Leadership Lessons at My Breakfast Table

As I celebrate my late mother's birthday today, I am reminded of the wonderful life and leadership lessons she consistently practiced in her role as my parent and my coach. Early each morning, before school, we would sit together at breakfast, and she would help me prepare for the day ahead by providing me her wisdom and support. Never telling or directing, she would ask me questions, which of course led to a few "ahas" and moments of self-awareness. Not always easy for me to digest with my Captain Crunch, these lessons were pivotal in how I survived and thrived through life's challenges in school and beyond.

Three of her key life practices are what makes me the coach, the leader, the person, that I am today:

• Always BALANCE your smarts (IQ) with your heart (EQ): Nobody likes a show-off. Nobody respects an egomaniac. Learn to be humble and vulnerable while continuing to learn and grow. Before the days of what we know now to be the practice of "emotional intelligence," she always said that life teaches us lessons on a daily basis but it is up to us if we allow ourselves to be students. To be vulnerable. To be humble. Do not always be the loudest voice in the room. The quiet voice commands the trust and respect of all over time. As an introvert, this has come in handy for me time and time again.
• Always LOOK-OUT for others: She taught me to help those in need, not with sympathy, but with sharing support and knowledge, so they can get back on their feet again and pay-it-forward. She always said that as a community we need to take care of each other as we never know when we might need the same support. Don't shy away from differences in people or experiences as those are where we can learn the best lessons about ourselves and our world. And there is no doubt that this has led me to my life's work as a coach and trainer.
• Always be DELIBERATE with your words: My mom knew the power of words and how they can help someone or hurt someone. I can remember her always waiting a moment before she responded and I know now that she was not reacting in the moment but being deliberate with what she was going to say. And sometimes, she said, it is best to just listen. To just be there for the other person and not feel the need to say anything. Before Stephen Covey coined it later, my mom was practicing the "listening to understand and empathize versus listening to reply just to say something."

School was not always easy for me. Kids can be mean and hurtful. But life is not always easy or fair. So my mom, recognizing that, realized the life lessons the universe was trying to teach this young kid, no matter how painful. So she leaned into her role at our breakfast table to help her "young coaching client." And I am ever so thankful.

Happy Birthday Coach Mom!