Leadership lessons from my father’s war: you take care of the people you lead!

As a 20 years old Lieutenant of the army, my father ordered about 80 men to abandon their defensive bunker positions as enemy tanks approached. More than 120 soldiers of his company were already dead or injured, including his company commander, a Major. They were 200 infantrymen facing an onslaught by 20 tanks and 3000 soldiers. They had exhausted their meagre supply of anti-tank ammunition, and managed to destroy three enemy tanks. The men watched in horror from a distance as the tanks climbed on top of their abandoned bunkers and razed them to the ground. If they had stayed in their positions, they would be ground meat. 

Yielding territory to the enemy was deemed a failure. Last stands were glorified. This and other reversals had rendered this sector a dark spot among impressive victories being carved out in other theaters of the war. The war continued for about 2 weeks more.  

I was born a decade later. My father never talked about the war all his life. All he would say is this. Soldiers don’t like war, politicians do. Politicians don’t fight wars, soldiers do. He retired as a colonel from the army, and now is almost 70 years old. Life has taken its toll on him. He has Parkinson's, significant loss of hearing, and other ailments. 

Few days back, my 5 years old son asked grandpa to narrate the story of his war. My father, in some emotional pain, opened up for the first time on this. Speaking slowly and deeply, he pieced together his broken memories and narrated this story of the war over a WhatsApp call. 

I asked him how he handled the loss of so many lives and ignominy of retreat. He seemed unfazed. He said it's simple, you respond to the call of duty and you take care of the people you lead. Failure is temporary, people are not. Sometimes challenges are insurmountable. Sometimes your team makes mistakes. It is ok to lose one day, but not ok to lose your team. 

“War does not determine who is right — only who is left.”

― Anonymous

At this point in my career, I have worked in a variety of corporate cultures. I believe the cultures that deliver the best performance are the ones that provide physiological safety for the individuals to make mistakes and learn from them. Maybe that is cliche. But then, I have seen cultures that clearly did not. Politics and distrust reigned. Failed initiatives and isolated mistakes were used as a pretext to show the door to otherwise high performing individuals. Morale sagged. Talent left. Teams were decimated. Business growth fell. Leaders are accountable for business outcomes. More importantly, leaders are accountable for creating the right culture that allows their teams to eventually succeed. You take care of the people you lead.

A day later, the remnants of my father’s company regrouped with the remnants of other companies and regiments in the area. Together, they launched a counter attack on a numerically superior and better armored enemy force. While they didn’t win a major victory, they halted the enemy's progress into their home territory. A stalemate ensued. Meanwhile, the army won big in other theaters of war. A ceasefire of hostilities was announced a week later.

I have been lucky enough to work for some great leaders who allowed me to make mistakes and deliver another day. Over the years, I have tried to imbibe the same principles and allow my direct reports to make mistakes without fear. Some needed coaching and repeatedly putting them in those “out of comfort zone” situations until they gained skill and confidence. Some delivered phenomenal successes later. I guess, you take care of the people you lead!

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