Leadership is Lonely...If You Allow It To Be

“Leadership is lonely.” I’ve heard this leadership mantra said for decades. It’s a tried & true axiom of leadership. It’s definitely tried. But is it really true? 

All too often, the answer to that question for many leaders is, “Yes…it’s absolutely true. Leadership IS lonely. Nobody understands the pressure I’m under. Nobody can appreciate the weight I carry. I can’t let anybody into my head & heart because it could cost me. Transparency kills leadership.”

I get it. Trust me. There are moments when I have felt all alone as a leader. There are moments when I felt like I couldn’t be transparent about what I’m going through. There are moments when I felt like I had to wear a mask to pretend that everything was okay.

That I have everything under control.

That I know where we are going.

That I know how to get there.

That I can do it.

Alone.

Because I must. Because I’m the leader. Because it’s my job. Because leadership is lonely…if I allow it to be so. 

Here’s the reality, though. Leadership is lonely only if we don’t truly understand leadership. The greatest leaders recognize they are never alone and they never have been alone. We all stand on the shoulders of others. 

No leader has risen to a position of leadership on their own. Every leader stands on the shoulders of others. They stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before them. They stand on the shoulders of their team members. They stand on the shoulders of those who follow them. They stand on the shoulders of their mentors & closest friends. They stand on the shoulders of their family.

Leadership should never be lonely. Recognize those people that surround you and invite them into your journey.

Learn from those leaders who came before you. Discover what worked & what didn’t work in their leadership. Gain wisdom by studying the past.

Learn from those leaders around you. Accept the fact that you don’t know everything and that even on your greatest day of leadership, you are still only as good as the team you build.

Learn from those you lead. Leaders always hear from the loudest in the crowd. Who we don’t often hear from are the still, small voices that are begging to be heard. Create listening posts which allow you to hear everyone’s voice.

Learn from your mentors & closest friends. Invite them to speak into your life & leadership. Oftentimes, the most difficult person to lead is yourself. We all have blind spots. We all need close confidants with permission to affirm our strengths and point out our weaknesses.

Learn from your family. Like a canary in a mineshaft, our family is often the first warning sign if we begin to falter in life & leadership. Watch for the telltale signs that predict leadership success or failure.

Leadership should never be lonely. Invite others to join you on your leadership journey. Invite them to walk alongside you. To learn from you but also to teach you. To help carry the weight of leadership. Together.

No leader is ever a solo act. If you are then you aren’t a leader. As John Maxwell once said, “If you think you’re leading, but no one is following, then you are only taking a walk.”