Leadership Lessons from a 'Weird' Dad: The Art of Giving Feedback

As I sat down to work on my book, a heartwarming picture popped up on my phone. It was a snapshot taken by my children, showcasing a motley collection of leadership, management, self-help, communications, philosophy, and psychology books sprawled across my office desk (from earlier in the day). The caption? "Dad, you're weird and we absolutely love you for it!"

In that moment, a wave of joy washed over me, and yes I fought back proud tears. My kids have always celebrated my uniqueness, often jesting that it provides them with ample ammunition for teasing. Yet, beneath their playful banter lies a profound appreciation for the unconventional path I've chosen to tread—not just as a parent, but also in my professional life. This picture, and their words, serve as a vivid reminder of why I relentlessly pursue growth, both for myself and those I have the privilege to lead and serve.

In the realm of leadership, one of the most potent tools at our disposal is feedback. It's the cornerstone upon which individual and collective success is built. Drawing from my extensive journey through the worlds of leadership and personal development, I've come to understand that the essence of our roles as leaders is to uplift and empower those around us, helping them to realize their fullest potential.

Due to my wierd dadness, I've come across research by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman which sheds light on an intriguing aspect of feedback: the ideal ratio of praise to criticism stands at 6:1. Teams that flourish under the guidance of this principle receive six positive comments for every negative one. This isn't just about being nice; it's about understanding what fuels high performance and engagement. The difference between the most and least successful teams often boils down to this ratio of positive reinforcement.

Research that confirms my mantra "Catch People Doing Things Right!", which has become a guiding principle for me. My approach to leadership is adaptive, akin to what some may call, Situational Leadership. Every team member is unique, each at a different stage of their development journey, and each dealing with a particular issue at that moment. This diversity demands a tailored approach to feedback and guidance, much like a coach who praises a quarterback for a well-executed play and then uses that moment to reinforce positive behaviors and outcomes.

In my role, I have always preferred to be called a coach rather than a boss or manager. "Coach" reflects my commitment to being an active participant in my team's development, always on the lookout for opportunities to highlight their successes and seeking areas for improvement. It's about fostering an environment where feedback is not feared but welcomed as a tool for growth and excellence. Regardless of your preferred style, look for times to provide feedback...and then do it!

The essence of effective feedback lies in its ability to inspire and motivate, to remove obstacles, and to pave the way for individuals and teams to deliver exceptional experiences to customers and to each other. It's about creating a culture where feedback is seen as a gift, one that enriches and elevates.

To all those who have embraced the noble calling of leadership and service, let this be a clarion call. The art of leadership is not just about steering the ship but also about nurturing the crew. Make it your mission to catch people doing things right and celebrate these moments loudly. Equally important is the vigilant search for what I like to call "areas of opportunities"—those pivotal moments where your feedback can catalyze growth and improvement. Your role transcends the boundaries of mere professional development; it's about helping individuals become the best versions of themselves, both in their careers and personal lives.

As I reflect on the legacy I wish to leave behind, two measures of success stand paramount: the hope that my children grow to be individuals who live to uplift others, and the impact I've had in helping others reach their pinnacle of potential. This, to me, is the true essence of a life well-lived.

Now...as I wrap up these reflections, I'm reminded of the playful spirit that permeates my life, both at home and in the workplace. It's a reminder that leadership, at its core, is a journey of service, growth, and, yes, a bit of quirkiness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to my dual role as a 'weird' dad and a dedicated coach, ever ready to provide more opportunities for my kids to tease me—and more importantly, to learn, laugh, and grow together on this wonderful journey we call life.

Remember, in leadership as in parenting, it's our unique quirks that make us memorable. Embrace them, and let them guide you in uplifting those around you.