The Leadership Paradox

"Great leaders are typically emotionally intelligent and great negotiators, but ultimately, flawed." 

Current Knowledge/Bias

“Some much of what we understand in the world around us is coloured by the misconceptions and prejudices we start with.” – W.C.H. Prentice

It is common to assume and expect that the individuals we hold in positions of authority, and as leaders are infallible and perfect, this is not necessarily the case, and they are very much fallible and imperfect. It is understandable that in a bid to maintain our sanity and security as a part of an organization, we instinctively need to create these projections about the Leadership and expect them to conform to it. However, it is much more liberating and realistic to acknowledge that alongside their strengths and stunning prowess, they have struggles, weaknesses, and flaws that they carry along in their leadership journey.

“A great leader possesses a clear vision, is courageous, has integrity, honesty, humility and clear focus.” - Forbes

However, in true essence, a leader is not yet ‘great’ until they accept their flaws and imperfections. The true spirit of Leadership is in how the balance between these two opposites is achieved. The strive for a balance between these positive and negative aspects is what brings our authenticity. This encourages collaboration[1], and it engenders trust in Leadership[2]. The quality of Leadership is not complete without the weaknesses and flaws of the individual.

Essentially, We Are Leaders, “We all are Leaders”. We exhibit our capacity to be leaders even in minor things, like arranging our siblings’ room or walking the Labrador Retriever. Leadership do not necessarily have to be in the form of a grandmaster orchestrating organizational goals, empowered by the power vested upon it by the structure, not always at least. In fact, the true test of Leadership is in these smallest moments where the consequence of bad Leadership is seemingly small and inconsequential.

In this essay, I intend to discuss the quote exhaustively. To do this, I would explore who a Leader is and what attributes constitute one. I would then talk about what makes a leader great and the mechanics of great Leadership. Thirdly, I would discuss the flaws of a good leader while establishing theoretical foundations from the MBTI personality framework and Physiological flaws. I would then wrap up with Solutions, ways to move forward, and non-solutions (what should be avoided).

Who is a Leader?

“The man who successfully marshals his human collaborators to achieve particular ends is a leader. … “ – W.C.H. Prentice (Prentice, 1961)

A leader seeks to build a win-win relationship with his followers (subordinates). In this scenario, the followers can find personal interest in the shared interest and goals of the group. Due to this, a leader drives the expected results, not through their sole strength, but through the willing support from the followers. The Leader majorly plays the role of the Facilitator, harmonizing the mental and emotional capacities of its followers towards driving the achievement of the groups’ objective while ensuring satisfaction from every individual in the group. (Prentice, 1961)

However, Leadership is entirely different and contrary to what the word suggests and is only partly related or concerned with the Leader. According to Kenwyn Smith[3] (Professor at UPenn), Leadership is concerned with the leaders, the followers, and the group dynamics: actions and inactions between them.[4]

Attributes of a Leader

Of the myriad of qualities attributed to a Leader, only three will be mentioned here,

Motivation

In leadership dynamics, motivation is a very crucial component, and this decides how the relationship between the Leader and the followers plays out. When followers are motivated using rewards and threats, it results in an unhealthy scour for results without consideration for others. This ‘push’ form of motivation creates a culture of single-minded pursuit for results and exhausts everyone in the end. It is not sustainable. However, when followers are motivated by individual and shared interests, there is high productivity and a more effective pursuit for achievement[5]. This ‘pull’ creates an environment where every individual identifies their interests and goals in their contribution to the team’s goals and has a clear understanding of how their tasks contribute to the larger goal. This brings forth satisfaction and happiness in every team member, and it is the most sustainable source of motivation.[6]

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, comprehend and manage one’s own emotions and those of others[7]. Individuals with high levels of Emotional Intelligence can monitor their feelings and take steps to manage them and remain productive regardless of the circumstance[8]. According to Goleman, there are five daughter facets of Emotional Intelligence are Self Awareness, Social Skills, Self-Regulation, Motivation, and Empathy[9].

