LEADERSHIP IS NOT ABOUT PROVING YOURSELF, IT IS ABOUT EXPRESSING YOUR SELF

The world’s hunger for leadership has been growing for years. As never before, we need leaders in all our organizations, institutions and countries. They are the ones responsible for the effectiveness of organizations and represent much needed anchors during the change and upheaval of the past years.

If you have ever aspired to become a leader, now is the time.

Millions of corporate professionals strive for leadership. Many have even become workaholic and live under constant pressure. They need to constantly showcase their abilities and prove that they deserve their position or the next one they are pursuing.

In reality, many struggle to achieve the level of leadership they want for one major reason.

There is a universal law that says the more you chase something, the more it moves away from you. Alternatively, the more you don’t care about getting something, the more it falls into your lap.

Crazy, huh?

Not so much.

When we want something so bad, we tend to live under extreme pressure to perform and prove ourselves. We live under the fear of making mistakes, being rejected and ultimately failing. We walk on eggshells with others all day long. In a nutshell, we live in fear.

People we interact with subconsciously sense it and interpret it as a lack of belief in ourselves so they wonder why they should believe in us. They mirror that fear by not giving us that promotion, not raising that scope, nor giving us the resources we need.

Instead of caring so much, we need to relax a bit more.

We can work towards that promotion, that next role without the stress and pressure we create by ourselves for ourselves.

Ask yourself this question: have they benefited you in any way? Did they make getting what you want easier?

Honest answers to these questions should be “No”.

I often give my clients the example of cats when it comes to achieving their goals (and yes, I’m a huge cat lover!). What do cats have to do with a leaders’ mindset?

Everything.

They set a goal and go after it with grace and focus. They are alone with their goals. Nothing else matters. Their mind is empty. They give 100% of their attention to their target. 0% of their attention goes to what other cats might think of them or what sorrows tomorrow could bring if they fail.

Of course, as they are part of nature, their goals serve the greater good, which always should be the case when it comes to leadership.

Obviously, I am aware there is a huge difference between cats and human beings when it comes to our numerous and complex psychological and biological differentiations but aren’t they modeling something valuable to us though?

Pursue your goals with no fear nor expectations, whether it is convincing others, failure or rejection.

Be present. Deploy yourself, express yourself, strike hard and then relax.

Leadership isn’t about proving yourself. It is less about doing and more about being. This is the opposite of what society has conditioned us to believe.

No true leader decided to be a leader. At some point, people decide to live their lives, express themselves fully. When that expression increasingly conveyed value, they became leaders.

Ultimately, the goal is not to be a leader.

The goal is to be yourself, to use yourself completely, with all your talents, gifts and abilities.

Letting the self emerge is an essential task of a leader. The task isn’t about proving nor convincing. It is about expressing who you’ve always been, regardless of all your fears, societal and cultural conditionings.

Most of us don’t listen to ourselves, we listen to the voice of our parents, of the establishment or any other authority figure. The more we listen to it, the more astray we become. This is why today, so many people want to become leaders. Deep down, they know they have lost themselves following a voice that isn’t their own.

The best leaders reflect on their lives in order to understand themselves better and make different and better choices.

These leaders have proved not only the necessity but the efficacy of self-awareness, self-reflection and following their intuition rather than their fear.

It is essential to make space amidst the daily chaos to meet ourselves.

Only then can we face and overcome the fears that overpower our confidence in our ability to achieve our goals. ??

Without fear, we are free to be who we have always been.

In this way, organizations are transformed. Society as a whole is transformed.

When it comes to leadership, expressing the self fully is the only way we have.

Hasnaa Akabli

Executive and Leadership Coach, PCC (ICF)