Leadership Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All: Lessons in Adaptability and Growth

Introduction: Rethinking Leadership

For much of my life, I viewed leadership as a straightforward concept. A leader leads, followers follow, and as long as you work hard and stay consistent, everything falls into place. What I’ve realized this semester is that leadership is far from static—it’s a dynamic, deeply personal process. One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is that different people need to be led in different ways. Leadership isn’t about imposing my style on others but about understanding their unique needs and adapting to help them succeed. This insight has challenged my approach, deepened my empathy, and given me tools to lead effectively in my career and personal life.

My Leadership Beginnings

Leadership has always been a part of my life, though my early experiences often revolved around responsibility rather than adaptability. As the eldest child, I naturally took on a leadership role with my siblings. Whether guiding them through challenges or helping with family responsibilities, I learned early that being dependable and hard-working earned trust.

In sports and my family’s lawn care business, I saw leadership through the lens of action—showing up, doing the work, and setting an example for others. My Christian faith further shaped my view, instilling in me a servant-leadership mindset. As Timothy Keller said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” These experiences formed a solid foundation, but they didn’t yet teach me how to tailor my leadership style to individual needs.

Strengths That Inform My Growth

This semester, reflecting on my CliftonStrengths Assessment illuminated strengths I’ve always carried but didn’t fully understand how to apply:

• Relator: I thrive in deep, meaningful relationships. This strength aligns perfectly with the idea that leadership must be personal and adaptable. Knowing others deeply is the starting point for understanding how to lead them.
• Achiever: My drive to accomplish tasks is a double-edged sword—it propels me to excel but can sometimes make me overly focused on outcomes rather than people. Recognizing this has been a critical step in my growth.
• Discipline: Routines and structure have always anchored me. While these qualities help me stay consistent, I’ve learned that flexibility is just as important when leading others.

These strengths helped me see how I naturally lead but also revealed gaps in my ability to adapt to others’ needs.

Realizations from How Will You Measure Your Life?

Clayton Christensen’s article posed a powerful question: What’s your yardstick? For years, I measured leadership success through results—whether tasks were completed or goals achieved. But Christensen challenges us to consider deeper measures: Are we positively impacting others? Are we helping them thrive?

One story from the article stuck with me: Diana, whose treatment at work significantly affected her personal life. This reminded me of the weight leaders carry in shaping their teams’ quality of life. It’s not enough to lead how I want to lead; I must lead in ways that uplift and empower those around me.

A Story That Changed My Perspective

One of the most impactful examples of this lesson came from my friend Jasmine John, who works at J.B. Hunt. She shared a story about Mrs. Shelly Simpson, the company’s President and CEO. Early in Jasmine’s tenure, she attended a company sports event where Shelly approached her, an hourly worker, and started a conversation. Shelly asked about Jasmine’s family, her experiences at the company, and her personal life.

The conversation, longer than it could've been, left a lasting impression. Shelly’s ability to make Jasmine feel seen, valued, and respected wasn’t just a nice gesture; it was a masterclass in leadership. Shelly’s actions taught me that knowing people on a deep level—not just professionally but personally—is essential to leading them well.

Lessons from My Family

This realization brought me back to my childhood and the leadership lessons I learned from my father. My brother and I are very different—I’m Type A, disciplined, and driven, while he’s more laid-back and creative. Neither personality is better than the other, and we each have different strengths and weaknesses, so watching my dad adapt his parenting style for each of us showed me that good leadership isn’t about rigidity; it’s about meeting people where they are.

As I reflect on this now, I see how my dad’s adaptability helped both of us succeed in different ways. It also reinforced a critical truth: It’s the leader’s responsibility to adapt, not the follower’s job to conform. This perspective has shaped my growth as a servant leader, someone who seeks to support and uplift rather than dictate.

The Power of Character and Connection

This semester, Jason Turner’s lesson on character versus competence also resonated deeply with me. While competence is vital, he emphasized that leadership ultimately hinges on character. Relationships, not skills alone, define a leader’s legacy. Turner’s insight—“Your quality of life will be wrapped up in the quality of your relationships”—encouraged me to focus on building trust, respect, and connection with those I lead.

The Leader-Member Exchange (LMX) Theory further reinforced this idea. By centering leadership on interactions, LMX highlights the importance of developing individualized relationships with team members. This aligns perfectly with my goal of tailoring leadership styles to meet the needs of each person.

Insights from The Sensational Leader

Duane Cummings’ book, The Sensational Leader, added another layer to my understanding of servant leadership. The idea that “the backbone of a company is the people doing the real work” struck a chord with me. Leaders who immerse themselves in their teams’ day-to-day challenges earn trust and respect.

This reminded me of one of the characters mentioned in the book, Molly Fletcher, and her emphasis on “win-win” situations—helping those I lead achieve their goals while aligning them with organizational success. Leading in this way requires humility, presence, and a willingness to adapt, all qualities I strive to embody.

Superpowers for Leadership

Reflecting on Julie Reilman’s question, “What’s your superpower?” I realized two qualities define my leadership journey:

1. Discipline: My ability to show up consistently and work hard enables me to create stability for others.
2. Listening: Seeking to understand others’ needs before acting has become a cornerstone of my leadership philosophy.

These qualities align with the main lesson I’ve learned: leadership is about knowing and meeting others’ needs, not just enforcing my own style.

Conclusion: Leadership as a Lifelong Journey

This semester has transformed my understanding of leadership. I’ve learned that adaptability, empathy, and humility are not just desirable traits—they are essential for leading effectively. Leadership isn’t about personal accolades or rigid methods; it’s about tailoring my approach to help others thrive.

As I move forward in my career and personal life, this lesson will remain central to my philosophy. By continuing to learn, reflect, and grow, I aim to create environments where everyone feels valued and empowered. After all, the true measure of leadership lies in its impact on the lives of those we serve.

Sources:

Cummings, D. (2019). The Sensational Leader: A Story of Growth, Providing a Simple Path to Becoming a Leader Worth Following. Balboa Press.

Christensen, C. M. (2019). How Will You Measure Your Life? Thorsons.

Rath, T. (2007). Strengths finder 2.0: Now, discover your strengths. Gallup Press.

Keller, T., & Gardner, N. (2022). The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy. 10Publishing.