Leadership lessons: A tribute to my mother

As I sit down to relax for the evening at home, I can’t help but reflect on how grateful I am for my mother’s recent move to New Jersey. It has allowed us to share small but special moments together as a family, like tonight when she joined me, my husband, and our kids for Sunday dinner.

It’s no secret to those that know me—my mother has been the most influential figure in my life. She instilled values in me that have shaped me and positioned me for success in my life, both personally and professionally. She is present in the way I approach motherhood, leadership, advocacy for things that matter to me, and relationships.

As I watched her chat with my kids tonight, I thought about the profound impact she’s had on me and, as a result, the impact she’s had on virtually everyone in my life. The ripple effect of our relationship is immense—she has contributed not only to my success, but that of countless others.

On International Women’s Day, we rightfully celebrate the accomplishments of amazing people who have literally changed our world—leaders, scientists, teachers, activists, and others at the forefront of the most important issues of their times. I can’t help but wonder about the factors that contributed to the women we celebrate today. Who taught them to believe in themselves? Where did their passion come from? Why did they persevere in the face of adversity? Who did they rely upon for support and who challenged them to be the best versions of themselves?

I suspect we all have a person or group of people who fill these roles in our lives. For me, it’s undoubtedly my mom and I can’t think of a more fitting way to celebrate International Women’s Day than by sharing a few of the leadership lessons I’ve learned from her.

You can be anything you want

My mother raised me to believe I could be anything I wanted to be. My mom grew up in a time when very few people and even fewer women went to college. In fact, she was told she couldn’t go to college. Her choices were to be a wife and mother or, if she did work, to limit her options to only a few jobs deemed accessible to women. She ultimately chose to be a stay at home mother of four, which, with me and my three brothers, was probably tougher than anything else she could have done. Once my siblings and I were older, she pursued her dreams and went back to college in her forties to earn her degree. She was my first role model—and a very powerful one! However, she also surrounded me with other powerful women so I could see that anything was possible.

I remember working alongside my mother on the campaign of the first woman to represent a major party as a Vice Presidential candidate, Geraldine Ferraro, handing out buttons and flyers with pride. Being a part of something so significant solidified for me what my mother had always told me—I could be anything I wanted to be. These experiences kept me grounded and taught me anything is attainable with hard work and dedication.

Goals – Say it and claim it

My mother taught me to dream big and pursue my goals with passion. My mom also taught me dreaming isn’t enough—a goal isn’t a goal until you say it out loud. Throughout my career, I’ve taken her advice and shared my goals with people who were in a position to help. A few years ago, I raised my hand and suggested that Deloitte undertake a significant audit transformation effort. At the time “audit” and “innovation” were not words that commonly appeared together. I was asked to essentially create a new vision from scratch and bring it to life in our business. It was one of the biggest risks of my career, but also one of the moments that gives me the most pride.

When it comes to achievements, my mom also encouraged me to claim what I do. As women I think sometimes we put our head down, work hard, and then wonder why another person was recognized for work where we have contributed significantly or why we got passed over for an opportunity. It’s okay to make it clear that you are adding value and are ready for the next challenge.

Building relationships and connecting with others

My mother’s actions, and the actions of the powerful women she surrounded me with, also taught me that one of the most impactful things I could do is connect with people. Each woman has unique strengths she brings to the professional world—whether it’s a unique way of communicating and leading, or collaborating, teaming, and lifting others into the spotlight. Through sharing stories and being vulnerable, women and men can create these valuable connections and build strong relationships.

As a new mother, I remember connecting with other new moms at the park, sharing stories about our sleepless nights and our worries. Although strangers in a park, we helped each other and became like old friends. I use this same skill in my current role as CEO of Deloitte’s US Audit & Assurance business to connect with colleagues and create a culture of inclusion. When we share our stories, we make ourselves vulnerable and allow others to feel included and valued for who they are.

The importance of well-being and self-care

As I have navigated my own journey, my mother has always reminded me that I cannot take care of other people unless I take care of myself first. Well-being and self-care are essential to all of us. Too often people associate these words with going to the gym or eating healthy. However, to me, it is about finding time to do what energizes you. This can be hard as we get caught up in life, fulfilling the many roles we may have as a mother, aunt, wife, daughter, colleague, friend, teammate, neighbor, etc. I try to make time to do the things that energize me, whether it’s making it home from a business trip in time to play in a softball game or having dinner with my family and my mother. I make these things a priority and make myself a priority so I have the energy to take care of my clients, my colleagues, and my loved ones.

International Women’s Day

Since its origination in the early 1900s, International Women’s Day has served as a day to celebrate the achievements of women, and as a call to action for accelerating gender parity. As the generations before me have done for me, I am passing along the lessons I have learned, and doing my part to be an inclusive leader to bring everyone along to make a change.

My mom always encouraged me to embrace my unique interests and abilities as my strengths. Said simply, she taught me that the things that made me different from others made me more valuable to them—an idea that is true for everyone. I have always believed we are stronger together than we are as individuals.

As you embark on your own journey, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and to look to mentors for guidance and advice. I encourage all leaders to pay it forward and bring others along on your journey and your successes…just as my mother did for me and I will do for my daughter.

Mom, there are not enough words to describe how important you are in my life, and you continue to influence how I live my life every day. Thank you for all you have done for me—I am forever grateful and I love you! 

Happy International Women’s Day to all! Feel free to comment and share the person or people who have inspired, encouraged, and guided you and the women in your life to achieve great things.

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