in, it’s an ideal moment to thank them for their faith and ask they watch over you.

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Because likely as they’ve been watching closely they know your strengths and flaws anyway.

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And once you know they know.

And they know you know they know.

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You can stop playing games and return to being an adult, free of Imposter Syndrome because when there’s light, there are no shadows for it to hide in.

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Your journey to being a Braver leader.

Being brave means facing into the parts you hide, mask and confronting them.?

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These are the things that make you dodge the punches, the difficult decisions and hold back your leadership potential.

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Your judge.

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Your controller, avoider, hyper-achiever, stickler, people pleaser, restless, hyper rational, hyper vigilant and victim tendencies you’ve grown up with, it all starts with you.

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Here is the ten-minute free assessment that I wished had been invented so many years earlier when I took up my first leadership and leader of leaders positions.

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I invite you to try it – and start something good for yourself.?

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https://subscribepage.io/2w7ob9

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Or if you’d rather do this with me and let us discover and work through this together you can book time with me here www.ianbrowne.com

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Jo Amis

Employer Branding | On a mission to grow our employer brand, sharing amazing content and showing the world how great it is to work here | lloydsbankinggroup.com/careers

1 周

Great read Ian well done ????

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Grainne Longman CMgr FCMI

Next Gen Talent, Early Careers Lead in Lloyds Banking Group | Influencing the next generation of youth talent | Driving Social mobility and opportunities for all | Apprenticeship Ambassador

1 周

Another great read.

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