Negotiation

A great leader knows to negotiate and knows how to do it well. He knows how to interact with relevant stakeholders to work out terms that satisfy the team’s concerns and increase the likelihood of achieving their shared goal[10]. From negotiating the organizations’ vision to negotiating relationships, a leader handles them considerably well[11]. Crucial to negotiation is ‘Asking the right questions, and a leader employs a broad knowledge base and critical thinking skills to ask the right questions.

These are what make a good Leader. I would ask as food for thought, what makes a Leader a Great Leader? We’ll get back to this later in this essay.

A Great Leader

“A great leader is one who can do so day after day, and year after year, in a wide variety of circumstances.” -W.C.H. Prentice.

A great leader consistently delivers remarkable results, empowered by the willing support of the teams. This spells Reliability, i.e., excellent, consistent results produced over time, and Pervasiveness, i.e., excellent results in a wide variety of circumstances and areas. (Prentice, 1961) For a Leader to become ‘Great’, he needs to develop the ability to deliver excellent results across time and space consistently. For this to happen, there is a need to imbibe a consistent belief system that harmonizes both the internal world of the Leader and his external surroundings. The Hallmark of ‘Pervasive-reliability’ is Inner dominion and External victory. (Covey, 1989)

The mechanics of a Great Leadership.

Inner dominion

Inner dominion is the crest of Self Awareness, a facet of Emotional Intelligence. It requires a good knowledge of your internal environment: the strengths, weaknesses, fears, motivations, and flaws of the individual; an utter acceptance of them and their conflicting polarity; and lastly, the creative management of their internal environments (mental and emotional), such that they are in control, and aren’t swayed by them. In this, the strength of character is built. Attaining an inner harmony with their fears, imperfections, flaws, strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and everything that constitutes the individual unleashes a great deal of power, authenticity, and a colossal capacity to trust and build relationships. It is the first battle to be won to be a great leader.

External victory.

External victory concerns building and maintaining healthy interactions with people and the external world. It is driven towards attaining personal fulfillment: the collective aspiration of your internal environment: fears and motivations; attained through effective collaboration and Leadership. A great leader develops both the technical and interpersonal skills necessary to drive the team’s results, powered by the willing support of the followers. By external victory, the Leader develops the capacity to respond appropriately in a way that aligns with his deepest convictions and values, and this keeps him in the state of continuous harmony with his environment: people and ideas, exemplifying external virtues such as Grit, Humility, Passion, Focus, and Consideration, and influencing the team and the organization with them.

Else:

“Great Leaders know that they are not perfect” - HBR[12]

Leaders fail to become ‘great’ due to several reasons, of relevant note is Perfectionism[13]: believing that they should be without flaws or that they should constantly strive for them. Perfectionism affects most Leaders today, but they originate partly from the followers, creating a vicious cycle of unending Perfectionism. Essentially, there are two drivers for this phenomenon: followers who hold ‘never flawed expectations of a leader and a leader who is not Self Aware or who hasn’t come to terms with his flaws and inner fears that make him human. These followers project unrealistic expectations to the leaders. These leaders in seeking every validation for the pursuit of perfection, sense this and strive to attain it by creating unfair standards for their followers. This results in a culture where there is low tolerance for mistakes and experimentation, and the followers withdraw their support and stay vigilant for deficiencies and opportunities to pounce on any executive misstep—resulting in a vicious cycle of Perfectionism. A study by Ron Carucci of Harvard Business Review discovered that 67% of respondents struggled with ‘micromanagement’, a common symptom of a culture of vicious Perfectionism. (Carucci, 2015)

What flaws we speak of.

“There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. That’s how the light gets in.” — Leonard Cohen

The truth.

