Leadership lessons I learnt from my Mom

Leadership Lessons I Learnt from my Mom – A tribute to all Mothers on Mothers’ Day

?“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more & become more, you are a leader” – these words of John Quincy Adams could very easily be used to describe the untiring actions of my mother, who always inspired me to dream more, learn more & be more.

I believe that the most profound leadership lessons come, not from learnings & education in B-Schools, or from books or lectures, but instead from the people in our lives, who embody these qualities & values through their actions. If we are mindful & attentive, there is a lot to be learnt & often these lessons can be life-shaping. Recalling the words of John Quincy Adams, my mother was definitely a towering yet soft-spoken leader & personality in my life (even though she didn’t consciously know or feel the same).

As I reflect on my life & career, I recognize that there are many lessons, which I have learnt from my late mother (She passed away after a long battle with Cancer in 2007) , that have played a critical role in shaping me as a human being & have helped me in my leadership & personal journey.?

Here are a few which I find particularly relevant :

In the long run, Grit, rather than intellect, is a greater determinant of success?

Without doubt, my mother was one of the “grittiest” human beings, I have seen in my life. Grit is defined by the Psychologist Angela Duckworth as a combination of passion & perseverance. Passion is the strong sense of belief in what you want. Perseverance is being able to have the resilience to keep moving towards a goal, despite difficult challenges & road-blocks on the way.?

Coming from a lower middle-class family, my mother didn’t have the opportunity to pursue higher education and had to drop out after high school (something which she often regretted later in life), due to financial reasons. But her belief that higher education is the key to enduring success in life, contributed to her passion & perseverance to ensure that I get the best possible education. Despite several challenges on the financial front, she ensured that me & my brother??focus on the best quality education in the circumstances.?

Moreover, despite her own limitations, she developed a passion to teach & share knowledge with others. Her inability to pursue higher education did contribute to some self-limiting mental beliefs (for example, she often felt that she could be a better teacher, if she had a chance to complete her higher education & polish her English Speaking skills). She didn’t let those self-limiting beliefs come in the way of her passion though & persevered to teach through her own Tuition Academy where she went on to teach hundreds of primary school students for many years. This also helped her contribute to our family income, when my father was forced to take voluntary retirement & gave her a strong sense of self-belief & independence.

Later in life, when she battled with Cancer (for almost 10 years), she continued with her household chores & even with the Teaching, almost till the very last few days of her life (when she eventually couldn’t carry on physically)

Grit is undoubtedly an important component of success for leaders. In the long run, the most successful leaders are the ones who have the tenacity to break the chains of their self-limiting beliefs & the focus & perseverance to keep progressing towards their goals. I learnt from my mom, that to be successful, you don’t necessarily need to be a genius but instead you need to develop a fierce work ethic & to keep moving ahead with grit & determination.

?Lead with Love & Compassion??

My mom is fondly remembered even today, almost 15 years after she left us, more than anything else, because of her enormous compassion. She seemed to have an unlimited fountain of love inside of her & she showered her love & compassion generously in her interactions with her children, with everyone in our family, relations & the wider community.?

I remember that there were many children from our community who wanted to continue taking lessons from her, not because she was the best teacher in the area but simply because she taught with so much compassion & love. Many of my university friends, to this day, recall how lovingly she would host them at our humble apartment in those days & dish out the most amazing traditional Konkani dishes for them.?

In my leadership, drawing on lessons from this, I have often led with my heart & brought that same compassion to the teams that I have worked with. Tuning in to the needs of others & sensing what makes them tick using these emotional qualities, have helped me build lasting relationships that continue to thrive over the years.

Serving is the highest form of Leadership

The concept of “Servant Leadership” is gaining ground in the corporate world in recent times. My mother was definitely the first & best “Servant Leader” whom I learnt from. The concept of Servant Leadership is one where instead of personal gain, success of a leader is defined by how much they are able to uplift, empower & encourage positive change within a team or community. Personal motivations take a back seat as the leader focuses on helping others get better at what they do & everyone is also motivated to further serve others, so that collectively, everyone succeeds.

My mother amply displayed this quality, as also some of the other important qualities of a servant leadership like Humility, Empathy & Active Listening, while facilitating the growth of others.?

The principle of servant leadership has always inspired me & continues to inspire me today, where as a Leadership Coach, I try to inspire other leaders to meaningful & exponential growth?

Here’s wishing my late mom (who I feel is still very much with me in spirit) & all other moms A Very Happy Mothers’ Day . The way mothers lead our next generation will indeed determine the future of our world.