The Leadership Pendulum

If there’s one leadership principle I’d encourage you to pay attention to, it’s this:

Great leaders live in the AND, not the OR.

Everything exists on a spectrum, integrating contradictory behaviors, characteristics, and competencies.

Effective leadership is rarely a choice between two extremes—more often, it’s the ability to hold opposing forces in tension.

The best leaders don’t settle for either/or thinking—they blend antagonistic traits, disciplines, strategies, and tactics.

Otherwise, a leader becomes subject to a default human tendency—one-sided thinking and overcorrecting.

The Overcorrection Trap

James was a brilliant software engineer—one of those rare minds who could see far ahead in product development while knowing how to execute.

When he founded his startup, he poured himself into the details, ensuring that every line of code, every marketing decision, and every product roadmap aligned with his vision.

As the company grew, so did his team. Ten people now looked to him for leadership.

However, James struggled to transition from an individual contributor to a leader. He insisted on approving every minor decision, including product features, marketing copy, code reviews, and sprint planning.

His team started to feel suffocated as if their judgment didn’t matter. Morale dropped. Frustration grew.

A senior engineer pulled him aside one day: “James, we need to know you trust us. You hired us for a reason—let us do our jobs.”

James felt his chest tighten. “I do trust you. I want to make sure everything is right.”

“Right, according to whose standards? Only yours? We’re burning out trying to meet your expectations of perfection.”

That feedback hit hard. As he swallowed the surge of defensiveness, James finally realized he was holding on too tightly.

Determined to make his team feel heard, he shifted his approach. He would be more hands-off, empowering his team with complete autonomy.

“I trust you all,” he told his team in a Monday stand-up. “From now on, I’ll focus on our client relationships and future product strategy. You have full autonomy to execute how you see fit.”

Relief washed over their faces. His senior engineer offered an affirming nod and smile. And then, everything went downhill.

At first, his team felt liberated. But within weeks, cracks began to show.

Without clear guidance, priorities became unclear, deadlines slipped, mistakes piled up, and the team started feeling abandoned instead of empowered. By the time James noticed, momentum had stalled.

His attempt to fix the problem had created a different one. The looks were no longer resentment—they were looking for guidance that wasn’t there.

Frustrated, he wondered: “I listened to the feedback and made the change—so where did I go wrong?”

He overcorrected.

Shifting from one extreme to another, he likely asks himself, “Should I be more involved in the details OR be more hands-off?”

Leadership behaviors, especially those driven by either/or thinking, often resemble a pendulum. To correct the problem, we push too far in the opposite direction. But as a pendulum in motion, the momentum of our reaction carries us past the equilibrium point— the balanced approach—into another extreme.

The further we swing one way, the more forcefully we’re pulled back in the other direction when the inevitable opposing challenges arise.

The goal is to slow the pendulum, recognize the forces at play, and prevent overcorrection. Instead of reacting with broad, sweeping changes, we make minor, measured adjustments that bring stability rather than whiplash.

Slowing the Pendulum

Every leader must walk a blurred line. That’s what makes leadership so hard.

Too often, leadership is perceived as black and white—this or that. The reality is that leadership is in the AND, not the OR. Leadership is in the gray.

It requires navigating the dichotomy of seemingly contradictory actions, characteristics, and principles.

The key is developing situational awareness and learning to see both ends of the spectrum, making iterative adjustments instead of drastic shifts.

Without awareness, the pendulum continues to swing, and the inability to see the contrast persists, where the most mistakes are made.

Effective leaders eventually learn to slow the pendulum by seeing things differently. They realize that nearly any situation they face can be divided into a set of dichotomies that must be balanced.

To operate in the AND, leaders must:

• Be ready to lead AND ready to follow
• Be decisive AND ensure the team feels heard
• Build an influential culture AND an effective business
• Be calm AND willing to show emotion
• Be confident AND humble
• Be courageous AND measured in risk-taking
• Have the desire to win AND the ability to respond to failure
• Take ownership AND delegate effectively
• Build character AND competence
• Harmonize life/family AND career growth
• Be disciplined AND flexible
• Work hard AND recharge

The Skill of Managing the Tension

In James’ example, although he had pure intent, he failed to navigate the tension between ownership and delegation, giving the pendulum too much momentum.

He should have considered his team’s feedback AND recognized that being completely hands-off as CEO would have detrimental consequences.

This concept is simple to describe but not easy to execute.

Building awareness and getting comfortable with operating in the gray areas takes time, experience, repetition, and mistakes. However, once we see it, we can’t unsee it.

Managing dichotomies becomes a skill that allows us to proactively recognize these situations and find a tailored approach that suits our leadership style.

By recognizing the contradictions in nearly every situation and learning to operate within them, we cultivate resilience, adaptability, and trust.

We improve our ability to lead strategy and vision, guide our teams, and show up as the leaders we intend to be.

Leadership is about trust, relationships, and influence. One-sided thinking is the antagonist to creating this foundation.

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