Leadership Lessons from the Potty: Chocolate, Chaos, and a Toddler's Hustle

We’re 72 hours into potty training my almost 3-year-old, and let me tell you, it’s been a journey. We approached it like seasoned project managers: set clear goals, establish incentives, and assume success within a tight deadline.

“Three days. We’ve got this.”

Turns out, potty training is just like running an Agile project. Lots of "Sprinting" to the bathroom followed by a "Standup". Rinse and repeat (literally). My toddler as the Product Owner and no clear definition of "done".

On the surface, seems straightforward enough so there is no need for requirements gathering or talking to users for feedback. We followed a tried and true system: sit on the potty, then potty, then get chocolate. Simple, right? Nay.

My daughter quickly turned this into her own hustle. She sits, smiles, and says, “I did it!”—whether or not the potty saw any action. At this point, I’m not training her to use the bathroom; I’m training her to negotiate incentives better than a sales team closing end-of-quarter deals.

I up the reward ante with "makeup" but alas, no change. A classic situation of starting with lofty goals, realizing your timeline is wildly unrealistic, and end up winging it just to survive. It’s a game of hope vs. reality, and chocolate is the only constant. You know you’re in the trenches of parenting when chocolate becomes both the incentive and the coping mechanism.

Potty Training vs. Work Projects

I relate this back to the business and professional world through the following table:

Lean on your team.

My wife and I are running this like a two-person scrum. She’s the Scrum Master, keeping things on track and managing our “stakeholder’s” rapidly changing priorities.

I’m the dev team, responsible for delivering under pressure and cleaning up every “production bug” (read: accident). Meanwhile, our dog sits in the corner like that one coworker who’s always at stand-up but never contributes. Sitting at the ready and watching the chaos unfold, armed with the "you are over complicating this" face.

You need the team to talk you off that ledge, confirm that you are in fact not crazy, and provide the support you need. (Or, someone to go on that much needed beer run.)

The Lesson Beneath the Mess

If you follow my articles, I have a red-thread theme that all projects at work and in life have assumptions, risks, rewards and opportunities to improve. This one is no different because falling into the “this is easy” trap happens at a subconscious level. Many times we see a concept as straightforward, we assume the execution will be too. But as soon as you get started, the variables, details, and unexpected challenges make themselves known.

Whether it’s potty training, launching a product, or guiding a team, assumptions can lead to stress, missed expectations, and plenty of clean-up work. The difference comes in how you approach it with your team and your leaders.

Often times I try and always acknowledge from the start that you don’t know what you don’t know. It helps create space for curiosity, learning, and adaptability. Often times, I am the one who says "this is not going to happen" in a rather abrupt and terse (not rude) way. This is because people often times struggle to accept why things are the way they are since they too "assume" it should be another way.

For me, one of the most rewarding parts of leadership is rolling up my sleeves to tackle challenges while helping others navigate their own journeys. As genuinely empathetic leader the goal isn’t to avoid messes but it’s to guide people through them, ensuring that progress happens and everyone grows along the way.

Potty training has been a crash course in this. Every small win reminds me that success isn’t about having a flawless plan; it’s about staying present, supporting your “team” (in this case, my wife and daughter), and rolling with the punches when things go off script. Consistency is key.

The same applies in the workplace. Being a people leader is about more than delivering results it’s about enabling those around you to succeed, even when the path gets messy. The win isn't for me or for my wife, but for my daughter - she is my stakeholder. Whether you’re managing a toddler or a team, the key is to focus on progress, keep a sense of humor, and remember that every setback is a chance to move closer to your goals.

Got any potty training tips? Let me know in the comments below!