If I describe a man as ambitious, an excellent executor, passionate, and fearless[14], you’d get one picture of him. But, if I describe another as forceful, impatient, immoderate, and paranoid[15], you’d likely imagine a totally different person. We could probably describe our first imagination as a high-performer -a Streaking Star, who probably owns a billion-dollar company, pioneers defining breakthroughs in the engineering of communication devices, and drives considerable influence amid his company and the public. Closely related to our conception of the other could be a man who is a nuisance to family and friends -a pain in the neck, who probably drives co-workers and subordinates crazy, almost manic, obsessive, abrasive, unsupportive, and a maker of bad decisions.

Yet, both are one man: Steve Jobs. At first, it might be a little difficult to reconcile all these qualities into one man; we probably never even thought of it, but at the mention of Steve Jobs, it becomes fairly easier. It is likely that the initial difficulty in reconciling both sets of attributes in one person was due to the extreme polarity of these attributes, and this was worsened by there not being an easy example to point to at first.

We therefore should acknowledge the influence of our prior prejudices and expectations influence our expectation of a leader, and how they should be and not be. Also, on the flip side, we should also know that since we also possess an opposite slew of attributes as this, that the potential for great Leadership is not very far from our grasp, and we should not chase perfection, but we should chase amalgamation and collaboration.

Theoretical Foundations

In establishing a theoretical foundation for the flaws that exist in Good Leaders, I would take the Myer-Briggs Personality Type (MBTI) 16 personality types and talk from the fourth function of these types.

Myer-Briggs Personality Type (MBTI)

The MBTI is a personality typing system developed by Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs that categorizes the population into 16 personality types. Each of these types is defined by four functions and in an order of strength of preference for constituting their functions stack. Broadly, every type has four letters coined from these preferences: Introversion or Extraversion, Intuitive or Sensing, Thinking or Feeling, Judging or Perceiving, however in their function-stack their preferences are in these forms; Introverted Sensing or Introverted Intuition, Extraverted Sensing or Extraverted Intuition, Extraverted Thinking or Extraverted Feeling, and Introverted Thinking or Introverted Feeling. This combination results in 16 personality types each with four function-stacks each unique in composition and order of preference[16].

A unique and relevant property of this typing system is that for each of the types, the fourth function of the stack is considered the attribute least developed, due to having the least preference, and due to the individual’s strong natural preference for the first function of the stack, the underdeveloped fourth constitutes a weakness, a flaw, and we all have it, or so the chart below says. When we are put in situations where we have to use our flaw-function, we fall under extreme stress due to the effort it demands, and our lack of experience in such scenarios.

·       For the ENTJ, their flaw is in Introverted Feeling.

·       For the INFP, their flaw is in Extraverted Thinking.

·       For the ISTP, their flaw is in Extraverted Feeling.

·       For the ESFJ, their flaw is in Introverted Thinking.

We can check here, for more information on what the above means.

However, this flaw can be developed over time but not till perfection, and it requires patience and deliberate consistency. This causes a number of persons to shy away from its realization and instead focus on using the initial functions to compensate for any gap that might create. If done in an unhealthy way, may result in poor results[17]. However, to achieve optimum results in work and life, the individual first needs to acknowledge that there is a flaw somewhere and then develop strategies to manage situations where they are compelled to use their weak function and are vulnerable.

Physiological Limitations

Aside from the flaws that result from our personality, which we have little control over, there are others that we do not avail us even little control over. They mostly result from a specific psychological or physiological condition that we live through. In these situations, there is little to no hope of development. These conditions range from controllable conditions such as Depression and Anxiety to dire non-controllable conditions such as Autism, Asperger’s syndrome, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Cerebral Palsy[18].

These conditions across the individual spectrum exist in every one of us, and they define who we are. They define our uniqueness, and they have the power to either crush us or make us powerful.

A.    Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King both had bouts of Depression, and they changed America[19]

B.     Stephen Hawking had Cerebral Palsy that rendered him physically inactive, but he used the inactivity to come up with groundbreaking theories.

C.     Steve Jobs could channel his Narcissism and Forceful personality to design and develop devices that revolutionized communication globally.

