Leadership Lessons: What I Wish I Knew Sooner

Introduction

I’m still a work in progress, and I always will be. Leadership isn’t about reaching a pinnacle where you have all the answers—it’s a continuous journey of learning, adjusting, and growing. The best leaders never stop evolving, and I’ve learned that firsthand.

Some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned didn’t come from success—they came from my mistakes. And many of those mistakes were made clear to me through the candid feedback of people around me. I’m forever grateful for their honesty, even when it was tough to hear. Their feedback helped me grow, and I hope these insights can do the same for you.

Looking back, I’ve realized that leadership isn’t about titles, authority, or being the smartest person in the room. It’s about people, trust, and making an impact that lasts beyond your presence. Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way.

The Foundation of Leadership: Self-Awareness & Growth

1. Be Vulnerable – Leadership requires a level of honesty that isn’t always comfortable. Admitting you don’t have all the answers makes you more relatable and fosters trust.
2. Don’t Be Sensitive – Feedback will come from all directions. Assume no harm at first. The best insights will often come from your team—listen without letting your ego get in the way.
3. Trust is Earned, Not Given – People believe what they see, not what they hear. Walk the talk. This simple truth will define your credibility as a leader.
4. You Don’t Need a Title to Be a Leader – Leadership is about influence, not hierarchy. If you’re waiting for a title to start leading, you’re missing the point.
5. Authenticity Always Wins – I once asked a CEO his personal mantra, and he told me, "No one can beat you at being you." Those words have stuck with me—be unapologetically yourself.
6. Figure Out How to Say Less and Make a Bigger Impact – A VP once reshaped my perspective with one simple lesson: the fewer words you use, the more impact they have. Make your communication count.

Trust & Communication: The Core of Leadership

1. It’s Easy to Look Through the Window, But the Answers Are Typically in the Mirror – It’s tempting to blame outside factors when things go wrong, but real leadership is about self-reflection.
2. Understand Responsibility vs. Accountability – If someone mows your yard, you’re not responsible for mowing it—but you’re accountable for it being done. Leadership operates the same way.
3. If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, Any Road Will Take You There – Leadership requires clear direction. Develop a cadence to align your team.
4. Don’t Be Interesting, Be Interested – Leadership isn’t about proving yourself. I learned this the hard way when an employee quit and told me I was the reason. I wasn’t leading—I was making everything about me.

Empowering Your Team

1. Walk Slowly Through the Crowd – Know your people. Greet them by name. Check in before assigning tasks. Small gestures build long-term trust.
2. Be Selfish About Your Time – Leadership doesn’t mean 100-hour work weeks, but it also doesn’t mean neglecting your role. True servant leadership starts with self-leadership—setting boundaries and prioritizing what matters so you can show up fully for your team. The time you spend with your family is borrowed—don’t let them take a backseat.
3. There is Freedom in Routine – Get up, set priorities, and start your day with intention. It will make all the difference.
4. Make Deposits Before You Take Withdrawals – If you don’t invest in people, they won’t be receptive to your feedback. Earn the right to deliver constructive criticism.
5. Vertical Growth Isn’t a Ladder; It’s a Lily Pad – The best leaders don’t just climb—they move laterally, gaining new perspectives and skill sets along the way. Growth isn’t just about moving up, it’s about knowing when to pivot to gain experiences that will prepare you for the next level.
6. Have a Personal Board of Directors – Growth doesn’t happen alone. Surround yourself with people who challenge and elevate you.

Making Smart Decisions & Taking Action

1. Honesty is Always the Best Policy—But Proceed with Caution – Trust is built on honesty, but delivery matters. Bluntness without empathy can damage relationships, while tailored communication ensures your message is heard and applied effectively. Not every leader, peer, or team member will be ready for unfiltered feedback.
2. Residual Self-Image – If you just got promoted, don’t remind your team how you did their job. Give them the space to figure it out.
3. Move Slow to Move Fast – Reacting too quickly creates unnecessary problems. Thoughtful leaders move with intention.
4. Opposites Attract – Seek out people who challenge your thinking. The best leaders don’t surround themselves with clones.
5. Never Be the Smartest Person in the Room – If you are, you’re in the wrong room. Growth happens when you’re challenged.
6. You’re Great, But… – Not everyone will think like you, work like you, or process things like you. Your goal is to get 100% effort from each person in their best way, not yours.

The Daily Choice to Lead

1. Most People Do Not Wake Up Planning to Be Mediocre – If someone isn’t meeting expectations, start by checking two key things: Have you set clear, realistic expectations? Have you empowered them with the tools and support they need? More often than not, underperformance stems from misalignment rather than lack of effort. Start by checking if they truly understand expectations.
2. Be a Servant Leader – Shift your mindset—your job is to work for your team, not the other way around.
3. Recognize What You Measure – Public and private recognition drives performance and morale.
4. Superheroes Are in the Movies – If you’re newly promoted, don’t try to do everything yourself. Leverage your team and functional partners.
5. Mentors Aren’t Your Boss – A good mentor has no immediate stake in your success, making their guidance invaluable.
6. The Three Buckets Rule – Every professional relationship should fit into one of these buckets:

• Mentor: Guides your career.
• Propeller: Works to get you promoted.
• Champion: Talks positively about you when you’re not in the room.

Final Thought: Leadership is a Ripple Effect

Every interaction, decision, and conversation leaves an imprint. Some of the best leaders I’ve worked with shaped me in ways they’ll never know.

Leadership is a mix of long hours, tough calls, and moments where you’re the mentor, coach, friend, and counselor all in one. But a single moment of guidance can change the trajectory of someone’s career or life. That’s the real impact of leadership.

What leadership lessons have shaped you? Drop them in the comments—I’d love to hear them!