Leadership Lessons From My Father

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016, is a day I would like to forget but it is now etched in my memory. I lost my father.

On August 10th every year I try to remember the man he was and seek out stories that he would otherwise never share. This year on the day, I took a day off from work and visited his workplace, a doctor by passion and an administrator by profession. Re-read the sentence to understand the gravity of what I am about to say.

I was staying with friends in Gurgaon and embarked on a 90-minute journey to Shahadra, a small industrial nook in the older parts of Delhi, the drive leads you to a dilapidated hospital run by the government of Delhi called Swami Dayanand Hospital or SDNH for short. He spent 40 years as an anaesthetist, led the department, led the hospital and finally retired as the Director of Medical Services for the East Delhi Municipal Corporation. I landed at the hospital at around 9:15 AM, the intention was to visit the block named after him, but what it turned into was a small masterclass taught by him to his colleagues that miraculously found its way back to me.

I met his colleague, Dr Singhal first. He took me to the new (still looks old) doctor's room, I was treated to a Samosa and some tea from the hospital canteen. It's there where I first started hearing stories about the kind of 'boss' my father chose to be.

The first story and lesson was about being a good listener, to your colleagues and in his case his patients too.

Dr Singhal who I never pegged as a good storyteller (judged too quickly) narrated with a fair amount of detail and brilliance the story about an old woman who barged into the doctor's room and started yelling at the doctors present, my father was on his rounds visiting other patients. The doctors who were slowly losing their patience with the old woman, waited to try and understand the woman but to no avail. Upon my father's arrival, she turned to face him and started yelling at him. He asked her to sit down, up until that time no one had offered her a chair, called the ward boy and asked him for two things, one was a hot cup of tea and the other was a battery for the woman's hearing aid. The others had missed it, once the battery was in place the others realised that she was merely raising her voice because she could not hear well, the lesson as Dr Singhal mentioned was the ability to listen to what was not being said, and that as Doctors one cannot be quick to conclude an assessment. He never explicitly "taught" them the lesson, merely did so himself so others could know how it's done.

The second lesson was in upskilling self and others, making sure that growth was the foundation you built a department on, the next story was narrated by Dr Ranjit Chatterjee, who now heads the critical care wing that my father helped set up. Dr. Chatterjee, the holder of multiple certifications and keynote speaker on critical care was always nudged by my father to pursue certifications and build a reputable portfolio academically so he could contribute to building and sustaining the wing they co-developed. As Dr Chatterjee mentioned, my father was a visionary and said that he was limited because what we wanted to do would take time and patience, he wanted Dr Chatterjee to be equipped enough to scale the wing that he dreamt of, as the tech would keep evolving. Enabling someone to build the positive habit of seeking knowledge and constantly being educated about their field was something he helped build.

The third and most important lesson was the one of humility, as the head of the department my father had access and just the privilege of ensuring he got what he needed. He was as the head of the department entitled to a room of his own which he declined and chose to remain amidst his folk to ensure they functioned as a team owned success and failure together. When my maternal grandmother fell sick, all he needed to do was call and demand space for her instead he called politely and asked if there was space available for her to be treated. The other was when he was made Medical Superintendent (MS) the highest post you can hold at a government-run hospital, as the former MS had moved out on an assignment. The former MS chose to come back, and my father was asked to step down, upon being asked by the commissioner in the day if that was okay he simply said "Sir, I am a soldier and I will serve where I am required" he eventually went on to be the MS of the hospital.

I have always been very proud of my father and the fact that he never made a big deal about big deals makes me feel whatever the word beyond proud is. This little piece is being written both as a son and as someone who believes in these lessons as a leader.

One of the final things Dr Singhal told me before I left a little teary-eyed was this "tumhare papa ne bhale hi paisa na kamaya ho, izzat bohot kamayi hai" to those reading in English this just means "Your father may not have earned a lot of money, but he earned a lot of respect"

To recap, the top things I learnt from this visit to my father's workplace as a leader are

1. Be committed to your cause
2. Have a set of core beliefs that are unshakeable
3. Be a lifelong student and learner
4. No Task is too big, no task is too small
5. Worry about the impact and the community you serve
6. Listen
7. You grow when others grow
8. Build things that last
9. No man's an island
10. Be humble in success and in failure

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Feedback and debate are always welcome.

Stay frosty,

Sid