Leadership Lessons from NYC with Sebastian

Ok friends. This month’s blog post doesn't follow the normal pattern (Narrative plus 3 to 5 lessons), because why should it?? Nothing seems “normal" right now anyways. So, I am writing this one completely differently. So, for you to be able to digest it, I suggest you read it the way I wrote it. Go to your favorite music platform (for me its #amazonmusic ). Search Becky G - Shower. Take a deep inhale. Now exhale. Wait 2 seconds. Repeat. And now that you are relaxed, read…..

First, the main takeaway. I went to New York on a spontaneous trip with my seven year old son, Sebastian (our first trip alone together).? My main takeaway - don’t forget to LIVE LIFE HARD no matter what is going on around you! Listen to your body. Spend intentional time with your loved ones.? Be kind to yourself and others. Here are 15 lessons (that's right - 15!!) I connected to during my 72 hour trip that will help you achieve these things in no specific order (to make it more fun :)).?

This song is only 3 minutes, 25 seconds long. So read quickly (no pressure, put it on repeat if needed).?

#1 Everyone sees a situation from the perspective of their own reality. Sebas and I landed at JFK at 11:30 AM on Tuesday, took a taxi to midtown, and by 1:30pm were walking to a restaurant to eat lunch. On the way there, someone tried to stop us and tell us the typical “I have been standing here all day trying to get a train home to Jersey to take care of my sick parents and asking for money” story. As we kept walking, they yelled several unpleasantries at us, which confused Sebas. “Why is he mad at you?” He asked. I explained to him that he in fact was just mad at the world, not me specifically. By the time we walked the 10 blocks to the restaurant, he was confused why we couldn't drive to the place, why so many people were yelling bad words at no one in particular, and why New York was in fact called “new" when everything was old. It was at that moment that I realized although we had lived in NYC and traveled there several times per year, it was actually Sebas’s first time there. Everyone has a different perspective and are living different realities in the same world. If you find yourself frustrated with someone, remember to lead with grace and seek to understand their perspective.?

#2 The Details matter.? There are so many restaurants in NYC. How do you decide where to eat?? For Sebas, what makes or breaks a place is the details.? He judged a restaurant on if they set the table properly, the decoration on the silverware, if they prepared the food how we asked (got the basics right), and general ambience.? When you are trying to stand out from the crowd, the details absolutely matter. How are you showing up??

#3 If given the choice, fly direct. But realize that Life rarely goes to your plan but it always works out. And either way you will get to where you are trying to go. One of our most fun moments was in a delay in a layover in ATL coming from LGA. We really bonded on trying to figure out how to spend an unexpected 2 hours at 10PM in an airport.?

#4 Sense of time is unique to the person. Sebas had no sense of time even though he was asking every 2 minutes what time it was. Just zero sense of urgency. In his mind, everything would wait for him. The plane. The metro. You name it, and it would wait in his mind. Be patient with each other. Everyone has their own definition of time.?

#5 Take breaks. How did we end up going to NYC? You know sometimes you get that pit in your stomach that says “I need to get out of here? My city/world/ life feels like it's getting smaller.” I felt that three weeks ago. I thought it would go away with a staycation at a great, rooftop pool in Austin. But it didn't. I needed a bigger, full break. So I decided Saturday night I would go somewhere on Tuesday with Sebas (who was on Spring Break); bought us two tickets to NYC; and flew out at 6am on Tuesday. That brings me to the next 2 lessons.?

#6 Be present. ?Listen to your body and your mind.?

#7 Don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Sometimes you need something that is not as logical as your normal decision making process. Sometimes you need the break in routine to get you to your next milestone. Which brings me to the next lesson.?

#8 Routine is great. But it can also break you. You need balance. It will eat you alive. Leave your routine sometimes, which takes me to the next lesson.?

#9 Remember you are fun. Life is fun. Break your routine if you need to remind yourself of that. This brings me to my next lesson.??

#10 Sometimes it's worth seeing things from the eyes of a child. During the trip, I asked Sebas his thoughts on some of the challenges that felt like the biggest mountains to me. And you know what…he had ideas and perspectives I could have never come up with alone because he sees life so much simpler. Sometimes that is the perspective you need to get through your next “growth spurt.”?

#11 You never really stop getting to know someone. By the time we got to the end of our 72 hours together, I realized that I learned things about Sebastian that I didn't know before. Given I birthed this child and have spent 7 years with him, I did not expect that. But having him alone without the influence of his sister/dad/other family/friends, I realized so much more about him. His natural curiosity, deep empathy and kindness, and poor eating habits shined. He also has very clear short term goals which brings me to my next point.?

#12 Sometimes just wear your favorite shirt even if it doesn’t go with your look. Even if it's underneath your logical shirt choice, it will make you super confident and adjust your point of view. That's right. Some kind of way his Real Madrid Football Club shirt, which started the day as an undershirt, was revealed as a main shirt by the time we hit noon. And the confidence that came with that was contagious! People stopped us in both airports offering him unsolicited compliments and smiles.?

#13 Everything works out exactly as it should. I actually didn’t hit the “officially relaxed button” until the last four hours of the trip in our extended layover in ATL. In that stop, I digested these leadership lessons.

#14 Take deep breaths. It's calming.?

#15 You are probably more tired than you think. Rest. Pace yourself. Careers are long.?

LIVE! Life is short. Smile a lot. Laugh a lot. Dance a lot. Listen to good music. And spend intentional time with the important people in your life.?

Mental health is important. Take care of yourself.?

Sending hugs from me and Sebastian!? If you want to see a visual representation of this trip, check out our adventures on Instagram .

You Got This.?

Jess?

#management #leadership #womeninbusiness