Leadership lessons learned as a first time soccer dad

Never in my 24 year old mind could I envision myself as a soccer dad. Fast forward a few years …ok maybe a few more years later and I’m standing on the sidelines at my four year old daughter’s first soccer game.  Surrounded by over caffeinated soccer moms and mini vans I enter into this unknown world not knowing what to expect. I was anticipating a pleasant morning with the scent of fresh cut grass floating in the air. Once again, I was taught a vital life lesson that morning; reminding me the fine lines between leadership, parenthood and the life of a soccer dad.

THERE IS CRYING IN SOCCER AND THAT’S OK….

My daughter cried during that game…a lot.  I was more concerned about her becoming dehydrated because of that over than over exerting herself physically.   I admit it. A pang of embarrassment washed over me knowing my child was the only one on the field crying. However, I quickly overcame my feeling after I put myself in her little soccer shoes and realized this was her first time. She was frightened, overwhelmed and wanted to shut down.

I knelt down and gave her a squeeze, she said that she was scared and wanted to give up. As I was holding her I told her “buddy, we are going to do this together and not quit, ok?” Through her sniffles she managed to say “Ok Daddy.” She grabbed my finger by her little hand and all we did was run up and down the field with the team. We didn’t play any soccer, but we didn’t give up.

“You may see me struggle but you will never see me quit.”

SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE

I was quickly brought back to reality when the “coach” from the opposing team yelled at me and said “get off the field.”  If you are not familiar with a four year old soccer “field” let me paint a picture for you. There is no goalie, no score is taken, it is essentially the Wild Wild West and anything goes.  So having a dad running up and down the field holding his daughter’s hand, probably is not the end of humanity.

I graciously walked up to the coach who, I can almost guarantee had the biggest most manly truck in the parking lot, and said” excuse me sir do you have an issue?” I am taking a slight artistic liberty with my verbiage but I can do that because this is my article. After a few minutes of enthusiastic discussion my daughter and I continued to run up and down the soccer field as we had previously done.  

As I reflected on this experience I was thinking how people change over time.  It is easy to stay the same. I am going to guess this coach’s behavior has been similar since his adolescence. He has taken the easy 'road never wavering from his habits, behavior and acts of persuasion to land him where he is today. He and I may have walked parallel path if I had not been thrust into situations that forced me out of my comfort zone and made me grow. Now I strive to find those areas that are uncomfortable so I can stretch and find personal development.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

HAVE TO

Finally the game was over! Since there was no score everyone wins! Rumor has it that that happens in real soccer as well? Don’t get me started on that. We have 5 more games to go in the cut throat nail biting season of the “Lion Sharks.”  The first words my daughter said to me were “Dad do I have to go anymore games?” I turned to her and said “Bud, no you don’t have to. You GET to.” “Ughh Daddy” she simply replied. A reply that I am sure will come for many years in the future.

How fascinating is it that we can take away the power of a statement by one word. If I HAVE to do something I immediately do not like it, no matter what it is. No one enjoys being told you HAVE to do something. The same goes with telling yourself you HAVE to do this or that.

Take the power away from the sentence and restore it to yourself. Now you GET to do this or you GET to do that. Now you have the power and you are in control, not this unknown entity imposing its will on you.

“Today I choose to become better than yesterday”

REWARD YOURSELF

To quote Alexander The Great “ I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep, I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.” Oh if he only knew how hard the mighty Lion Sharks fought that day on the soccer field of battle.  Like every great battle to the victors go the spoils, or in this case frosted cookies.

My daughter was spent. She was exhausted physically, emotionally, and psychologically. As she sat on the ground eating her frosted green cookie I sat next to her. I asked her she was enjoying her cookie. Her simple reply was “Daddy this is the best cookie I have ever had.”

She left her comfort zone and stuck it out when it got hard. Like everything in this world it is often starting something that is the most difficult. Yes, sometimes you need help getting through it, but at the end you can enjoy the success of sticking to it through the hard times. That is the most rewarding cookie there is.

“Success is what happens after you survived all the disappointments.”

#soccer #leadership #learning # lifelessons #dad #girlpower #feminism