Leadership Presence

How important is peace of mind to you? How important is having time to reflect and do the deep work that makes all the difference in quality outcomes??

How important is asserting yourself? And doing so in a dignified way, a way that’s potentially even empowering.

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The secret to asserting yourself in an uplifting way is (doing so with) peace of mind, not frustration, exasperation, or any form of disquiet. The secret to peace of mind is presence, presence in a pragmatic sense - not showy, ostentatious, or pretentious “presence.”? Here’s what I mean. Check this out in your own experience.

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When you have a clear mind, and you ask someone why they didn’t do what they were supposed to, they respond with the truth. But when you ask someone why they didn’t do what they were supposed to with criticism, disappointment, or threat in your mind, they respond in an unproductive manner (like the child in the photo above).

Likewise, when you request that someone does you a favor with embarrassment, neediness, or a sense of entitlement in your mind, they have a skewed reaction. But when you request with a clear mind that someone does you a favor, they are more likely to be willing to oblige you.

Okay, so how do I get this elusive clarity of mind, this pragmatic presence?

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In the heat of the moment:?

Plug your mind into one of the senses (touch, smell, taste, sound). The senses only work in the present. You can’t taste last night’s dinner today; you can’t smell tomorrow ‘s coffee now. When your attention is consumed by the information right in front of you, it’s no longer accessing the thoughts and attitudes in the mind.

Think of the Japanese tea ceremony, where the tea maker is completely absorbed in the touch, smell, taste, and sound of what she’s doing. There’s no room in that moment for self-doubt, judgment, or anxiety.

Long-term:?

Doubting yourself, judging, anxiousness—whatever thought patterns cloud your mind, preventing you from being present—are habits. You’ve developed them by repetition. In the very same way, you will develop clarity and presence by practicing at it diligently. Just as you’re not always doubting, judging, or anxious, so likewise, you cannot expect to pop into to lasting presence. It will come and go. However, the more moments you spend practicing being present, the more presence you will have in your life.

I offer a COMPLIMENTARY coaching session to discuss techniques, tools, applications, and metrics for cultivating presence, so you can assert yourself powerfully. Reply to this email, call 303 747 4449, or go to?www.listeningisthekey.com?and click on the pop-up invitation to contact me.

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In other urgent news,?Leadership Growth?starts February 12th. This group coaching program is the?affordable path?to your fullness as leader. It's an intense and fun three-month program which gives you clarity about what's in the way of realizing your leadership potential, and?what to do about it. Go to?https://www.listeningisthekey.com/leadership-growth-program?and let Dr Kettelhut?guide?you to authentically empower everyone and everything that's most valuable to you in this life, and gracefully let go of everything else.

Do you know someone who's interested in getting clarity about how to communicate effectively, the right actions to take the lead,?and?how to sustain accountability? Call 303 747 4449 to find out more about?Leadership Growth, or go to?https://www.listeningisthekey.com/leadership-growth-program?to see?the curriculum outline,?specific outcomes you can expect, as well as what others are saying about the program.

The curriculum works best with a small group, so there are limited spots available.?Starts February 12th, so register today! ?Transform?your relation to leadership?in the next 90 days?- whether you want to manage your business better, be a better spouse or parent, or make a difference in the community.

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I recognize that some folks prefer to work with a coach one-on-one. Reply to this email or call 303 747 4449 and request a one-hour?Gift?(meaning, no cost)?Coaching Session. No further obligation. You’ll get huge value and a test drive of transformational coaching geared to your needs. ?

Sincerely, Martin Kettelhut, PhD 303 747 4449 [email protected] https://www.listeningisthekey.com/