Leadership Lessons From My Nine-Year-Old

Gentle Reminders of What Makes a Great Leader

Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to be surrounded by leaders—some great, and others who have taught me what I never want to be as a leader and person. One key reminder for me has been that in a world often dominated by seasoned professionals, technology, so-called experts, and well-crafted strategies, it’s incredibly easy to overlook the simple yet profound lessons that can come from the most unexpected everyday places.

I constantly read articles, novels, or listen to podcasts about leadership from well-known authors, coaches, and mentors close to me. It became easy to forget my own voice and learnings throughout my career. Recently, I was reminded of the timeless and simple truths of leadership by none other than my nine-year-old son, Milo. This was the inspiration I needed to get my butt in front of my laptop and write my first-ever LinkedIn article on something so close to my heart.

Here's how a young boy's journey to being named the "Most Valuable Team Player" (MVTP) offered me powerful insights into leadership, without having to read a novel or listen to a podcast!

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The Coveted MVTP Award

This year, our son Milo joined his first-ever soccer team (or football team, depending on where you reside, but let’s leave that debate for my next article). Milo was fortunate to join a welcoming team with amazing young talented players, guided by Coach Rob, who believes that players should have fun, be given equal opportunities, and always adhere to their team values. The team values—Respect, Hard Work, and Improvement—were decided upon by the young team. After every game, Coach Rob asks the team for feedback on their performance, including what they did well, what they could improve, and if they played according to their team values. He acknowledges the team's efforts, highlights individual contributions, and boosts morale, especially after a loss. And then closes off by selecting a Player of the Day and a MVTP. The MVTP gets to take home a trophy for a week—a coveted honour that every player eagerly anticipates.

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Consistently Showing Up

Milo was nervous upon joining the team. He faced players who already knew each other, had camaraderie among themselves, and had ambitions of becoming professional footballers (let’s be clear; Milo’s ambition is to be a video gamer or chemical engineer). However, as a family, we agreed he would engage in at least one team sport, and he chose soccer.

Understanding his underlying fears and uncertainties, Milo also had to undergo major tympanoplasty surgery on May 16 for a ruptured eardrum, a few weeks after joining the team. It was touch-and-go on whether he should stay on the team or leave, but he chose to stay while he fully recovered, pacing himself during training and games to improve his skill set. A week after the surgery, he still wanted to attend a game. His words were, “Mom, I need to be there to show my support even if I can’t play. I must show them I am still part of the team.” So, as a family, we pitched up, cheered for Team Black, and Milo even served as an assistant coach. A week later, he was back in training and games. Key lesson: a leader shows up, because it’s not just about you.

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Feel the Fear

Like most adults, kids also face imposter syndrome, and Milo would constantly compare himself to his teammates, saying he was the weakest player and was letting the team down. We gave him two choices: he could leave the team out of fear, never knowing how good he could become, or he could stay, use his fear to improve his game every week, and accept that his teammates were not his competition—his only competition was his mindset. He chose to stay! I could see how exhausted he felt after every training session and how nervous he was before each game. And seriously, have you ever been to a kids' soccer game? Soccer parents can be harsh, I tell you! But a leader feels the fear and does it anyway!

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Celebrating Others' Successes

Every week, we watched Milo push through training and games. Especially after games to gauge his expression. He never showed any jealousy, always celebrated his teammates' successes, and would talk about the Player of the Day and MVTP on the way home, feeling that Coach Rob made great choices. He remained in awe of his teammates, and we could feel his genuine happiness for his teammates despite his own desire for recognition. This highlighted a crucial aspect of leadership: openly celebrating others' successes.

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Embracing Intimidation and Staying Positive

Even though Milo continued to feel intimidated among his teammates, each week it began to feel less so. Before every training session or game, we encouraged him to have a positive attitude, hang in there, give his best on and off the field, and most importantly, have fun. This resilience in the face of intimidation taught him the importance of perseverance and maintaining a positive outlook—vital traits for any leader facing daunting challenges.

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The Essence of Teamwork

We emphasised to Milo that being part of a team and being a good teammate are paramount. Leadership isn't about rank or knowing everything, but about being able to inspire, trust and rely on those around you who excel in areas where you don't. It’s about showing up consistently, having a strong work ethic, and always striving to learn and improve. Milo's ability to embody these qualities, even in a recreational sports setting, underscored the essence of true leadership: consistent effort, a willingness to learn, and a commitment to the team.

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Recognition and Realisation

When Milo was finally named MVTP, exactly a month post-surgery, his surprise and excitement were palpable, not only to him but to us as his parents. He stepped up to give a speech to a departing team member, after which Coach Rob gave an inspiring speech about leadership before announcing Milo as the MVTP for the day. Coach Rob's acknowledgment of his actions validated the lessons we'd been teaching him. He isn’t the best player on the team by any measure (not yet anyway), and quite honestly, we don’t need him to be because he’s learning so much more than just soccer. We need him to learn the bigger life lessons that come from being part of a team or leading a team. Milo's journey to this recognition was a powerful reminder that leadership is not about instant gratification but about earning respect through consistent behaviour and effort.

Lessons for All Ages

Milo has reminded me that leadership transcends age and experience. In the hustle and bustle of our professional lives as leaders, it's easy to forget the simple truths about leadership that you don’t need a workshop or book to understand. My son’s journey has been a touching and profound reminder that leadership is about character, resilience, and a genuine commitment to the well-being of the team. The qualities that make a great leader—celebrating others, persevering through challenges, consistently showing up, and continuously learning—are universal. As we strive to be better leaders, let's take a page from Milo's book: show up, celebrate others, and always keep learning.

?By embodying these traits, even a nine-year-old can inspire and lead by example.

Disclaimer: The statements, views, or opinions expressed in my LinkedIn profile and related articles represent my own views, those based upon research or my own real-life learnings. They are not those of my employer.