D.    Greta Thunberg the Environmental Advocate has Asperger’s and high-functioning OCD, which had rendered her unable to perceive non-verbal communication. She channeled this flaw to boldly advocate for the environment and not get fazed by the authority of international-intergovernmental organizations.[20]

Solutions: How do we as leaders move forward with our flaws?

Amalgamation (Internal)

There is a need to acknowledge and accept these flaws as a part of ourselves, and that without them we aren’t whole. This involves bringing together the different parts of ourselves into one harmonious whole. Amalgamation.

Collaboration (External)

Once we have accepted who we are and the flaws that define us, it is important that we find people whose strengths complement our weaknesses and whose weaknesses our strengths complement. No one can be good at everything, and the presence of weaknesses due to our personality and physiological conditions that we might be subjected to makes it even less likely. Therefore, it is important that to achieve our goals and inner aspirations, we should collaborate with individuals who complement our flaws and handle where we deficit, and vice versa.

Non-solutions: What we do not do with these flaws.

It is not uncommon, for leaders to react in unproductive ways when they get an idea of some imperfection and flaws in themselves. There is three major ways in which they react;

A.    Deny the existence of any flaws.

B.     Lose control of their flaws and let them control their Leadership.

C.     Adopt a fixed mindset that they could never grow at managing these flaws.

These ways lead to a perpetual state of dissatisfaction in Leadership at home and at work and should be avoided.

Conclusion

In all our discoveries of Leadership, perhaps our two most pivotal realizations about Leadership will be first, that Great Leaders are essentially flawed. Secondly, we are Leaders, flawed, and have the potential to be a Great one. While it is difficult to acknowledge and accept our flaws as a part of us, it is a necessary step to take. In our personal and professional leadership journey, we should devote our energies to understanding ourselves, our inner motivations/demotivation, and to collaboration and interpersonal relationships because we can only find our true whole in authentic collaboration with leaders who complement our weaknesses and flaws.

References

The references are attached in the footnotes.

[1] https://www.bluebeyondconsulting.com/2016/02/wanted-leaders-who-are-flawed-and-know-it/

[2] (relationship between a leader and its followers) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKHMbBhNyZs

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKHMbBhNyZs

[4] ‘The amount of literature on Leadership is astronomical, while the amount of literature on Followership is infinitesimal. This is a problem’ Ibid – Kenwyn Smith (Professor of Organizational Behavior at the University of Pennsylvania)

[5] https://www.impraise.com/blog/how-to-motivate-and-inspire-your-team-to-achieve-better-results

[6] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/287481309_The_Role_of_Leadership_in_Employee_Motivation. I. Naile and J.M. Selesho, “The role of leadership in employee motivation,” Mediterr. J. Soc. Sci., vol. 5, no. 3, pp. 175–182, 2014.

[7] https://inside.6q.io/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership/

[8] https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership

[9] https://inside.6q.io/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership/

[10] https://www.forwardfocusinc.com/inspire-leaders/7-leadership-negotiation-skills-to-make-the-breakthrough/

[11] https://www.pon.harvard.edu/freemium/real-leaders-negotiate-understanding-the-difference-between-leadership-and-management/

[12] https://hbr.org/2015/12/great-leaders-know-theyre-not-perfect

[13] https://hbr.org/2015/12/great-leaders-know-theyre-not-perfect

[14] https://www.entrepreneur.com/answer/226410

[15] https://www.sandersconsulting.com/8-unforgivable-leadership-mistakes-steve-jobs-made/

[16] Read more: https://www.verywellmind.com/the-myers-briggs-type-indicator-2795583#:~:text=The%20Myers%2DBriggs%20Personality%20Type,Jung's%20theory%20of%20personality%20types

[17] https://mbti-notes.tumblr.com/development

[18] https://www.npr.org/2011/08/20/139681339/madness-and-leadership-hand-in-hand

[19] https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-08-great-leaders-mental-illness-.html

[20] https://www.dnaindia.com/world/report-greta-thunberg-farmers-protest-tweet-aspergers-syndrome-autism-2873353