Leadership Reboot: 4 Ways We Sabotage Our Own Authority

It doesn’t take a study to know that the link between effective leadership and employee engagement runs deep. But it’s a lot of fun to use a superhero or television show or zombies to glean pointers from; sometimes it’s easier for a hero in comic-book spandex (men or women) than someone in a tangible suit. Why? Leading can be painful.

Yet we all face having to take the reins in some form. And some of us even want to: A recent Deloitte survey of 7,700 Millennials (from 29 countries) found that 63% are more apt to choose a job opportunity if it gives them a chance to develop leadership skills and take on a leadership role. There are others that put on the game face, hope they’re passing, and just kind of wing it. Don’t.

I know we’re all tired of being told what to do. Let’s focus on four unequivocal things not to do.

1. If you don’t buy your own story, no one else will.

If you’re not convinced, you won’t convince anyone. That troubling hashtag #amiright doesn’t do the trick: you’ve got to own it. The Harvard BusinessReview decided to pinpoint the key traits of innovative leaders. They happened to focus on a top telecommunications company, a field that eats weak authority for breakfast.

HBR located 33 individuals who colleagues, subordinates and bosses “graded” as on or above the 99th percentile in innovation. Winnowing down to bedrock qualities, they found 10, including a clear vision of the future and an unshakeable compass for doing the right thing, not to please superiors but because it’s right for the company. That kind of conviction is worth its weight in gold. Note, too, that innovation, which includes thinking outside the box, is still about effectively bringing your team with you on that renegade journey.

2. Don’t be tone-deaf.

We’ve all had that experience with a boss whose peculiar tone (or lack thereof) makes us want to walk/run/disappear/take over ourselves. Back to Deadpool, the antihero, that Marvel comics character marked by a serious tendency to biting sarcasm. The lesson: You’ve got to know your audience.

Why? People take being offended personally, but it translates into instant disengagement. What may be funny to you may not be to your employees. No need to alienate your team by letting loose a sharp tongue that bites too hard: sarcasm has a tendency to set everyone on edge — and erodes positive collaboration. Moreover, consider the blended workforce, and the fact that globalism is the new norm. Culturally, it’s just too much of a risk.

3. Don’t disown your own accountability. 

Accountability is the twin sibling to transparency. It’s also a biological imperative for leaders: hardwired into all of our survivor brains is the capacity for self-protection in the form of mutiny. The leader has to be where the buck stops; taking responsibility for actions and decisions made. And if you don’t convey your own accountability, you can’t expect your employees to show it — thus building in a glaring disconnect between employee engagement and a key metric.

4. You’re not an island.

Among the key stressors affecting leadership is the “I versus Us” approach. But the leader who stays tucked behind a desk isn’t really leading. As been pointed out for years now, effective management includes walking around. And it’s those myriad opportunities to reinforce and reward on the spot that prove the daily glue between multi-generational employees and deepening engagement, underscoring a workplace culture that energizes itself in a positive feedback loop.

Particularly in less hierarchical organizations, this is critical. When I looked at Basecamp, I found that it was the constant inclusivity of leadership that made all the difference. Even if it’s just to try on the leadership jacket for size, it’s an incredible incentive.

Authority is earned, I remember being told. But it takes a lot longer to earn it than to have it taken away. If you’re guilty of the four sins above, fix it right quick.

This post originally ran on Forbes on 2/20/16